recurring bartholin's cyst

i have had bartholin cyst now for 5 years since i was 17 it started just from having sex then i had a huge lump the next morning andit grew to the size of a baseball literelly in hours i went to emergency room and they said it was an ingrown hair or i was sticking foreign objects in my vagina?!?!?!? i was so pissed so they lanced it and sent me home. by time i got home i was in soooo much pain i was screaming begging for my parents to call me an ambulance. i went back and the did not cut the right spot so i had to be cut 3 more times! and was admitted into the hospital for over a week because the infection was soo bad. then i found out i was pregnant and got them twice a month it was soooooo painful nothing i have ever experienced worst pain in the WORLD. I would not let them lance it anymore i refused so they called my obgyn and had him come to the emergency room and set up surgery and since i was pregnant the did a spinal tap so i wouldnt be put to sleep. I had a Marsupialization which did not work. then i had them on and on after i had my son i had another marsupialization which failed again. then they tried a word catheter which caused so much pain i could not move a muscle and as i crawled to the bathroom to pee in tears it fell out! another failed attempt! now i have had one for almost 6 months which is the size of a grape its not abcessed its just there it hurts durring sex and sitting but its manageable. my doctors keep telling me they refuse to do the removal of gland because it is hard to find its a blood bath and it will cause long term pain and scarring!! seeking some sort of freedom from this terrible c**p!!! I am out of hope!