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This here's the joke thread, any kind, even corny. C'mon let's laugh!!!! :LOL:


Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications
that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as WWE 7.4, Southpark 3.2 and CH5 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?


Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Budweiser 4.5 combined with such applications as Wonder Bra 34c and that old standby -- Lingerie 6.9 (which have both been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck,
Tech Support


Three blondes (naturally) died and found themselves standing before
St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom,
they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast
and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and
exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said,
"So, tell me."

She said," Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples
when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him.
The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they
buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder. . . .

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the
boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six
more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.


:fresh in my mind from prank call session:

Did you read that book called 'Trails in the Sand' by penis Dragon?


Those made the whole place laugh... more more more!!


I'm in the red with my jokes account, LE...Sorry!


I'm in the red with my jokes account, LE...Sorry!
I can't believe you're gonna leave me hangin', brutha...