Prior to the birth of my 3rd child I was very energetic and able to cope with anything, now I stress out easily and feel like I can't handle much pressure. My energy levels are quite often low yet I can't sleep before midnight. Someday's I am in tears because I am so tired yet I still can't sleep.
I have tried talking to my family and have asked them to help me out with the kids, to no avail. some day's I feel like running away, but then I feel incredibly guilty and like a terrible mother for thinking that.
In the past when I have felt down, i've always been able to pull myself out of it quickly. But in the last 18 months it takes me over a week to pull myself out of a slump and even then it is only for a few days.
I'm sick of feeling like this, it's not healthy for my family. What is wrong with me.
It sounds like you may have signs of postpartum depression. This is a depression that sets in after the birth of a child. It can take several months to a few years to get better. I suggest you seek some counseling. If you see a psychiatrist, he may put you on an antidepressant. This may be good for you. However, if you experience negative side effects, such as thoughts of suicide, homicide, etc., go back to your psychiatrist and asked to be weaned off or switched to another medication. I warn about this because some women with postpartum depression have experienced these extreme side effects after being prescribed a medication. I do think, however, that some form of counseling would be beneficial to you. Also speak to your partner about your depression and ask that he help you. Demand some form of help because this is too extreme for you. Tell him that you want to take care of yourself and the children, but without his help, you don't feel you can do it the way you need to or to the best of your abilities.