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hi everyone its been ages since i was last on here sorry i will try and come on here more often. i really could do with some advise the thing is i applied for a job in july and got it i had a friend who worked there in the office who also worked in the office of the agency that im trying to get away from i was out with this friend saturday night and he said to me do you want to know the real reason you didnt get the job at careline i said yes he said that debbie (my manager) had given me a bad reference he had been there heard the whole phonecall and he said that she spoke about my mental health so i said thats unfair and we were talking about how c**p they were im currently trying to find another job and i have a company called graft helping me they help people with mental heatlh issues get back in to work so i phoned them an d they it was illegal im going down there tomorrow to talk top them about it. the problem is that i have two friends one was my youth worker who told me that his partner was manager of the agency they are both my friends and my friend that was the manager is friends with the current one and im terrified its going to ruin friendships my youthworker friend said when i first started there said he was worried that if things didnt work out would i blame his partner i told him that it wouldnt come between our friendship cos if it doesnt work out then thats that it wouldnt come between us and it wouldnt be his partners fault my friend actually got promoted shortly after that to a different branch of the company but then he left completely. they are really great friends to me and im so scared that if i say something about this reference thing that it will ruin my friendships with both of them. my mumsays it wont affect them cos my friend isnt a manager there anymore and my other friend hasnt ever worked for them i really dont know what to do please help

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Hi honey! I'm a bit confused about your situtation so forgive me for asking "stupid questions OK"? XD

1. These friends of yours that you are worried about, are they friends with this awful woman Debbie? Who by the way did something TOTALLY illegal!!!

2. Who are you worried about telling about this reference? Is it at the agency that will help you file a claim against Debbie?

The way I see it honey is this! What Debbie did is TOTALLY and UTTERLY immoral and illegal! And she needs to be brought to task about it! Actually she should loose her job over that! So regarding her and what SHE did, should not interfere with anyone else at all!!!

I am close to what is going on with you, or am I WAY out to lunch?!!! XD I'm pretty good at figuring situations out honey, AND people especially, so just ask and correct me away OK?
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hi yeah your not far off one friend off mine that was the manager before her is her friend the other friend that was my youth worker is the partner of the previous manager its very confusing the agency wont help me they are all the same in there and yeah what she did was wrong and illegal i just worry that im going to lose two friends over it
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Ok! Got ya! This has NOTHING to do with your friends honey it has EVERYTHING to do with this woman! What you do is talk to your local labour board regulator! They will help you further regarding filing a claim and it will ALL be confidential! They will do an inquiry, and this Debbie and her employers will be told to have COMPLETE secrecy about this! This is for people like yourself to be able to come forward and make a claim without fear of repricusions!

Tell NO ONE what you are doing - it's none of their business! And she and the company she worked for will be held accountable! Also the labour board will get intouch with the company you applied at and ask them wether or not Debbie did say these things about you! Mental health and Physical health has NOTHING to do with a persons references! It is TOTALLY and UTTERLY against the law, so you have them on side! So just keep it on the quiet OK, and let the Labour board do what they HAVE to do!

And do me a favour - go get her for me too OK?!! ;-) Good luck and don't worry about anything else regarding this OK!? She has to be brought to the mat over this! Please keep me updated!
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I agree with what Bambi said! THis is not about friendship, this is about some serious labor violations. Can you tell me if you were able to put in a complaint against her?
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hi thanks for your reply as soon as i have found another job im going to write to headoffice and put in a complaint.cos if i do it while i still work for them they will make my life hell.
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Just know that if you make the complaint now, they can't do anything about it! Also it will stop them from giving you another bad reference! Because you don't want another one from this Debbie woman! Also the longer you take the more time will have gone by and then the labour board looks on your file like "why didn't he do this sooner?!' Don't give her another chance to ruin your chances for a better job honey!
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oh dont worry i wont be using it for another reference my line manager left afew months back and will do me a reference and i have another person aswell so she wont prevent me getting anymore jobs :-D
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lausmokey wrote:

oh dont worry i wont be using it for another reference my line manager left afew months back and will do me a reference and i have another person aswell so she wont prevent me getting anymore jobs :D



That's good to hear then! Can you tell me how things turn out? I am really curious to see how this unfolds! And it would be interesting to hear besides. THanks!
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hi i had an interview on wednesday and found out yesterday i got the job :-D :-D i start on the second of november its a care agency
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lausmokey wrote:

hi i had an interview on wednesday and found out yesterday i got the job :D :D i start on the second of november its a care agency



Hey congrats!! Good on you. I knew you were responsible and mature enough to be able to get out of this tough situation. Trust me, I don't envy you. I'm older than you and I think it would be hard to deal with even at my age...
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VERY happy for you honey!!! Are you still going ahead with the complaint or letting it be?
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Oh yeah, Bambi brings up a good point. Can you tell us what you are going to do about the complaint? I would like to hear how it goes as well. Thanks!
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