I've Homeschooled And Worked From Home For Years. If The COVID-19 Pandemic Forced You Into It, I Got Tips.

"Are you a teacher? Are you qualified to do that? Doesn't that drive you crazy? I could never spend that much time with my kids! But socialization is so important!"

When my kids were younger and we'd just started homeschooling, obviously critical questions and comments about homeschooling like the ones showcased above were pretty common. They stopped coming after a while, but I'll bet that people — including, perhaps the person you were just pre-pandemic — didn't stop thinking them. 

Now, whole swathes of people have been forced into the life the homeschool stereotypes says we had. Perhaps I've got a thing or two to teach (see what I did there?) about retaining family-wide sanity during this whole situation if your whole family, too, learns and works from home now.

What has changed for homeschooling work-from-home families? What's the same?

Contrary to popular belief, homeschooling families don't all Dugger-esquely dress in denim jumpers, cooped up in the basement teaching their kids that homosexuality is a sin and evolution a twisted left-wing mind fruit whenever they're not at church. At which they associate only with like-minded families while trying their hardest to preserve their purity, or something. 

Though we got out plenty, our core productive activities always took place at home. Since three of us with totally different responsibilities were always trying to get everything we needed to done in the same small-ish apartment, that always involved a fair amount of juggling. Yes, we had discussions (yes, yes — verbal fights) over who should do the dishes pre-COVID-19 too. We got on each other's nerves and found ways to deal with that — to work as a team when we needed to, and give each other space when the situation called for that. 

As an international and twenty-first century family, a good portion of our social interactions also already took place via the internet, whether through Discord, gaming, email, or social media. 

Because we chose this life of homeschooling and working from home, we were well set-up when the pandemic hit. We each have our own computers and secluded workspaces, and we had a nice (though now disrupted) routine.

Staying sane while homeschooling and working from home: Pandemic edition

Scientific papers have been published on the topic of helping kids stay sane in home isolation, but they come from a place of novelty and inexperience. Homeschoolers-by-choice have this thing down to a science, through lessons often learned by trial and error.

Routine-wise, this is what's kept me sane:

• Doing your own work when you're least likely to be disturbed. With younger kids, I did my most productive work after dinner — when the kids were busy playing by themselves and then asleep. This gave me a good five-or-so hours to get stuff done. With older children and teens, who actually don't need or want my help as they dig into serious reading and learning materials, all working at the same time works best. 
• Having a few focal points during the day to come together as a family helps. That can be mealtime. It can be a family meeting. It can be collective discussion time, including following and talking about current affairs. 
• Making sure that not every day is the same. You can do this by planning different activities on different days, in this era inside your home. 
• Include exercise or some other kind physical activity in your life every day. This can be chores. It can be dancing along to a silly song. It can be following along with a SteadyHealth exercise video. 
• Kids hate chores. Most people of all ages do, really. Nagging is bad for morale. If you're gonna nag, at least make sure to be doing chores when you're kids are meant to be doing them — that way they won't feel unfairly targeted. Even better, set up specific chore times. Where possible, make sure everyone does something really useful that they don't outright hate. 

Emotional-health-wise, this has helped me and my kids:

• Being honest about your mental state. If you feel particularly stressed, say so — stress makes us all more likely to act like j*rks, and knowing why you're acting that way helps the other folks in your home understand it's not their fault. Encourage your kids to be honest, too. Then, steer clear of someone who says they need space, and be extra nice to someone who needs connection.
• Ensuring everyone has someone outside the immediate family to check in with when they want to talk. It's good to be able to talk to each other, but sometimes we just need someone else. 
• Making sure everyone's got something that's just theirs. Whatever it is (Minecraft, knitting, gardening, making rice pudding, organizing your pantry, playing the piano...), a special interest that's not shared among the whole family means a scared personal space — competition not welcome. 
• Having something common to unite around. Because we like to have our own place to shine, but also need something that brings us together. That can, again, be anything. For our family, it includes Spider-Man, the table game Coup, and a love of discussions. For you, it may be your soccer team, 80s films, and karaoke night. 

And stuff that's specifically helped us since the start of the pandemic includes:

• Following the news collectively and then discussing it. It's important to stay informed. The pandemic is arguably the single most educational thing going around, and that includes learning about how to manage fear and mental health. Turn the news off after a while, but keep the door open to potentially-difficult conversations and don't pretend like everything's going to be just fine when it isn't. Talk about how the pandemic affects each of you personally, and encourage your children to keep a journal about it. 
• Don't pretend it's business as usual. Your normal fun stuff has gone right out the window. Anything new and fun, whether that's movie night, gardening experiments, or using toilet rolls in 100,000 different craft projects is OK. 

If your teleworking and distance learning isn't bringing out your best and most productive selves right now, see how you can change it. If your kids' school is sending in lots of useless busywork, get it done quickly and choose something that does excite you all to learn about together.