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about a 2 months ago i found out i was pregnent and was delighted but when i told my boyfriend he insisted i han an abortion as he thought we were not ready. at first i fought back and told him i wanted to keep the baby but then he finished with me. i felt so cut up about it i felt i would be happier if i had the abortion and kept my boyfriend. since i feel i have been suffering from depression. just last night my boyfriend suggested we go back to just seeing each other, i wasnt happy but felt i dont want to lose him. i had a panic attack about 5 minutes after he told me. i feel so depressed and as if i have no one to turn to . not even my friends can try to understand what i'm going through. has anyone experienced this and how did you deal with it.

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Here is my opinion... I have had 3 abortions, and I am happily married, and I have no regrets..

BUT I WANTED my abortions, I CHOSE them, so of course I am happy.

ANY man that would force you into abortion is a crappy person, but at the same time, were you ready to be a single mom??

YOU have the right to KEEP your baby, but HE has the RIGHT to decide that he does not want to stay around and help you...

You two need to discuss birth control and 'what ifs', and discuss what will happen next time you have sex.
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hi April
so sorry you are having such a hard time.
I guess only you can decide what to do next. But remember that this bad time will pass for you.

Do you have any family to support you?
Do you think you could manage on your own with a baby.
Do you think you could feel ok about having an abortion or giving your baby to another couple.
And if you think about this. If you have the abortion because your boyfriend wants you to, will you ever be able to think of him in the same way again.
Would you feel resentment towards him. Resentment will eventually break up a relationship anyway.

I think that abortion should only be chosen when a woman is sure that is what she needs. Not because she is being emotionally blackmailed. Or because she is afraid of being on her own. You have no guarantees that your boyfriend will stay with you even if you do have the abortion.

Your present boyfriend may not be around for ever but the decision you make will be with you forever.
Whether you decide to keep your baby or give him/her up for adoption or have an abortion.
Ultimately it is you who will live with the decision. Not your boyfriend.
Please seek out some unbiased counselling.

It sometimes helps to write down your options on paper. Helps you to see things more clearly.
I do feel for the position you are in.
You have many things to think about. I hope you can find somebody to help you make the right decision. I hope you are able to make the right choice for you. I wish you the very best of luck.
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i have already had the abortion.
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april_richardson wrote:

i have already had the abortion.



Hi April,

I just read your post... sorry so late. If you have any questions about post abortion issues, please feel free to PM me or post to me, ok?

Hizgrace
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Thank you for the comment... I would really appreciate some advice. Its been about 3 months now and still feel very stressed about the whole situation. I really feel the need to get pregnant again. I can't even watch tv anymore because of all the storylines surrounding the issue. Any advice atall would be excellent because I feel this is ruining me. Thanks again! April


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april_richardson wrote:

Hi thanks alot for the comment! Any advice you coul give atall would be excellent! This is my e-mail... if you could contact me on this it would be easier...Thanks again! April x



Hi April,

I tried to email you from my yahoo account, but for some reason it would not let me. I will try it from my cox account. Let me know if you recieved anything. ok?

Hizgrace
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I did the same thing my boyfriend said it was my fault and he was leaving me because he does not want any children ( i already have three from a previous relationship) so I did it at 12 weeks on Jan. 11 2006 I was due July 15 2006. I regret it every day of my life. Now i have recently found out that he has a son from a woman he used to live with before we met he left her when she was around 12 weeks along I find myself looking at this little boys picture wishing he was mine. What is worse is I am pregnant again and want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything in my life and he says that I am stupid because he is leaving very soon to be a father to this child he did not want but now will be responsible to. I am not a strong person and I struggle every day trying to take care of my three girls but he keeps telling me to get rid of it because he is leaving soon to be with his boy and how am I going to afford this baby and who is going to help, I have none and a very limited income. So he gave me the money to "get rid of it" but i don't want to I don't know that I could handle that again.
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Hi, when i was read your post i felt like i wrote it ..
when my boyfriend and i started dating i told him i would NEVER have an abortion .. when i got pregnant we were happy even though we are young and everyone supported us .. then all of a sudden he was beggin me to have an abrtion .. i refused and refused .. i dont know why i gave in .. this was 3months ago .. all i think about it my due date i would be 6mon pregnant now .. and what my baby would look like his laugh his smile everything .. i dont know what to do ..

who are you dealing ?? emotionally .. are you still with your boyfirend ??

Ash* 19yr
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April please contact me I went threw the same thing. I thought the same things. I would love to talk to you about both our problems.
~Casey

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Please e-mail me... I dont get told when I receive msgs on this so cant reply and am not to sure how to. Thanx x

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Guest wrote:

April please contact me I went threw the same thing. I thought the same things. I would love to talk to you about both our problems.
~Casey

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hi, i'm having an aborting on these days, i'm from chile and here people is just so mean about it, they call you murderer and thing like that but i want to do it and my boyfriend is giving me all the support he can

thanks!
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Guest wrote:

April please contact me I went threw the same thing. I thought the same things. I would love to talk to you about both our problems.
~Casey

**edited by moderator**



I am going through the same thing!! I feel your pain..... I regret having an abortion 3 months ago because my partner didn't want it..... I'd like to talk to someone who is going through the same thing...
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I just had my second abortion. Both were the pill, RU-486.
I was the kid whose mother, a holy-rolling Christian, taught that abortion was evil. It was murder. My mother took me to the DC Right to Life March every year. In Catholic school, I saw pictures of aborted fetuses and watched the movie "the Silent Scream." I even wrote an essay in high school that earned me an award-- the topic: Why Abortion is Wrong.
So how did I end up like this. You may be thinking I am a messed up teenager who did not know where to turn. No. I am almost 30. My first abortion was at 23. I have been with the same guy for both. ANd he wanted me to have both. "A woman's right to choice?" HA! I had NO choice. He did not want a kid. How do you force someone to be a father. We are not married. He is controling and manipulative. And clearly I am weak. I was not always like this. And if you me me, you would have not idea. I seem like a confident, strong businesswoman. But things are not as they seem. I am in an abusive relationship that has underminded my sense of self and sanity. I know I have to leave, but I cannot. If someone else told me all this earlier in my life, I would have thought they were crazy or something. I don't know how I ended up here and I don't know how to get out.
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april_richardson wrote:

Thank you for the comment... I would really appreciate some advice. Its been about 3 months now and still feel very stressed about the whole situation. I really feel the need to get pregnant again. I can't even watch tv anymore because of all the storylines surrounding the issue. Any advice atall would be excellent because I feel this il


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:(


Hey april, i feel the exact same way. This guy and I have been dating 4 a while now but we're not very serious. We stopped using protection and I got pregnant which I never thought would happen. I wanted 2 keep the baby I had names pickedout and everything. When I told him he talked me out of it but I always thought in the back of my head I want it. When I got 2 the abortion clinic I was too scared to leave it so scary and hard 2 do.when I was sitting there I didn't wanna go thru with it, but before I knew it the doctor gave me a shot and it was over. Now me and him r still hooking up and I just got an abortion a week ago. We have had unprotected sex twice after my abortion and I don't know if I am mad at myself for doing that or if a part of me wants 2 get pregant again because I regret it. I knw im stupid for having unprotected sex right after, but its hard 2 tell him no and I wanted 2 also.
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