Keeping Kids Safe From Sexual Predators - And Criminal Activity - On The Internet

Racy messages aren't an invention of the Internet age. Probably some nineteenth century lothario tried to invent the forerunner of sexting (sending a sexy message, or nude image, by cell phone) by telegraph. But the proliferation of social media sites today makes parental monitoring of their children's safety a daily task.

An astonishing number of parents and grandparents, however, aren't aware of the seriousness of the problem. Although the dangers of social media have become increasingly well-known as its popularity keeps rising, teenagers are surprisingly good at hiding important things from their parents. In some cases, teens you think are safe in their bedrooms are interacting with predators.

Ten Surprising Statistics About Sexting

Research sociologists in the United States have been collecting and publishing data regarding the relationships between sexually-oriented communications and sexual activity in American teens.

Here is part of what the experts have found:

• A survey of 763 teens by sociologists at Virginia Commonwealth University found that 44% had sent a nude or semi-nude photo of themselves to someone they had not met in person in the last month.

• Of the 44% that sent "sexts," 32% engaged in sexual intercourse for the first time with the recipient of the message.

• Many other youths send sexually explicit messages to their long-term sexual partners.

• A study at the University of Michigan found that 95% of sexts are two-way, and that only 2% of teens routinely send sexts without getting a response.

• In the University of Michigan study, 13% of teens receive sexts but don't respond to them (which suggests some teens send multiple sexts, often unsolicited, without getting any response).

• Sexters are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, but they do not have more sexual partners than non-sexters.

• Adolescents who have not yet begun to have sexual intercourse are more likely to report feeling uncomfortable when they are asked to send a sext.

• Hispanic females, of all ethnic groups surveyed, are the least likely to send sexually explicit photos of themselves.

• Adolescents are unlikely to use sexts as "leverage" to obtain sexual favors, for example, threatening to post photos online. Adult sexual predators who receive sexts from adolescents, however, are more likely to blackmail teens to receive sexual favors, such as actual sexual intercourse or disrobing on Skype.

• Sexting is not used as pornography, that is, as an alternative to "real world" sexual behavior. Sexting is a prelude to real world sexual behavior. It is modern-day foreplay, but sexting isn't always welcome.

Treatment of Sexting as Pornography

Even though teens may not intend sexting to be pornographic, most US states treat teen sexts as child pornography —and even children can be prosecuted for creating, transmitting, or possessing child pornography. A research team at the University of New Hampshire identified 3,417 cases of teens arrested for child pornography by 2,712 police departments in the USA in 2008 and 2009. In some cases, the images they sent were of themselves. In other cases, teens share sexts they received from others with their friends or on the internet.

Often teens are given an opportunity simply to erase illicit images, but thousands of teens have gone to jail for sexting. A criminal record for a sexual offense, of course, can ruin a young person's life, as can an encounter with a predator. It's possible for teens to get as much as 5 years in prison for receiving, storing, or sending a text, more if the offense is "aggravated," when the teen collaborates with an adult.

And, ironically, teens incarcerated for pornography are almost certain to encounter predators as a result. Congressman Ed Markey introduced a bill into the US Congress to provide federal guarantees that children 15 and under who send sexually explicit images be given an opportunity to erase them to avoid criminal charges in 2013. However, in 2023, each state has its own set of laws (or none at all). Concerned parents can view an up-to-date list of US sexting laws here.

Ten Things Parents Can Do To Keep Teens Out of Trouble with Sexting

The reality of teen life in the USA requires that parents do some Internet policing to keep their children out of trouble with adult internet predators, on the one hand, and aggressive law enforcement under child pornography laws, on the other. Here are 10 things parents can do to keep their teens out of trouble.

1. Insist on being included as a "friend" on all your child's Internet accounts.

If your child is on Facebook or Pinterest, you must be included as a friend notified of all posts.

2. Make sure your child understands that images on Snapchat don't necessarily disappear.

Many teens erroneously believe that a photo they send will erase itself after it has been viewed by the recipient. However, recipients of Snapchat photos actually have 10 seconds to download the image. Even in case where downloads are impossible, recipients may take screenshots.

3. Have a conversation with your teen about Instagram.

Problems with Instagram tend to pop up at parties. Many parents don't even know their children are on Instagram, until groups of teens start sending photos at parties.

4. Turn off wi-fi at night.

Many parents turn off wi-fi accounts at bedtime, so unsupervised social media posts are less likely to occur. Determined teens, of course, may simply hack the neighbor's wi-fi, so it doesn't hurt to ask your neighbors to make sure their systems are password protected.

5. Link your children's mobile devices to your iTunes account.

This way you are notified when they download social media programs.

6. Don't forget about devices you wouldn't expect could be used for social media.

Even a Kindle Fire or an iPod Touch can be used to access social media accounts such as Facebook and Kik.

7. Remember that restricting access to the Internet requires restricting access to cell phones.

Most adults don't use their cell phones for accessing the Internet. Almost all teens do.

8. Take appropriate action when Internet use is excessive.

The average teen accesses the Internet 150 times per day. Using the Internet to the exclusion of face to face social interaction, however, indicates a possible need for further investigation.

9. Remind your children that teen relationships usually don't last forever.

Many teens only sext with other teens for whom they have deep trust. When the inevitable breakup comes, however, sexts may be shared as an act of revenge. Even if teens are not inclined to listen, make sure they know that these kinds of angry actions can and do occur in teenage romances.

10. Establish media-free family meeting times.

Make sure you spend face time with your kids each and every day, with no cell phones (including yours) allowed to interrupt.