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I'm a single dad to a 14yo girl and a 13yo boy. For this I'll call them Zoe and lee! Their mother died when they were toddlers and I've been raising them by myself with no major bumps in the road... Until last month!! They have always been best pals. They study, hang out, watch movies ect together. One night I was struggling getting to sleep so I got up to grab a night cap. As I went downstairs the living room door was half open and the light was on. I thought I'd see what movie they were watching (normally horror movies on Netflix.) when I walked in what do I see?! There both naked on seperate sofas watching porn and masturbating! They were enjoying themselves so much they didn't even notice I was stood there. Then I made a mistake.... I said rather loudly "what the f*** are you two doing!". Zoe jumped up and ran out bursting into tears on the way. Lee just froze. I looked at him and knew he was petrified. I told him to get dressed and I'll be back in a min. I went into the kitchen and stood for a minute or so and decided not to go mad at them. I never had any siblings so didn't know if this was normal. Instead I thought I'd try to lighten the mood since the last thing I want so do is upset them even more than they already are. I took 2 beers out the fridge and walked back in to find lee sat with his face in his hands desperately trying not to cry! I sat next to him and nudged his arm. He wouldn't even lift his head. So I said "right you've been caught so I want you to be 100% honest with me....... You got any porn I can borrow!" He looked up immediately and if I'd have taken a picture of his face I'd be able to sell it for a million! I handed him a beer and told him to tell me what the score is. He told me they had been sharing these moments for about a year. It started when the discovered porn movies and they basically got turned on and masturbated in front of eachother for the first time. They have shared everything with eachother their whole lives and they didn't see why this shouldn't be one of them. I had to ask the awkward question which was how far had it progressed? And he said they had never even come close to touching eachother..... Thank god!! I told him that was the line.... And if they crossed it then we have a serious problem. I told him it's normal for kids to masturbate and that I don't mind him sharing the moments with his sister. Then the harder part came.... With lee it wasn't so bad because I've been a 13yo boy before.... But as far as I know I've never been a 14yo girl! I went up to her room and knocked on the door. She didn't answer me but I could hear her crying. I slowly opened the door and what I saw broke my heart. She was standing in the corner holding a picture of her mother to her face saying sorry. As I walked over to give her a hug she quickly turned her body round so her back was to me. I said "it's ok sweetheart" and she just fell to her knees and burst out crying. I picked her up, turned her round and gave her a massive hug. After about 2 mins of crying she said "I'm sorry dad". To which I replied "no I'm sorry for swearing at you". We sat on her bed and if told her that lee spilled the beans on everything. She actually looked relieved. Probably glad she didn't have to tell me everything herself. I told her about the line that's not to be crossed and she looked at me as if to say "ewwww dad that's sick!". So we both sort of chuckled. Then she told me she doesn't have anyone to talk to regarding sex, masturbation, curiosities ect. So I told her I'm always here if she wants to talk. Ideally she would have these conversations with her mother but unfortunatley she doesn't have that option. She'd only spoke about these things with her brother. I told her to come downstairs and she did without hesitation. I sat her next to lee and told them from now on, no more secrets and made them promise to talk to me about these things. They both agreed. We had a little family hug and I said goodnight..... As I walked out I shouted "you can finish now if you want!" They both just laughed. I'd love to know your thoughts and opinions on this. How would you have handled it? Would you go mad? Would you forbid it? Would you allow it? Have you shared these moments with siblings? Call me wrong, call me sick, call me a bad dad! My kids are happy so I'm happy.

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Hi James,

I think you handled it pretty well, at first.

End the porno sessions though.  Both your son and daughter need to understand that what they see on porn is not real.  

In some cultures it's common for family members to see each other naked.  Masturbation is different.  It's sex.  They may share everything but this is where the line needs to be drawn.  

Don't make it shameful, just tell them that if they want to masturbate that they should go into their own room.

You are the dad.  You need to set ground rules.  You aren't their "friend."  Be a parent.

Of course they can always come to you with any question, at any time.  Make sure they know that.  




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Thanks for the input.... How is masturbation sex?? To me sex is two or more people penetrating each other ect.
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If your children were masturbating, before puberty, without the porn, I'd agree. It isn't sex.

But, they were watching pornography and masturbating. Now it is a sex act. They're masturbating because they want to orgasm. They're physically stimulated and seeking sexual release.

Do you masturbate in front of them?

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
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Of course I don't. Wasn't saying your wrong, was asking a question. No need to get on the defensive now is there?
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Didn't mean to come across as defensive, more trying to answer the question and not appear judgemental.

I apologize, it was not my intent.
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I read this anout 15 minutes ago and still am speachless, in a good way. I could not praise you enough. You make a great dad to those kids. Hope everything goes well for you and them. Also, do not listen to other people about stopping the porn. Do at least tell them though that what happens in it is over exaggerated or even painful in stuff like anal and bdsm. Also make sure they do not get addicted to it like doing 3 or 4 times a day together. 1 or 2 times a day is the most, 2 times may even be to much. Once again though, good luck with those kids and you make a great father!
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I disagree with you on the porn.

There are studies that porn alters the brain. It does not show "love." Sex should be more than a mechanical act with cheap music in the background.. It is not "educational" either.
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6885 posts

Why did they have to watch porn? When I was that age I certainly didn't need porn to masturbate and if I'd had a sister who would do it with me I surely wouldn't have needed porn. We'd have been in our room doing it until our arms fell off. I think they were just being normal teens. All I had was other boys to exercise my elbow with, a girl would certainly have been welcome. A few years later I DID have a girl to do that with and we did it for hours at a time it was so much fun. I had a friend in high school who said his sister would do it while he watched and she would do him too.

I think it's great that they can masturbate while watching each other because that is a serious turn-on for when they are married.

I would not have been mad nor would I forbid it. Actually I would try to ease their discomfort after having been discovered.
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Yes, I know that. It is sometimes easier to see stuff then to try and visualize stuff. Even the 2 kids are a boy and a girl, people get tired of the same stuff over time like using each other for "arousal" (for lack of thinking of better word or phrase at time of writing this). I know I use it the same way, to just get something to get me turned on and after a while, I have to find different porn because the same stuff sort of doesn't work as much because I get sort of used to it. I can go back to old stuff again though after a while though.
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Hi everyone... James here!! Thanks for everyone's views and opinions. Medic dan.... I can't stop them watching porn. I have a job and can't police them 24/7. Even if I snoop around and take it they will just as easily replace it. Anybody can get porn... All you need is a phone! I've asked my son if it still happens since I caught them. He said (and I believe him) they've done it twice since. It's not a regular thing, it just happens now and then. My daughter is now much more open and honest with me about everything that's on her mind as she agreed and I couldn't be happier. Thanks for all the kind words aswell.
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What's wrong with masturbating together. Let them do it.
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I couldn't tell if that was real or not, are you a writer?
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you handled it well. Pls do not shout at them the shock of that is worse. Masturbation is normal growing up and beyond. Do talk to them but be calm and more a friend than an austere parent. Best wishes
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Question: Did you check what type of porn they were watching? And what would you have done if they had been using toys?

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