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Hi James,
I think you handled it pretty well, at first.
End the porno sessions though. Both your son and daughter need to understand that what they see on porn is not real.
In some cultures it's common for family members to see each other naked. Masturbation is different. It's sex. They may share everything but this is where the line needs to be drawn.
Don't make it shameful, just tell them that if they want to masturbate that they should go into their own room.
You are the dad. You need to set ground rules. You aren't their "friend." Be a parent.
Of course they can always come to you with any question, at any time. Make sure they know that.
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If your children were masturbating, before puberty, without the porn, I'd agree. It isn't sex.
But, they were watching pornography and masturbating. Now it is a sex act. They're masturbating because they want to orgasm. They're physically stimulated and seeking sexual release.
Do you masturbate in front of them?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
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Didn't mean to come across as defensive, more trying to answer the question and not appear judgemental.
I apologize, it was not my intent.
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I disagree with you on the porn.
There are studies that porn alters the brain. It does not show "love." Sex should be more than a mechanical act with cheap music in the background.. It is not "educational" either.
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Why did they have to watch porn? When I was that age I certainly didn't need porn to masturbate and if I'd had a sister who would do it with me I surely wouldn't have needed porn. We'd have been in our room doing it until our arms fell off. I think they were just being normal teens. All I had was other boys to exercise my elbow with, a girl would certainly have been welcome. A few years later I DID have a girl to do that with and we did it for hours at a time it was so much fun. I had a friend in high school who said his sister would do it while he watched and she would do him too.
I think it's great that they can masturbate while watching each other because that is a serious turn-on for when they are married.
I would not have been mad nor would I forbid it. Actually I would try to ease their discomfort after having been discovered.
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Question: Did you check what type of porn they were watching? And what would you have done if they had been using toys?
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