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So I waited to have sex until I was in love - and I met the girl a few months ago and we have been dating ever since. However, I have been having problems getting erections with her - first it started with oral sex and it took me three separate occasions before I could get a full blown erection. For the last several weeks we have been trying to have sex and I can get hard but as soon as I move to put the condom on I lose the erection and I have a very difficult time getting up again. This is to the point where we full around trying to get me erect and I ejaculate before I am fully hard.

I just had a full check-up with my doctor and besides having high cholesterol i am great health. He seemed to suggests that my body just needs conditioning - but I am not sure if just that will help.

Do you guys have any advice for me?

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firstly put the condom on first apart from that i cant help i have the absolute oposite of you problem sorry :-(
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Hi

I have exactly the same problem. But it is a little different when it comes to watching porn. I used to masterbate everyday while watching porn so if I watch porn I can stay pretty long and hard and have a lot of precums. But when I try to have sex with someone I am having hard time to have erection and ejeculate prematurely. Sometimes it is soft and still ejeculate.
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I think the two of you (jd2008 & Guest) are having the same problem: putting too much of the focus on you and your erectile status.

Try making love to your girlfriends without even taking your pants off. Make her the center of attention for a change. See if you can bring her to orgasm orally and/or manually. If your manhood rises to the occasion, and she's desperately trying to get your pants down, then go for it. If not, stay the course, and when you're finished, and you've worn her out, just tell her you wanted to see if you could do it.

Next time try doing the same thing with your clothes off. Don't even think about penetration unless you get a raging hard-on, but pleasure her and let her pleasure you in every way possible. There are lots of other ways. Get creative.

What I'm trying to say is, there are lots of ways to have sex without a hard-on. Look at two lesbians: not a penis between them (unless they have a dlido, and that's an option for you too), and they can have a wonderful time. Just go ahead and make love without your uncooperative tallywhacker. Sooner or later he's going to feel left out and demand a share of the action.
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Gee, that site is a regular ad-fest. Do they give you some kind of compensation for getting people to click on that link or what?

The interesting thing about buying Cialis or Viagra on the web is that it's all fake. You can't get the real medications without a prescription.

Most of the stuff you get on the web is just harmless placebos--so if it seems to work for you, your problem was all in your head, as most erectile problems are--but some of it contains all kinds of weird, unstandardized herbal extracts and toxic preservatives that can put you in the hospital. When you show up in the ER, they're going to ask you what you took, so don't tell them it was Cialis or Viagra or whatever they represented it as when you bought it, because if it was, you wouldn't be lying there. Just tell them it was some c**p you bought on the internet, and you have no idea what was in it. That way they'll wait for the tox screen to come back before they give you something that could make the problem worse.
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Hey - this might help you figure it out a little. A little...!

IF you CAN get an erection from pornography or fantasies easily, then your body works just fine. You can relax about that part - you probably don't need Cialis or Viagra or anything.

But if you lose erection or stay soft when WITH your partner, it is a mental issue. This could be anything - you don't trust them deep down, you have childhood issues to work out (you may not even know this yet), you have a lack of physical desire/connection to your partner (you like them in your head, but not physically). It's a GREAT idea to talk to a therapist if your problem is a mental one. Guess what? This stuff happens all the time to many, many people. And there are answers to help you fix it.... Go for it!
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Hi, I need some advise concerning my bf. We have been having problems during sex from time to time and it has been bothering me a lot. He has trouble keeping his erection sometimes. This is where it bothers me, sometimes it works and then other times its like once we have sex and its pretty much the positions such as him or I on top, he goes soft. So I talked to him about this in a calm manner and he said that it didnt have anything to do with me. He said that he is very attracted to me but it just happens sometimes. It has happened with only a few girls not all of his previous partners. I also noticed that in certian positions he never goes soft. Why. He is going to go see a doctor but as I was thinking it cant be ED because he has no problem with an erection on his own or in the morning, he is always hard. I wondered if maybe he just is not attracted to me or maybe he is gay. I already tried to talk to him about that and of course he got mad and said he is not. I am just trying to let him know that if he is he could tell me. Help... I dont know what to think.
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To the nice lady above.

Whatever I will tell you is from personal experience. I am male.

He needs better scenarios. Since I had many sexual encounters in my life I really find it difficult to get erections with a female if she doesn't turn me up. I might really like her, get turned on when I think of her but sometimes she can't get me up. I am not homosexual, I am certain of that, when ever I see homosexual things I get a feeling of puke and if watch porno and the guy actor stays in screen for too much my tool goes soft. (please excuse my expression this is not my native language). When my lady goes with tricks, like being difficult or other, I get turbo. This is a problem with inteligent people, we need good scenario or we lose emotions and afterwards our errections. Please, never ever ask again your husband/boyfriend/soulmate etc. if he is gay. it would be very easy for him to be gay, but he if was he wouldn't be with you but with a guy. When you ask him this it is a MAJOR turn-off for him. We are talking for big damage. He will try to have errections to prove you his manhood and because of doing that he will be losing his emotions and eventually his errections. And this will continue and continue until he will get dissapointed with you. Don't do that. Since you did asked him this is what you can do now: Feed his mascularity, make him believe that you understand that YOU (never say the words "I UNDERSTAND") need to be more sexual with him (don't get insulted, you can be a super beautiful woman, but everyone who have seen really beautiful women in porno or real life still need better sexual scenarios). Fill up his ego, be more immoral, be patient, attack him sexually but carefully (don't step in places that hurt), get in a type of ecstasy with him. If you play this and leave your acting (feel it deep), you will enjoy a beast coming out of him (my experience comes from the fact that I was the beast in my situation). I really had to philosophy a lot and really find ways to transfer this to my girlfriend. IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOUR GUY TO TELL YOU / ADMIT YOU THESE FACTS!!

Be well.
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Excellent advice - agree that whatever happens you won't have penetrative sex - that will take the pressure off to perform. Then enjoy each others bodies - bringing each other to orgasm with your hands and mouths. A nice sexual massage is always good - remember to agree that you will not have penetrative sex no matter how hard you get so that the pressure is removed.
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I feel in the same position as those two. I was even a few years older when I lost my virginity. I have found a woman who makes me happier than I have ever been in my life. While she has 1, 2, 3, or more orgasms, I can barely get a hard on. I manually and orally get her off while sometimes I'm just laying there limp as a noodle. After having sex 3-4 times, I still haven't climaxed and really only had penetration twice.

It's really starting to get into her head and obviously its in mine. She is a gorgeous woman so it has nothing to do with physical attraction and I am able to masturbate without a problem. I've even tried going a week or more without doing anything to try and build up some desire/tension/whatever. But nothing seems to work and each time we have sex, or try to, and it doesn't happen it just makes the problem worse. Its got me to the point that I'm ready to do some drastic things that I don't even want to talk about here.
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I am gonna go in a different direction than most of the advice I read. They all seem to act like you are not getting stimulated, but I think that it is more of a performance anxiety factor. I mean you get it up, and right when you are about to start, bam nothing. Just the fact that you get hard means that she is appealing to you, and you are stimulated. You said that you waited until you were in love to have sex. I think that maybe you are wanting to make love, and tear it up at the same time. I think that the anxiety comes from the fact that you love her and want to be romantic, but you also want to show her what you've got. And I think that it is just a little too much, and it is causing you to not perform. Maybe you need to take a xanax to relax and see what happens. Now I dont mean take a handful, just one to ease the pressure. Then, just relax and show her who her daddy is
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i kinda have the same problem with my boyfriend im 17 & my boyfriends 24 . . we've been dating for 3months & started having sex around the 2nd month . . everytime we've had sex i would start of by giving him oral & then go from there . . now ive only had 1 other partren other then him & im still very tight so it hurts when he go's in . . the thing is when he go's in he completly hard but after awhile of trying to get it fully in he gets soft . . . i think its just because he's unattractive to me but he says its not that . . he said its because of the fact that im tight & i get nervouse & tighten my legs up that gives him the problem . . & that he just loses its . . but that's only in missionary . . if my boyfriend has me in doggy style he can maintain a hard on . .

i just don't know what to do i try to losen up but it just hurts to much . . i need help . . what can i do to make it more comfortable for him & me ?
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try widening ur vagina at home using dildos or vibrators use special lubricants to ease the pain, or let him use some while ur in intercourse
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I have the most fantastic boyfriend, he loves me and I love him, hes all I ever hoped for but we have no sex life and I'm really worried we are going to be unable to have a relationship without this. We've only been together a short time and are both young but have had no period of lust and already I feel more like friends. He can't maintain an erection,although he can masterbate and has in previous relationships been able to. He has never ejaculated with any partner ever, although can on his own. Its on my mind all the time and I no longer have any desire to try and have sex as it just doesn't happen, he feels awful and I feel useless and unattractive. I don't want to even try until its all sorted out, he has seen a doctor but I don't know if not trying is the right thing to do as I have no idea how long it will take to fix. Has anyone had this problem and am I overreacting?
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i dont even know y im on this page..for the past 2 yrs ive had an amazing sex life...beyond words and now i'm in serius relationship with a guy ive fallen in love for, and he just cant seem to get a hard on

and its driving me insane...i want to be with him, but all the naughty things ive imagined doing with him has suddenly left me..i dont even feel like huggin him anymore..its not about turning him on or gettin him hard..cos he does
but as soon as he is hard and puts it in he goes soft, and then cums extremely prematurely..

we've stopped trying for a while and focused on other things, but today we got a bit out of control and we were so turned on tht we tried, but when he culdnt maintain it i sat there n cried


help?!
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