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Hi,
My boyfriend and I have just started having intercourse, however whenever we start fooling about he never manages to keep a boner. He is easily aroused, and he nearly immediately gets one, however after a couple of minutes it goes down and is impossible to get back up. I used to think because he was nervous that someone might walk it, however the weekend that just passed, we had the house to ourselves, and still it was hard for him to keep it up. I try to pretend that I havent noticed, because i dont want to hurt his self esteem, but after a while i just give up, and also start losing my confidence. We've spoken about it many times, and i know i turn him on, because he;s told me, but still, it kind of brings me down. He doesnt drink, except for that occasional drink when we go out, and he doesnt do drugs. Even during foreplay when it goes down, i ask him, if im doing it right, and he says i am. Sometimes he would be so eager to put up his self confidence that he tries to put it while being partly soft which obviously since it wont go in brings him even more down. Also one time, i realised that while intercourse itself it had gone down, im not sure if he realised because i didnt want to bring it up just in case. This for sure cant be a good sign. We try many different things, mostly the ones which he enjoys, and we are a very close couple, so there is always the cuddling part after and we are confident with each other so it cant be anxiety, at least i dont think so. It doesnt happen every time we start fooling about but it happens regularly. He said that he wants to go visit a doctor, but never got around to it, and I dont want to pressure him into visiting one, just in case it makes him feel worse.
Any suggestions?
Thanks =)

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Yeah, I had a thought... how often is he masturbating?

Don't tell me that he is not. All men do.

So, when he masturbates, does he loose his erection, or is he able to complete?

I'm betting that it's just been to close to his last climax and that he hasn't recovered yet.

Depending on how old he is, and how long this has been going on, a visit to a doctor might be in order.

The other thing is to tell him to hold off on ALL sex for a week...two if necessary, and then see just how firm he gets when you give him the green light again.


It's good that you're supportive, but you are also wise to not harp on it if OCCASSIONALLY he is less than firm, or chooses not to climax. ALL men have times when he won't come or won't want to complete.

Good luck.
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I don't think its the masturbation thing cuz i have the same problem. if i go along time w/o masturbating sometimes its almost impossible to keep up. i cant do one nighters with girls because i cant stay hard and its awkward. i would suggest asking him wat position he masturbates in, like sitting or laying on his back, and try that, maybe use ky or a blowjob? i know how it is though. frustrating hardly describes it
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Its because of porn , i bet he watch it regularly , and so do i , lol
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Porn addiction can result in erection problems. In the event that he jacks off and away to porn often, he's training his mind to become aroused if you watch sex, but that does not translate to when he is having sex. Erection issues are common nowadays. Try consuming anti-impotence pills. They are really best to treat your erection problems.

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