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I am 16 years old and I have recently started talking to a 17 year old girl who has more experience with sexual experiences. 2 out of the 3 times we've hung out to do sexual stuff, I couldn't get hard. The last time I was at her house alone with her and we were both completely naked and she was on top of me. She tried so hard to get me hard by making out with me, moaning, giving me hand jobs, blow jobs, etc. I even fingered her but I still could not get remotely hard. I got semi during the blow job and I could have came if she kept going. I don't understand how I could cum without having a full erection. I'm not sure what my problem is. I did masturbate the day before but I honestly don't think that would be a problem because I had a whole day to get back on track before we hung out. I'm just scared I might actually have something wrong with me & I'm really embarrassed that I can't get hard. She feels like it's her fault & it's ruining our relationship. Please if anyone could give me the slightest advice it would be much appreciated. I want to make seeing a doctor a last priority so please save those comments. Thank you so much.

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Hi Beemin,

Unconsciously, you might be very nervous.  You said she is more "experienced" so you don't want to disappoint her.  Nervousness, or anxiety, can kill an erection.

It's very common not to be able to get hard the first time, even the first couple of times.  

Don't focus on the past.  You need to put this behind you so it does not become a problem.  The next time you are together focus on her and not so much on yourself.  If you aren't hard, work on her.  Talk to her about it.  

You will get over this.  It just takes time.

Use some protection.  It can help your "relax" quite a bit knowing that pregnancy isn't likely.

Hang in there, good luck.

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She is one year older then you, and she have more experienc. Are you unsure because of this? Our penises isn't a machine we can turn on and off. Uncertainty and being afraid for not get erection, can give a man so much pressure that it will not be erect. You can masturbate, so it is nothing wrong with your penis. Maybe you feel that you must do everything perfect,show her that you are a good lover, but the first sex is rare perfect. It's only by try and fail that makes us better. So when you are having sex again,don't be so "obsessed" of having a hard from the start. Use time, relax together and talk about it, and before you know it, it is ready to be used. . Are you

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