With great shock and despair we got to know our 5 year old son has been raped repeatedly at the day care by a 9 year old boy. He had begun telling us that he didn't like going to the day care and mentioned he didn't like a particular boy. When asked for reasons, he cited some minor issues, so we didn't take it seriously until finally he mentioned it recently.
What we are wondering is how is this likely to affect his character. He is upset only when talking of this rapist. Otherwise he seems to be the usual cheerful child that he is. In fact, his teachers at Kindergarten praise him for his level of confidence. Even at the day care, they would always remark abouted his resilience and ability to stand up for himself. That's why we were complacent and never imagined something like this could happen.
He still seems that way.
Well the best thing you can do is let your son open up when he is ready! Your son seems very strong for is age to (get) over a situation like this.....Don't push him!
Also, as a parent you should talk more to him about self defense. Screaming, kicking, and running is OKAY! I'm 13 and want kids to engage in healthy activities that make them strong, and aware of their surroundings. Karate for instance. When I was 6 I was almost taken off a beach by kidnappers, when my aunt accidentally left me . I was helpless. I was coaxed by them, and eventually found my self sitting on their laps. I was saved in the end, but in all over the years, I have learned to use many things to defend myself.
about his character.... I think it will make him stronger. Of course he will be somewhat uncomfortable around older boys and adults, but think about how young he is. 5. Young , but forgetful. At 13 he probably wont remember it. knowing that bad things really do happen will make him more street smart, too. As parents always make him feel comfortable! be happy and his attitude will follow yours!
First things first is i'd recommend reporting that day care center immediately. Something like that happening multiple times without anyone seeing anything?! Something needs to be done, not just for your own childs sake but for others also.
This is a rather difficult area. Children tend to be rather resilient and its encouraging that its commented that your child is confident etc. It could however have a longer term effect it its rather difficult to know what to suggest. It's hard to say if it will make him 'stronger' or not. Its far too early to tell, and rape is rarely associated with positive change, but seeing as he's so young... well... He might get through it ok. When he is older he may start to understand what happened to him and it may become more of an issue. Its a very tricky area.
Be supportive and be gentle. As said, let him do it in his own time since forcing the issue may confuse or upset him.
As said already... good luck.