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Hi, I would like to talk to you about my sister and her son. I believe that their relationship is not normal. Her son is ten years old and he still sleeps with his mother. I have tried talking to my sister about it, but she says that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. Are there some scientific facts I can face my sister with that will show her that ten year old boys should not sleep with their mothers?

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Hi, I must disappoint you and tell you that there aren't any conclusive facts that show that children who sleep with their parents feel consequences of this action. That is, if a child wants to sleep with the parent on his or her own. But, if a parent is forcing a child to sleep in the same bed, that is a different story and these children have problems later on in life. In these situations parents are taken care of and the children are care givers. This way children grow up earlier and lose a part of their childhood. If this is not your sister's case, you have nothing to worry about. In fact, some scientists say that children who sleep with their parents have stronger family ties and at the same time are more independent. Children usually decide on their own when it is time to stop sleeping in their parent's bed. I am sure that your nephew will decide to stop sleeping with his mother soon enough.
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I am a single mother of a son (12), just the two of us! He has been sleeing
with me, even at this age from time to time! When he has a nightmare etc.
I don't see any problem with that, even if I know that he have started to mastrubat lately, every mother knew or should know when.
This, I belive is the way human lust for love has been for millj. years!!??
Even at young age as (7 to 8) his penis got stiff when I bathed him and cleened him under his foreskin. Belive also it "tickeled" a little when I used
lots of shampo. I also belive that he will be better prepered to take good care of his girlfriend when that time comes. (Not just bang-bomb sprut)!?
I was more and less raped by his father 13 years ago this way.
Loving Mother
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Health Ace
6880 posts
Bang bomb sprut? That sounds like a description of a circumcised man having sex.

It sounds like a wonderfully close and loving relationship that Loving Mother and Motherly Love have with their sons.
Are either of you still cleaning your son's penis? If he doesn't object, that seems like a very caring thing to do for him.

I think it would have been wonderful to have had such a warm, loving, close and open relationship with my mother.
My mother took very good care of my penis from birth to some point in time when she decided I was old enough to do the cleaning myself. There was never anything sexual about it from my point of view and I missed the closeness of having her bathe me when she stopped. That was somewhere around the age of 6, I believe. A cousin showed me how to masturbate when I was 10 and it had been several years by that time since my mother had seen me naked. I don't remember getting an erection when she retracted my foreskin to clean my penis.

Motherly Love, you say you caught him spying on you. If you are still bathing him and cleaning his penis, I'm surprised he has to spy on you to see you without clothes. You said the first woman a boy sees naked (I hate that word because it makes it sound dirty) is his mother. When or why did you begin hiding from him?

I grew up feeling there was a very one sidedness applied to boys. At home it was always OK for girls to see me in my underpants and girls could always give male babies a bath but it was NEVER OK for me to see a girl in her underwear or give a girl baby a bath. Most of the boys I knew spent their younger years trying desperately to get a look at any naked girl. I believe that was a result of being treated that way when we were growing up and may be responsible for some rapes.

Where I grew up there were no boys my age in the neighborhood for me to play with, only girls, so I had a slightly different experience regardless of how hard my mother tried to keep me ignorant of the female anatomy. One time whe I was about 7, I was playing with the two neighbor girls when one of them said her older brother said that girls have two biscuits and boys have a bat and two balls. Well, they both wanted to see what he meant and I was outnumbered, but they agreed to show me their biscuits in return.

That led to several years of being quite open with each other. They were intrigued with the skin they could push back to reveal what was hidden inside, and those two things they felt inside the sac. They also got a kick out of the way it would stand up all by itself when they pushed back the foreskin. When they had a girl friend or girl cousin visiting they always wanted to let her in on what they found and I certainly didn't mind the attention. I liked investigating their biscuits to see and touch what was in there, and they liked to have me do it. Sometimes the visiting girl even wanted to join in the fun. I think we all learned to be more touchy feely and to be gentle about it. I didn't spend my adolescent life trying to get a girl naked because I already knew what was in there. We never got traumatized by getting caught by any adults and we stopped doing it after a while all by ourselves. Long before I learned what an erection was and before I learned to masturbate, so it wasn't really sexual it was just exploration.
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Do you think she is molesting her child??? If not......then leave them ALONE!!

By the way...she DID carry him in her own body at one time. What is the deal with people thinking that a parent and child shouldn't be close enough to SLEEP together!! Is she alone with him at any other time than just bedtime? If so, then

gee she could be molesting him then, it doesn't have to be in the bed at BEDTIME!! Our culture has some really sick minds!!

And SHE is right.......there is NOTHING wrong with them SLEEPING in the same bed!!! GEEZ!!!

People need to mind their own business!!!

I am glad she LOVES her child. So many people mistreat their children! I say WAY TO GO for your sister! :)
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Ok I think People , I think you all are just missing the point or am I ?

you all got me a thinking I was born in 1967. I Have ADD, Adhd, LD, Abandendment isues,
I had realy bad iner ear infections , bowel probems . I was a special needs child .


I was adopted by my mom and dad in 1974 , and raised I don't know I gess normialy

Dad worked nights , Me and mom slept at night , from the age of 6 Mom cept a close eye on every thing I was doing

she Bathed me ,feel me , banadged me up when I got hurt, I had seziorz when I was age 7-14

I had bad nightmares when I was young , (when) I was punished ( By spanking ) I was eather undressed or I undresssed my self and a hair brushed used to my back side or when I got older I was made to bend over and grab my ancles, or if I was fighting my punishment mom would make me lay on my back and she would give me about 12 wacks with the paddle .


I remember after a bath mom would reward my good behavior of the day by a head to toe massage with baby oil , unfortanly this was not as offen as I would have liked ( good behavior only )LOL, when I had the realy bad ear akes I remember lieing in bed with mom and a heating pad at my ear. Mom is now 62 and she can get around I have moved back in with her Dad died last year of a brain toumor, age 56. Iam now a firefighter,EMT all the catholic schools told mom to take me home and let me live out the rest of my life .


Mom home schooled me and punished me when I failed to try .Mom has seen me naked more times , Mom saw ne nude as many times as clothed from the age of 6-18 I was in and out of the hospital and operated on , I gess what I telling you all / asking is this all pearents are differnt , the way I was raised would have goten mom and dad in to trouble now , but back when I was growing up thay did the best thay could I remember mom saying to me t hat if you cant act like a young man then you wont be treated like one .

I was 12 and never kept my room clean , mom finaly got mad and said if you dont start cleaning you room youll lose all your privages

I spent the next two weeks naked, in my room

came in and took out all my dirty clothing on the floor mom and dad took out my furniture I got a pellow two sheets and was told that bath time I was to undress give my clothing t mom and take my bath and in the morrining I was given a new set after i foldedup my sheets from the night before .I to this day keep my room like martha stewert catalog LOl

Mom gave me enemas untill i was 14 I still have probems to day. The point is no one told my mom and dad how to rase me and every one had anopion No facts but an opion, mom rassed me I don't likeeverything she did some times it was for her convenionce and others it was just what she thought was wright . ( ) so the answer I going to give for the questions above is persent her with facts with your opion s . I sleept with mom off and on , hell some times nude after a bath mom would rub my back untill i fell asleep and she sometimes carred me back in to my room some times not . are you afraid somthing going on ? I had a hyposaidas mom used to inspect me or rub my blader to help me . I remember the pinfull blader infections .( I senced had surgry a to correct and after the 3rd one I ok now .
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how old were you when your mom stopped bathing you and giving you nude messages? you seemed to been pretty intimate with your mother. and that makes me wonder about the enemas until you were 14. by that age you've hit puberty and should be pretty independent. did you like this kind of phsyical contact because theres no way at 14 you could be given a forced enema, even as a "special needs child" which i think you weren't. those enemas seemed to be a excuse for your mother to sexually penetrate you.
why would be naked in your room for 2 weeks? how could you be so manipulated by your parents. If this is a real story its quite dark. and if i was you i would have ***** your mother for this humilination.
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Sorry to say that sleeping with a boy when he is aroun puberty age is detrimental to the child. He will sexualize the relationship with his mother and feel sever guilt about it. It is very unhealthy and any one of these hippy love child mommies who tells you it is normal is insane. There must be boundries and they must be set by the parent. Tell your sister she is hurting her child, because she most certainly is. Anyone who thinks that a preteen boy sleeping with their mommy is going to help them be independent is an id**t. And to the woman who enjoys tickling her son's Penis with shampoo so he will better be able to satisfy a woman in the future...you should be in jail.
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I am a doctor.. MD. not PHD... so my scope is more medical than psychological. I am a son of a single mother and I slept in my mother's bed until I was 12.. i was independent with hygiene and my mother rarely saw me nude until i was an adult and had major orthopedic surgery and i was forced to let her care for my hygienic needs.. including wiping my butt and washing me all over. it was not fun at all. i never understood why I slept in my mother's bed growing up, until I asked her. Where we used to live there drive by shootings and my bedroom was at the front of the house and hers was in the back. i still sleep in my mother's bed when i go to visit and my infant daughter sleeps between us.. the point is, as humans we have an inerrant need for human interaction.. it doesn't need to be sexual in nature. sometimes we just want to be near someone.. this mother needs to get a man (or woman) to fulfill this need for interaction even if it isn't sexual.. please don't be quick to judge people.. in several cultures there are as many as 15 people sleeping in the same room and several in the same bed.. not everything should be taboo..
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Well, the way I see it if u do everything for a kid you are basically crippling them. They need to learn how to do things on their own whether it be tie their shoe or clean their penis. My cousin still sleeps with his mom at the age of 12 and he is the most useless disrespectful little kid you could ever meet. It doesn't build any bonds it's just weird. Boys will some day grow to be men and men who cannot take care of themselves are pretty much screwed in life
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I have to say, doc, that with your medical degree, you should know how to spell "inherent", or was "inerrant" a Freudian slip. Further more, you should know that sleeping with your mom was more of her psychological need than yours. You should have been in your own bed, not because there are any sexual connotations to your unhealthy relationship with your mother, but because of unhealthy co-dependent issues that ultimately develop in life. People in other cultures sleep in the same room and same bed because they don't have the economic privilege that we in North America do. Sleeping with your mother now, with your infant daughter, is totally bizarre. You need counselling before your daughter grows up to have the same deep seated psychological problems that you do.
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I just don't get it, not at all. My fiance has two kids, ages 8 and 10. he has them over our house every other weekend and his son has to have his dad lay in bed with him at least until he falls asleep. This is going to sound real insensitive but....we live in really nice townhouse and our BR is only across the hall? What could 10 yr old son be afraid of? Also, guess I'm feeeling resentment and selfish which I am ashamed of but I hate the fact my fiance has to do this because he's an awesome dad, but it's taking some time away from us. I keep trying to tell myself to get over it and I don't want 10 yr old son to feel uncomfortable or see me as the mean stepmom because I really don't want that. Guess what I am getting at, can someone explain to me why some kids need to sleep with thier parents?? Idk if this has any bearing on anything, but my two girls are older, ages 16 and 21. Maybe I've been out of it for too long?? Help please!
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Wow! There are some really misguided views on mother/child interaction when it comes to sleeping in the same bed! 10 y/o would be the absolute latest a child should be sleeping with any parent, for any reason! For the few mothers who replied that its ok, and to leave them alone, etc.. are totally wrong and need to realize that they are ultimately harming their own children! Furthermore, after reading their posts... they are the last people who's advice should be given or taken!
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Holy c**p! Why the hell can MOTHERS do what the hell they want by sleeping with their sons EVEN near purberty and yet, you double standard selfish women; IF we as fathers did this with a daughter at even 7 years old we'd be hauled in for potential pedophilia!!! Women today are so egocentric as if they are God in so many different areas deciding what they will do with their bodies as in when or if they will have a baby because "IT IS MY BODY" while totally ignoring the seed that also started the pregnancy. All of this new age feminism where so much control is in their hands will be reckoned with down the road and in fact, it is already happening. Young men are no longer like the real men of the past that faught wars to protect their country, women and children. I would not do this NOW knowing what I now know about the real interior of so many women who are self-serving. Leave you sons out of your beds! You don't even have enough respect or love for a man and yet, once they are often forced from their home too YOU THEN SUBSTITUTE YOUR SON TO SLEEP WITH YOU! This mind perversion just as lesbianism and gay marriage is too at least according to the real God BUT, oh yes, you women are now God aren't you now?! I am "real" and you are not being true thus real so get a grip. I am not talking about 1 to 4 year olds and don't give me this c**p that other cultures do this out of necessity. You are doing this because you can only sleep with a man IF he has money and hopefully position in the workplace too to provide NOT LOVE but things. Well, you have managed to take over this NATURAL domain of men too outisde the home so to you middle aged ladies all over North America who are empty nested withut a man and now look for your sons as a delusional Cougar, you reaped what you sewed.
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Kids will stop sleeping with their parents when they feel ready, Once your nephew is a teenager he will start to pull away from his mother and will decide that he does not want to sleep with her any longer on his own. It is probably just a comfort thing. My cousin slept in her parents bed until she was 12 and than she started to sleep in her own room, she does not have weird issues and has not sexualized the relationship with her parents. They actually tried to get her out of their room when she was 10 and she became very resistant so they just left it until she was ready. I know this is hard for people that have kept their children in a separate room since they were born but actually a lot of different people and cultures have children sleep in the same bed as them until they get to a point where they are ready to leave. So unless she is forcing him to sleep in her bed or he doesn't have a bed available to him or something I think you need to just stay out of the whole thing.
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