A woman's sex-drive/libido in her 40's - does it go down or can it stay up?

The lack of lubrication is obviously noticeable, but love is deeper than 'juice'! It didn't put me off. Bodies change as they age; it's another 'fact of life'. Whatever changes take place in the body, love finds a way. Men's bodies change too, and some have erectile or orgasmic dysfunction. Bodies as they age are less supple. You just have to adjust. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" is a situation easier to accommodate than vice-versa.

It depends on the strength of the relationship and their desire to satisfy each other. It also depends on the love language needs of each, and the recognition of those needs.

That was beautiful Shepherd! I really like that what you said about "love finds a way" and a couple just having to adjust. I hope this is not seeming to press the same question as before, how far do you think a man who loves his wife can adjust? In a worst case scenario where she has lost her ability to get sexually excited and orgasm, what does a man need to feel sexually satisfied? Would just kissing, cuddling, caressing and she masturbates him to orgasm/ejaculation from time to time [no sexual penetration between them] - do you think that could be sufficient for a man to feel sexually satisfied?

"I hope this is not seeming to press the same question as before" I didn't notice the previous post as I was not notified of it!

"how far do you think a man who loves his wife can adjust?" As long as the adjustment is really necessary, then it could be as far as practically possible. Remember that wives have to adjust too.

"In a worst case scenario where she has lost her ability to get sexually excited and orgasm" That is not the worst case scenario. She may be incapacitated by (say) a stroke. However I think that, apart from illness or disease, the lost ability can often be regained as very often it is a mental issue rather than a physical one. Sexual excitement is a more a mental/emotional response rather than just a physical one. Orgasm is a different matter, although it is still very much related to the mental aspect. As I said before, your brain is your biggest sex organ. If it seems that the ability is lost I think love demands that effort should be made to find it again. Libido and ability are really different.

Have you read the link on here? :- https://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Top_Reasons_for_Low_Libido__Sex_Drive_Killers_a1147.html

"what does a man need to feel sexually satisfied?" should be different from the issue of "her ability to get sexually excited and orgasm". She should still do her utmost to satisfy him even if she has reduced orgasmic ability. The same should apply vice-versa. If a man has lost the ability to have or maintain an erection or ejaculate, or his libido has reduced, he should still do his utmost to satisfy his wife. What is needed to be sexually satisfied varied from person to person.

"Would just kissing, cuddling, caressing and she masturbates him to orgasm/ejaculation from time to time [no sexual penetration between them] ... be sufficient for a man to feel sexually satisfied?" That depends on the man, but why should penetration be stopped. A man needs sexual excitement to achieve an erection to be able to achieve penetration. A woman doesn't. With sufficient lubrication applied, penetration can usually be easily achieved. On the other hand a man who can no longer ejaculate means that the wife does not gain the benefit of receiving his ejaculate. If she can engage in "kissing, cuddling, caressing and she masturbates him to orgasm/ejaculation from time to time", why can't she have intercourse? I think that if a wife refuses to have intercourse (without very good reason), then she is not fulfilling her obligations as a wife. Likewise if a husband refuses to have intercourse (without very good reason), then he is not fulfilling his obligations as a husband. It may be that the husband needs release every day, but she would find discomfort (perhaps cystitis) with intercourse daily, but can have it every other day, then the "kissing, cuddling, caressing and she masturbates him to orgasm/ejaculation" would be a good way to accommodate the physical limitations.

I hope this helps as a start.

Shepherd, many thanks for your comprehensive answers. It really helped me to see it from a man's perspective. You mentioned "on the other hand a man who can no longer ejaculate means that the wife does not gain the benefit of receiving his ejaculate". Maybe this is obvious, but I had thought the main benefit for a woman of receiving a man's ejaculate was his sperm if she wanted to have children. For a woman in her 50s who has already had children or is no longer fertile or likely to become pregnant, what would this benefit be? Sorry if this is something obvious, and I'm ready to be open to something that had never come to mind before.
In the last line where you mentioned if there was a woman with cystitis, I'm not sure if I understood the solution you suggested. It was to have intercourse every other day alternating with days when a wife masturbated her husband, rather than daily intercourse? Did I understand that correctly?

"a woman of receiving a man's ejaculate ... what would this benefit be?"
There are reckoned to be several benefits of semen (although it doesn't have to be received through intercourse alone).
Some research has suggested that some of the beneficial ingredients of semen include testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, opiod peptides, oxytocin, serotonin, melatonin, and norepineprine. (All that without having to go to the pharmacist!).
Apparently semen contains: Fructose, ascorbic acid, zinc, cholesterol, protein, calcium, chlorine, blood group antigens, citric acid, DNA, Magnesium, vitamin B12, phosphorus, sodium, potassium, uric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, and other nutrients as well as water.
It has also been suggested that some benefits are: Natural anti-depressant, anxiety reducer and pain reliever, improves concentration, mental alertness, memory, and quality of sleep, increases energy and female-initiated sexual behavior as well as assisting with pregnancy maintenance.
Last year there was an article in the UK's Daily Mail on semen benefits:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2190863/Semen-good-womens-health-helps-fight-depression.html
Wikipedia has something to say on this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen
Particularly section 2 is on the Health Effects.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen#Health_effects
Elsewhere I have seen that the suggested health dis-benefit relating to cervical cancer is connected to those who have multiple partners.
Also Section 5 on Semen ingestion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen#Semen_ingestion

"a woman with cystitis ... was to have intercourse every other day alternating with days when a wife masturbated her husband, rather than daily intercourse?" Not quite. A woman with cystitis needs it treating, and might have to refrain from intercourse for several days until it cleared up. The suggestion was that for a woman at risk of cystitis through daily intercourse might resort to alternate days of intercourse to keep cystitis at bay.

Thanks for this info Shepherd. It's very interesting, I was not aware of this. Thinking about it, even if a woman were not able to orgasm (if that should happen), I'm realizing and tending to think she would probably still find pleasure just in feeling a man she loves inside her. The reported health benefits from his sperm - well that makes it even better! I'm feeling better about this. All the best to you and many thanks for sharing your your thoughts, experiences and info throughout this discussion!!

Rose

Glad I could help.