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My sex drive is average, but I rarely want to have sex with my partner. She is good in bed and I've very attracted to her, but my sex drive doesn't kick in around her. Its been this way with all my girlfriends. I usually masturbate 3-4 times per week and sex with my partner 1-2 times per week and have no problems sexually.

To achieve orgasm during sex I always have to think about other girls and its always something risky. For example, the fantasy is with friend's wives, other guys joining in on the same girl, risky places where we could be caught, etc. I use to masturbate to porn but I heard it desensitizes people to normal sex so I've mostly cut that off for the last 6months, but nothing has changed.

First of all, why doesn't my sex drive kick in around my hot girlfriend? Secondly, I would like to be able to just be in the moment with with her, but without the sexual fantasy it takes hours to orgasm if at all.

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em... I hope this isn't alarming but, there's the possibility that you're gay.
I have friends who "were straight" and had the same problems. There's no real way of checking other than to see if you're aroused by men. If so, you might be gay. And i know you said you think of other girls but most gay guys need to detach themselves from reality during sex so they can still maintain boners and get erections even when thinking of women.

If not you could suffer from a various assortment of things be it poor nutrition or a mental problem that decrease's sexual desire.

Most guys have sex naturally, if it takes longer than 30min then you've got a problem. The average time for sex is like 10min supposedly, but i think 30min for orgasm is normal haha. either way, check up.
If you're gay then the solution is easy, be more honest with yourself.
If not, then go to a doctor, they should be able to help somewhat.
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