i found out i was hiv postive last year around this time, i have not taken any medication i cant afford to see doctors, and i recently thought i had a hemr. but i went to the hosptial and they told me that it was a case of anal warts, i am so upset i feel suicidal i dont have many for all these medicines, i dont know if i should apply for some kind of program i live in nyc, this is very upsetting i dont think i deserved this, i dont feel sick at all , but i do have a very bad bad odor that is coming from my anal and it smells like blood , i have to wash up costantly, i dont know if they will go away because my immune system isnt very good since i have hiv, can someone please give me advice, i dont know what to do to get help, i feel like the warts are too big for medicines and they need surgery to be removed, is there a way medicare will pay for that? if i applied for medical assistance?

xox jackie.