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Hi, my son is diagnosed with attachment disorder. My husband and I have done everything we can to be good parents, but it seems that it was not enough. The doctor said that adopted children often suffer from attachment disorder and that we did not do anything wrong. This gave us little comfort. We are feeling desperate and feel that there is nothing we can do to help our son. Could you tell us if there is still hope for our family?

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Hi, attachment disorder is often diagnosed in children who were abandoned by their birth mothers. Proper attachment connections are formed during the first two years of baby’s life. If in that time baby’s needs are not met regularly or there are many people involved in child’s nourishment it is very likely that this child will grow up to have an attachment disorder. Because your son was raised in an orphanage you can see that it is not a big surprise that he developed this disorder. I can understand that you are worried about his mental health, but you should not despair. Besides the professional treatment there are a few things you can do to help your son. First of all you should help him feel safe. Secondly, he should learn to control emotions like fear and anger. Under control I don’t mean suppression, but the proper expression of these feelings. What your son needs is for you to show all the love and support you have for him. Therapy is usually longer and you will have to be strong if you want to help your son. If you fall into the state of hopelessness who will be there for your child?
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