Can't cum with my boyfriend, ONLY when i masturbate

Its similar for me but we've never actually had sex. He's fingered me and given me oral pleasure but I've never felt like I was going to cum. I masturbate and I never have a problem making myself cum and I've tried to show him what to do and he does it right but I just don't go all the way.. We're both pretty frustrated..

please cuming by ur self .this what happen to me when i,m 22yr.i use to do it .i rub myself to come.it is hard to stop but try to stop it .dt think about doing it.let ur boy friend do it .and try to put ur mind as your boy friend is doing it .remenber when ur doing it  by ur self, u put  ur mind .

mizzhaydenbby wrote:

chirusa84 wrote:

I had the same problem: Here's the solution: try touching yourself while he is having sex with you & i garantee you cum, I do it all the time with my husband he seems to like it, it turns him on more:)

I never had an orgasm during intercourse until recently; and only 3 guys had ever gotten me off (mostly from oral) until I met the guy i'm with now. The trick for me is being on top, with his member inside you, and you literally ride it..vigorously (i'm an equestrian so i guess i got the moves!) and at the same time he fingers your clit. it's soooo hot, especially if your man is gorgeous, just watching his face and seeing his pleasure; and when you cum he gets to feel you get super wet all over him, which will usually push him over the edge. mindblowing. we're moving on to teaching me how to squirt now! good luck; just try to focus on the sexual sensations, you might be too much in your head :)

it seems like i can only cum when i play with myself in a certain way. my boyfriend has tried repeatedly and in different ways to make me cum cause he thinks that when you cum it's cause the other person pleases you. im pleased with what he does but i can't seem to cum at all. what's wrong with me? and how can i change this without hurting my boyfriend's feelings? and does this mean that i haven't really known how to cum?

I've been able to make myself orgasm since about age 7 by accident when I was climbing a tree, as weird as that sounds.  I can make myself cum by pressing my clit up against something and moving around in certain ways.  The only way I can cum during sexual intercourse is from behind, me flat on my belly on the bed with my clit pressed against the bed while my man is doing me from behind.  I have to use my buttcheek muscles to press my clit down.  When I do this by myself, I only squirt a small percentage of the time, but when I do it with someone, it feels so much better, and fluid comes gushing out.  When I first tried this, I thought I peed myself, lol, but that's not what it was.  It was clear and went all over the bed.  Sorry if TMI.  It's something you can try, though.  If it doesn't work, try doing everthing I've mentioned but put 3 fingers close together on your clit while you're lying on your belly while you're having sex.  That might work better for you.  Tell your boyfriend that orgasm is more of a biological response for women; even when we have all the ingredients in our minds, we still need a certain type of physical stimulation, and it's very different and very exact for each of us.  You can also try him giving you oral by gently sucking on your clit and teasing from side to side instead of up and down.  He can do small circles with his lips pursed together like he's giving a kiss and hum, too.  That might set you through the roof.  Tell him you want to try something new.  :))

I and my boyfriend have sex everyday. I'm sorry if this sounds quite personal but I can't reach orgasm (cum) I know I'm difficult. I have had 2 boyfriends, so I'm not really an expert about sex. Well, I'm learning. I'm 20 btw.

I don't think that's normal dear, I think that he should take care of you too, if he really cares, I have been wo th so many guys like 10 & im not ashamed I guess no matter how many guys I slept with, no one could make come until I met my husband, he was the only one out of all of thhem that actually cared to make me cum, now everytime we have sex we cum togother & its the best feeling you can ever have, especially if you love someone:) Have you ever tried talking to him about your problem? What you can try is when his private part is inside of you try touching yourself down there... & think about all the things he is doing to you right there, try to focus on just that nothing else..

you say you masturbate inside the restroom, try doing it like that except when you guys are doing it let him grab your boobs & just keep on playing with yourself, at first it might feel a little weird but once your on your way to an orgasm nothing else will matter just the two of you & once you get that orgasm, you will want to have sex with him all the time trust me:) like I said if he doesn't satisfy you, you should find someone who truly will & cares about you...

You can try & be creative, like some sort of fantasy .. try dressing up ..

like wearing a short dress or a mini skirt with low cut top & wear some makeup & do your hair, when you feel sexy that's when you get a good sensation when you about to have sex.. I have alot of things to say but that's it for now.. Sorry if i'm being to personal.. Hope you the best:)

Hi ya
Thank you so much for the reply. I agree with every words you say!
Today we tried to have sex in the car ... (which was good) And again I couldn't finish together with him. But I was really excited , so after he finished I masturbated. And he said to me
" Now show me where is ur sweet spot hun, so that next time I can help"
I said with shy voice " You touched it there before but you need to run it faster .... "
He said " Oh need to be faster? ok I'll remember that"

And he sat on the driver seat and let me finished, then we drove home. Now it's about 5 pm in where I live. We had sex again in the afternoon .... and I could cum :D I helped myself though .....

But yesterday I was really pissed off that he said like that. He is a good man I can tell .... but he seems he is not so responsible when we have sex or i think too much I'm not sure!

Anyway miss, I appreciate your reply a lot. I will take time for this relationship. Like you said ... if he not care 'bout me then I should find someone who truly will and cares about me. And I love the fact that you have experience about guys! because I hate to be innocent lol

Thank you miss and have a nice day. Xoxo

Ok, this is a very simple problem for MOST guys. I've been with a lot of women, and have been the first guy to make them orgasm, or have an intense one. Pretty simple solution, A REAL ORGASM TAKES 9 HOURS to build up, he needs to start treating you subconsciencely in the morning like a queen. Next, he needs a technique, you said he tried many, has he tried the hand on your pelvic bone while fingering, grinding the clit, doing the cursive writing alphabet with his tongue, or all of the above?

Sometimes it has to do with his own endurance,

My signature move is counting down from 1-30 when I reach thirty, I go all out with my fingers. like, almost fast enough to make a flick noise. Then count down from 60-1, playing around with the numbers to make it last longer. I use a vertical motion while placing my hand over the stomach, to hit the nerves better, and force muscle reactions for the build up.

You're probably just a rank difficult in the time and skill level, none the less, when he learns the right way, you will be very happy and easier after the first time.

Good Luck

SFB from curiousxxx @ tumblr XD

women love foreplay and once you get her to cum during foreplay she would not be disappointed if she don't cum during sex. Doggy style is a great position for her to cum though and also you under and she on top but with you doing the work, this poistion is mind blowing. So you can try those. Hope it helps. The great things about these positions is that you don't have to go for long before she cums so your back issues shouldn't be a problem. Good Luck.

thats a myth made up by men so they dont have to do any work

Has it even occurred to people that most men believe they are great lovers and are actually mediocre at best? And the same can be said about many if not most women. But here is the difference, and this completely a raw deal of nature: men can orgasm infinitely quicker and with more ease than women. This has always been the case and always will be the case. But no one ever wants to admit that - usually their minds tell them that it is the other partner's fault - and although there can be a lot of truth to that - good sex takes good playerS - yes, plural - players.

And mediocre sex is even more probable if people are young. Youth is inexperience. Movies and TV lie to us everyday and so does the porn industry. Don't get me wrong, porn serves its function rather nicely, but its only some women that are in it to be treated like porn stars and most are probably not. Hence, why we all get so incredibly offended the moment someone calls us a w****, s***, etc. 

Back to the young thing : The sex I had then and the sex I have now are on completely different levels. For one thing, years of experience, hopefully, will pay off. When people are young, they honestly don't know what the f- they are doing. At least, when your older or with someone that is older, you can learn a few things, etc. Now granted - being older absolutely does not a good lover make (and this goes for both men and women). 

Listening, bringing intimacy front and center in the bedroom is of extreme importance for women. Foreplay - yep, good old fashioned foreplay. And its not just about oral sex (although heaven forbid its ever left out!) but also about caressing, stroking, a little dominance if that is your thing. One of my favorite things for my partner to do is gently move my arms to the sides, and hold me down. Its the act of dominance without getting out a whip and leaving me a bloody mess. But its part of the kind of intimacy that gets me off, so I ask you to start exploring the things that get you off. And no, it doesn't just have to be about someone playing with your clit, it can be anything - whatever it takes to help get you to that place. So let yourself go there and honestly figure out what turns you on. If you are not stimulated by the act itself, then you need to find other avenues and express them to your partner. Sex is multi-player game (take that any way you want) and should not, and cannot be done alone. You might as well cut corners and just masturbate.

One last tid-bit of information. Sex in a relationship is extremely important. If the sex is not good and satisfying, your relationship will absolutely lack an extremely important element of intimacy, trust, lust, and satisfaction. Yes, all other things are important - friendship, understanding, etc. But the sex has got to be satisfying because if it is not, one day someone might stray. And when things in life get tough, for instance, a tough financial situation, or other things - you and your partner are going to need the love for each other and the intimacy in your bedroom to pull you through the tough times. 

This is why we get married and attempt to form such a meaningful connection with someone else. If you cannot, and good sex is important to this formula, then you will not last and you will not be fully happy. So, if you can't cum with your boyfriend you have to take the necessary steps to open communication and figure out how you to can work on getting you there, and maybe even making sex better for him too. If this does not work, you will fight and he will hate you for making him feel like he is c**p in the sack. It is a sticky situation and you might have even moved on from him, but for a life lesson, do what you gotta do to make sure the sex is good. If it is not, your are not with your lover, you are with your ex. 

 

good luck hun! xo

Ik how you feel I have the same problem, he thinks its him, but really I enjoy it..I just cant cum. My boyfriend & I are looking at sex advice books, and how to relax yourself and do your do.. I wish you the best of luck, Ik I need it. :p

it just takes a lot of time and patience, and i know that isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth. having an orgasm is much more mentally based for women, so if you aren't in the right state of mind, it just can't happen. it took me and my boyfriend almost a year to achieve him giving me an orgasm. however before that i would "help" him and get myself close with masturbation while we made out, etc, and then he finished me off. it really helped me get used to the feeling because i never had an orgasm with anyone else but myself before. it also takes A LOT of practice for the guy, if you're anything like me, it just isn't as easy for me as some other women. don't be afraid to tell him what you like, and eventually he will get the hang of it and you will be more comfortable. so you both need lots of patience and you really need to be comfortable with him, 100%, it'll make things so much easier.  also try to RELAX and not think about just having an orgasm the whole time, it will make it much harder to achieve. let yourself get caught up in the moment, start with being romantic, foreplay, whatever turns you on. the mood you are in is very important. let me tell you now that he can make me orgasm completely on his own, it is SO worth all of the previous frustration and disappointment. Now he is the only person who can satisfy me. 

try playing with yourself while you are having sex. it may help you and also youre guys may like seeing you do that.