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The fact is that lots of expectant moms (and dads!) have lots of questions about sex during pregnancy.

Before you watched in excitement as your pregnancy test became positive, you probably had lots of intercourse, perhaps centered around your fertile window or perhaps all cycle long. Then, you were suddenly in that fresh and risky stage of pregnancy we call the first trimester, and you may have developed questions as to whether sex is OK at all. Let's look at that.

I think the most common questions about sex during pregnancy are whether it's safe, whether it disturbs the baby in any way, whether it's creepy to do something "like that" when you have a baby growing inside you, why your libido suddenly shot up and how to get your creeped out partner in the mood.

Sex during pregnancy is usually safe

Having sex is totally normal. Whether you believe in evolution or are more religious, one thing is quite certain we humans have sex for many reasons besides reproduction. Sex is a way for partners to bond, and a way in which we can relax. It's hard to keep couples from having sex under all kinds of circumstances, and we're quite robust. Women who are enjoying a healthy and normal pregnancy are not going to miscarry because they had sex. There are some circumstances under which sex during pregnancy is not advisable. They include episodes of vaginal bleeding, a history of miscarriage, placenta previa, a risk of premature labor, and obviously after your waters have broken and you are in labor you don't want to introduce bacteria to the baby's amniotic fluid.

Can the baby feel it?

Nah. Babies in utero have a global idea of movement whenever you are moving. Both walking and sexual intercourse provide rhythmic movements that could send your fetus to sleep. Remember that your baby is surrounded by a bunch of amniotic fluid that cushions movements, and rest assured that your uterus is actually quite a way away from where the action goes on. No part of the sexual anatomy of your partner will actually touch anything very close to the baby. Now, when you have an orgasm, you might start experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions (if you are further into your pregnancy). This is totally normal. These contractions also happen when you sit down, stand up, do exercise, and so on as you will have noticed.

Your libido goes crazy

Some pregnant women have a higher libido than they ever did before, while others don't feel like doing it at all. Both are quite normal. Whether you feel like sex or not also depends on where in your pregnancy you are. Nobody likes the morning sickness and constant terrible fatigue that tend to come with early pregnancy for instance, so it is quite normal to have no energy for sex. Or anything else for that matter. Once the first trimester is over, you may feel a whole lot different.

Pregnancy increases a woman's overall blood volume, and the circulation around the reproductive system is also greatly enhanced. You may be happier with your sex life than you've ever been, which might mean you will see more action too. So, what do you do if your libido goes through the roof, but your other half is kinda convinced that sex isn't good for the health of your pregnancy or (as can happen) his impending fatherhood is stressing him out and he doesn't really feel like doing the deed? The first case is easier to solve. Just show your partner some info about the safety of sex during pregnancy.

You can find scientific sources online easily. Including (not very sexy) illustrations of where your baby is in relation to everything else. The second case requires open communication, and a nice glass of wine. For him, that is, not for you. On the flip side, what happens if you are the one that doesn't feel like it? Ha. You are the pregnant one, and your partner will just have to put up with whatever it is that you want. He can solve his own problems. Do be open to massages and stuff, and maybe that will get you in the mood. Or maybe not. By the way, pregnancy is the time to get creative with positions. Did you know lying on your back for long periods of time can restrict the amount of blood that reaches your baby? Well, it's true so it makes sense to avoid being the missionary position for too long. That bump eventually really gets in the way too. So, just go with the flow and see what works for you!

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