Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Ibelieveinus you need to have faith i just went to the doctor today ive been going threw this for 3 months now and im better than before but no where near normal the doctor that im going to studies easter and western medicine shes gonna start me on progesterone cream and ill have to take dhea capsules were gonna try this out and see what happens birth control has physically mentally and emotionally messed me up i wanna get back to normal

Yes I know how discouraging it is. But it'll be okay you just need to keep telling yourself that. I sympathize with you 100% believe me, I just want to give you a hug!!



I've been dealing with this for some time and I thought that I was suffering for too long (came off bc in Jan, had my breakdown and negative feelings erupt in May, and am continuing healing now that its Sept) but really hormones affect us all differently, there are just too many variables to consider. The thing to do is keep faith, and stay positive, there are a few of us who have come out the other side from this, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!!



Just remember that he chose to love you and he is loving you through all this. As long as you know that your feelings are there, that through all this craziness the love you feel is there, even just deep down, it'll be okay. Everything that is happening is not your fault, it is ALWAYS the hormones!!

Hi guys, I've been having a good month and feeling great no negative thoughts and I'm due my period on Wednesday and all of a sudden today my negative thoughts are back my boyfriend is annoying me and then my thoughts are back saying maybe you just don't love him look he is annoying ya omg I'm so angry these are back, head is wrecked girls :(:(:(

Hey girls,

Though I know you all are still struggling, it makes me glad to hear that we're helping other women sort through this mess. I can still remember clearly how much comfort this forum used to give me, and it still does! Though I'm healed, I did experience a downturn in the last few days before my period. Basically, I started reading this forum and getting a little down about all those negative memories. That coupled with my natural mood fluctuations at this time of the month, and I started to feel a shadow of those past feelings wash over me. It really is hard to describe. I talked to my husband about it, but I didn't quite get the same relief as I used to after a good cry. Thankfully, that shadow passed today and I feel normal again. I'm not sure if my PMS is back to pre-BCP levels, but it's close enough for me to still feel healed and completely back to my old self. You know, I think we should all "raise a glass" to every woman on here who comes back to say she's completely healed. I so look forward to the day when all of you can say that and feel it. I really wish more healed women would come back to post. I hope you all promise to do so!

In other news, all these new requirements for teachers are making my life quite busy, and probably making me notice my PMS issues less. So, just another reason why you should stay busy if your hormones are still whacky.

As for how some of you are feeling about your boyfriends/husbands, I know it's difficult. There were times (often really), that I couldn't even pinpoint what was keeping me believing that I loved my husband (then fiance). There were times when I didn't feel it at all, not a bit. But then, there were always those breaks in the clouds, rare as they were, that kept my hope alive. Doubt your love all you want, but don't give up on it!! Also, don't expect your feelings to be that of infatuation. When my mood was down, I was always looking for those excited/butterflies in the stomach feelings toward my fiance. What I realize now is that, at some point, it had moved beyond that to true love. And while true love does elicit those feelings from time to time, mostly it doesn't. I love my husband more deeply than I've ever loved anyone, but that doesn't mean that I get butterflies everytime he walks in the room. What I do feel is safe, loved, contentment, and the sense that we are a team. I don't know if this helps anyone, but it did help me to differentiate true love from that excitement I thought I was missing simply because my hormones were so crazy. 

I'm so happy to hear you talk about that "in love" feeling. I was afraid my love had gone because I didnt feel that way... but those feelings get replaced by comforting love, and yes, that sense that you both are a team. I am also hoping that everyone keeps posting here to keep all our spirits up. Thank you so much for coming back and cheering us on, and giving us insight on how you felt during your ordeal to help us through ours. Hugs all around!! Remember everyone stay hopeful, JenniferE is an example that we can all make it through this!!

wow. Thank you so much for this post!

Thank you for this post. It's true what you say about true love vs. infatuation. I've read a lot about that on a website called "conscious transitions" and it's helped on the particuarly difficult days. My quitting birth control seems to have coincided with the end of the honeymoon period... Or maybe it kick-started the end of the honeymoon period. Either way, my rational mind understands that love isn't perfect and people aren't perfect and that I love him very much, even if he sometimes irritates me or if I don't feel 24/7 butterflies. And I realize that looking for irritating qualities and looking for butterflies is only going to exaggerate the doubt that I feel. But my irrational mind cannot comprehend any of this. It just wants to run. It tries to convince me every single minute of every single day that I'm not happy, that I don't love him, and that he's not right for me. It seems like when I get over one obsession, another one pops up. And they are all variants of "you don't love him." I really hate it. I felt like I was getting better last week even thought the doubts were still lurking around a bit. But this week has been lousy again. I'm so sick of the setbacks. I'm so sick of not feeling like myself. I don't enjoy anything like I used to. Even silly things like TV shows. I feel like I can't get excited about anything anymore. I just feel like a shell of myself.

Totally know what you mean. esp this part:



"My quitting birth control seems to have coincided with the end of the honeymoon period... Or maybe it kick-started the end of the honeymoon period."



Also your feelings, this back and forth and your mind being your worst enemy... I'm so sick of these feelings too.



I registered on here to share my email since I cannot just share it in a post... so if you check my profile (it is also set to public) you can find it under Location. Please don't hesitate to email.



ibelieveinus, I relate to your posts the most out of anyones, in a way I am relieved because I wasn't sure everyone felt some of the things I felt but I feel what your feeling to a T. I am much more convinced now that this sh*t we're going through is all because of these hormones. I have said it before, but really I will NEVER go back to hormonal BC ever again. I have dreams of marrying my bf, and having children, and he is completely aware of this. I wouldn't tell him those things if i did not mean them. The love is there, I (and we all) just have to fight through all that confusion and keep the hope alive.

Hang in there girls!! It really does get better! I am feeling SO much better than I was just a week and a half ago. I actually feel completely normal! My naturopath has helped me tremendously, and has gotten my hormones back on track. I'm so sorry you all are going through this right now because I know EXACTLY how you feel and I know it is complete hell! Just keep your head up - I never believed I would get better. I honestly thought something was wrong with me and I'd never be how I was ever again. But now I am :) You DO love your boyfriends/fiances/husbands and you WILL feel it again. I promise!! This whole crazy mess, mixed with a wedding that just keeps getting closer and closer was really making me second guess all the decisions I'd made in my life. But trust me, you will feel normal again! Just hang in there and have faith, and if you can, see a naturopath! 

Hi slawson17, I just contacted a naturopathic doctor very close to where I live, about a town over, and I hope they can get back to me about this.



This is me crossing my fingers... I dont want to be thought of as crazy like every other freaking doctor... this is happening to way too many of us for any doctor to ignore!!!

Paperstar wrote:

slawson17 wrote:

Hang in there girls!! It really does get better! I am feeling SO much better than I was just a week and a half ago. I actually feel completely normal! My naturopath has helped me tremendously, and has gotten my hormones back on track. I'm so sorry you all are going through this right now because I know EXACTLY how you feel and I know it is complete hell! Just keep your head up - I never believed I would get better. I honestly thought something was wrong with me and I'd never be how I was ever again. But now I am :) You DO love your boyfriends/fiances/husbands and you WILL feel it again. I promise!! This whole crazy mess, mixed with a wedding that just keeps getting closer and closer was really making me second guess all the decisions I'd made in my life. But trust me, you will feel normal again! Just hang in there and have faith, and if you can, see a naturopath! 

Hi slawson17, I just contacted a naturopathic doctor very close to where I live, about a town over, and I hope they can get back to me about this.

This is me crossing my fingers... I dont want to be thought of as crazy like every other freaking doctor... this is happening to way too many of us for any doctor to ignore!!!

Awesome! I hope they can help you! Going to a normal doctor didn't help me at all - he just made me feel more crazy because he wouldn't believe anything I was saying. Usually naturopaths are a lot more understanding! If you can, find a chiropractor who practices Nutrition Response Testing. That is what my doctor does and she works wonders :)

I was looking into making an appointment with an endocrinologist but I'm afraid that I'll get tests results back that are fine and then I'll freak out that it's me and not the side effects of the pill. Silly, I know. But I'm still scared. That's my biggest fear: That these feelings are real and that I've fallen out of love or never was in love and that I'm just in denial. But I'm trying to stay strong. There's a reason I'm on these boards and in counseling. Somewhere, something in me recognizes this as OCD/anxiety and not fact. If not, I wouldn't be spending my time researching hormone imbalances. I wouldn't feel so weird/off. I wouldn't have good days. I wouldn't have moments where I feel my love again. And I certainly wouldn't be planning my future with this man. I love daydreaming about marrying him and having a family with him. Certainly, I wouldn't want these things if I wasnt in love. I got so upset a few weeks ago when his job fell through and it looked like we wouldn't be able to move in together as soon as we wanted to. If I wasn't in love and didn't want to be with him, I wouldn't be so sad about us not living together. Now that we're back on track and moving in together in January, my anxiety is doubting what I want again. Such a vicious cycle. I think my biggest fear is that this won't go away. I'm staying with my boyfriend even if I had this anxiety for the rest of my life. I love him that much and he's a great man. But I want the anxiety to go away so that I can enjoy my relationship again. I'm so worried that now that my post-pill irritability has found him annoying, I'll never be able to find him un-annoying. My anxiety just dwells on the negative and blows it out of proportion. And the ironic thing is that the things I find "annoying" now never used to annoy me before this pill mess. I just hope that my anxiety will stop scrutinizing him every 5 seconds one day. As hard as these six months have been, I don't mind it as long as it is temporary. I just worry that it's not.

I noticed that vitamins help me. And I just started taking primrose oil a few days ago. Plus I try to drink chamomile and verveine teas and omit caffeine completely from my diet. Some books have helped a little as well: The Power of Now, Brain Lock, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. And a relaxtion tape I got on Amazon.com that is supposed to help calm negative thoughts has been a great way to relax. Websites like this one and others like the women's Aphrodite health board, and a website called conscious transitions have helped as well Does anyone have any other recommendations that have helped them?

I know exactly what you mean. One of the reasons I didn't want to see a therapist was because I feared so much that he/she would say it wasn't the hormones. Now, in hindsight, whether it was the hormones or not (and I firmly believe it was), I just needed to find a way to help myself and get back to my "old self". Just knowing that you have an "old self" should be enough proof that something is wrong and it's something you can't control. We all have to find our own way through this mess, and thankfully we have the support of our significant others and this forum. Even if I discovered that my past issues weren't related to my hormones, I would still feel as though I made the right choices toward my own healing. That's what's important, getting back to your "old self".



In fact, I still find myself learning more even though I'm healed. For example, I learned that my infatuation/new love feeling deepened into true love at some point in my healing, and I had to acknowledge that before I began expecting those high as a cloud feelings that simply aren't realistic or aren't always present every second of the day. Plus, if you don't feel like your "old self", it's definitely not a good time to judge your feelings. I know that seems counterintuitive, but you'll drive yourself crazy with those questions of, "what if I never feel in love again?" or "what if I made the wrong choice?" or "what if I've fallen out of love and am just in denial?" Trust me, I had all of those same questions and more, but in hindsight, I am SO happy I kept hope.



You aren't crazy! I know you feel like you are, we all know how that feels, but you are quite sane. As I've heard some people say, if you really were crazy, you wouldn't be asking the question :)

Though I'm healed, I suddenly had a thought today that worried me. What if, when I get pregnant (whenever that is), my body's fluctuating hormones send me down that terrible path again? I realize that this may not be comparable to going off BCP, but I do often wonder if it will be easier to slip back into that mess if I've already experienced it once before. 

I suppose this is a case in which I should remind myself that I'm healed and that I don't have to worry about it coming back, but I guess that's what the negative memories have left behind, a new reason to worry :) Does anyone (who's completely healed) have any insight as to how my hormones might respond to pregnancy given my past experience?

I've thought about that too - especially since it kinda feels like postpartum depression. But it may not be that bad because we've had this experience before. We know it will pass and it's not permanent. I think everyone goes a little crazy when they're pregnant, but it's seen as normal because they're pregnant! I think this was initially scarier because no one in the medical community (with the exception of many naturopaths) acknowledged that birth control could do this. And now that I think about it, many mainstream doctors blame these same symptoms on pregnancy & hormones, yet won't admit this can happen with birth control, which mimics pregnancy ans screws with your hormones... see what money does!!