Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

OOk so i feel so much better now that my period is over still somewhat crazy but better and easier to put up with and a few nights ago i started to feel a tingling numbness all over and it of course set off anxiety and i worry all night it's almost 3am now and i can't sleep bc of it. I was wondering if anyone felt this way??? Or maybe it could have to do with me being anemic? I don't know. It's really starting to worry me!

I feel crazy right before my period like i normally havr anxiety really the bad the day before or the day of it messes me all up because i feel like i go back to square one. How long have you been off bc

Hi everyone,

I just thought i would give you some updates. I'm off BC now 6 months And I feel amazing. June and July was hell for me I was so depressed anxiety stopped eating the negative thoughts took over my head And I tried to take my own life which at the time I was so low and that's all I did was question my life.

I have been seeing a therapist and she has really helped me..... Girls be strong do not listen to all those negative thoughts in you head they are NOT real they are all withdrawals symptoms you are all experiencing. Any thoughts you are getting about you bf/fiancé/husband they are not real this is all the side effects. What I did was I wrote a good letter to my bad day and when I was having a bad day I wid read that letter and it would help or I would go in the forum and talk to the girls .

Hang in there girls be strong take your time and be patient you are all going to be ok .

Loads of love x

Hello everyone,

It was a long weekend for me as we helped my husband's mother move into a new house. However, I thought I would give you all an update now that I'm rested up.

I still believe I am my old self and completely healed as I've said before, but something happened last night that made me concerned. Keep in mind that I have only a few more days till my period starts, so there are issues that come with that. Anyway, I was lying in bed next to my husband when one of those questions popped into my head. You know the kind, "should I be with him?" or "did I make the right choice?". To be honest, this set my heart to racing just a little. I set it out of my mind though, remembering how much I love him, and went to sleep. It wasn't the most restful sleep, but it was a deep sleep.

This afternoon on my drive home from work, I began to think about this more. Despite being back to my old self, any significant slump of mood could possibly set in motion what I'd become so used to in those bad months. The difference now, is that I'm reacting to the painful past rather than a painful present, if that makes sense. The memories are what hurt now, as opposed to my mood spiraling down as it did when I was actually putting stock in those ridiculous negative questions. And those negative questions that pop into my head in a down moment, spark the pain of those memories. Thankfully, I don't spend the rest of the night or day doubting everything as I used to. 

I thought you all might want a heads up in case you find yourself in a similar situation a few months from now when you feel back to your old self. It feels really good to be healed, but I think it will take longer for those memories not to cause pain. I think I should avoid those memories as much as I can and focus on all your journeys to health! Until then, keep the faith everyone, it does get better!

It's nice to hear that some people have overcome these side effects from quitting birth control. I'm hoping that the same will happen for me. I'm six months off and while I do feel better, I'm nowhere near normal yet. I am so irritable and moody. My lows are hard to climb out of sometimes. When I'm low, my mind feels dark and cloudy and I doubt everything about my relationship. I distance myself from affection. I question every action, emotion, and thought. I worry that I don't love my boyfriend, that I don't want to be with him anymore, that I won't miss him if I break up with him, that he isn't right for me, that he annoys me, that I don't like his personality, that this anxiety post-pill has done irreversible damage to my relationship, that I'm ruining my relationship... I worry and obsess about everything. "Do I miss him enough?" during work. "Do I want to call him?" on my lunchbreak. "Am I excited to see him?" before every weekend. "Do I find that annoying?" when I'm with him. It's so frustrating. I never had these thoughts before birth control. I miss my old relationship! I'm going through hell and it's like I'm helpless to my mind that is bullying me and sabotaging the most important relationship I've ever had. Oh, and it hurts to have sex most of the time. UGHHHHHH! THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO GO THROUGH. My heart breaks every day. I want to feel like me again. I can't get excited for anything anymore. I can't feel anything for anyone. I just want to isolate myself in my room and watch TV alone. And every time I think I'm getting better, I have a setback. I feel like screaming and crying. Bleh.

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I know how you feel. Sometimes, the setbacks can be worse than anything else, especially if you start to think you're completely healed and then discover that you're not. I'm an impatient person, so it was EXTREMELY difficult for me to be patient with myself. Afterall, having to wait months and month just to start to feel better a majority of the days is not what most would consider healing, but in this case it is.



My questions to you would be: have you written yourself a "Happy letter"? Have you began a mood journal and watching for patterns? Have you been talking to someone about how you feel when you are at your lowest point? Have you taken a look at articles that compare true relationship troubles with normal doubt (in my case I compared it to wedding jitters). You may be surprised to find that even in your negative mood you can't argue with logic when these articles show you that your doubts are not a true cause for concern.



I don't think I would have made it through as well as I did without these things. Without seeing visible progress in my mood journal, I probably would've believed that I wasn't getting better at all because I was always focusing on the negative. For example, on my bad days I would post to the forum about how terrible I felt and how it never seemed to end. Then, I would look at my mood journal and feel just a little comfort seeing that I was in fact feeling better.



Anyway, I hope this helps and that you are feeling just a little better. Never forget that we are always here for you, even if the rest of the world doesn't understand. We do!!

So, today and yesterday has SUCKED. Tuesday was pretty great. I was feeling so in love and postive about my boyfriend. And then yesterday the negative, empty feelings started creeping up on me. By bed time last night I was so overwhelmed that by bed time i was obsessing over it (which is something that i have noticed i do, and have always done... Anxiety?) pouring over everything i could find online. Then, this morning on my way to class I started bawling. I couldnt pull myself together so i didnt go to class. I was crying on and off all day at work. I took a short walk this evening in the sun and it seemed to help. And the positive, loving feelings started to come back, even though the bad emotions were gnagging in the back of my head. But its tolerable at the moment. 

Saturday I had a break down and was with my boyfriend. It triggered because we went out with some of his friends and there was a girl from high school that he hadnt seen in a really long time... I felt like his whole mood changed when he saw her and I felt like he was paying more attention to her. Then when she left he went outside right after her to let someone else into the apartment building. But to me it looked like he chased out after her to say good bye privately, or exchange phone numbers or something.

So, I turned this all in to me thinking that he was interested in her and he had feelings for her or had a history with her. I got quite and then later he asked me what was wrong... I was tryingto avoid it becuase I didnt want his night to be ruined with his friend who was in town that he hadnt seen in a long time.... But he kept prying. So finally i told him and cried and he assured me that it was nothing of the sort and that he never really even liked her just as a person. She just happened to have some of the same friends as him. So the night went on and I was ok.

Then later on at home we were in bed and he was having problems finishing (sorry for the lewdness!) I started getting really upset because I was worried it was me, or he was thinking about the girl from earlier. All the what if's were there... What if hes not attracted to me? What if he realized how much he liked that girl? What if he is annoyed with me or mad at me for my jealous/insecure nature? What if hes not telling me something? What if hes bored with me? All these things were stewing in my head while we were in bed... Once he finally finished i took a shower and cried in there. All those neagtive thoughts were there. I got into bed with him and i was literally laying there for 2 minutes and he asked me if i was ok... I swear to you he can read my brain or my vibes or something. Its not like i was crying at the time or anything... He just knew.

And I had a HUGE break down. He held me and everything. I felt somewhat better.... I always do. He always helps. He told me that he thinks that i should try to not dwell on the feelings. Which i agree. I think (and so does he) that i get stuck in my head and over think things. Which is true. He asked me if i still loved him. I said of course and he said then thats all that matters. He assured me hes not going anywhere. He also just held me and had me take some deep breaths with him. Then he kinda talked me through a meditation sort of thing. He said if i start feeling like that to take a minute and take deep breaths and try to focus on the positve things. He also noticed that it seems to go in cycles. Like, im great, then good, then ok, then blah, then bad, then im bawling my eyes out. the cycles seem to go every few days.... You guys see why i love this man so much!!!! And why it KILLS me to feel the way i do. 

 

This week I am on my "period" (withdrawl bleeding) aka im on the pills with no hormones.... Which if my guess and observations are correct is why these last couple weeks have been so bad. Lower hormones=depression. 

 

I picked up a womens multi vitamin and have vowed to drink more water and less pop (starting with cutting back to one pop day.) I have no idea if it will help but heres hopping. 

Thanks for the positive message! I'm going to write myself a happy letter as soon as I have a happy day. So hopefully that will be soon. I'm having a bad day today :( I thought I was doing better and so this setback is so upsetting. I know you mentioned logic and articles. Do you have any recommendations? I'm desperate to feel better. I feel like this misery is never going to end. I worry that now that I've had these thoughts that they'll never be able to go away 100%.

Yes, I definitely see why you love him. It does make it frustrating though, to see WHY you should feel the love with your man, but still not really feel it. That was one of biggest issues while going through all of that. Knowing that he was the man for me, but not feeling the joy or even the contentment that should have gone along with it.



Am I right to think that you're still on the pills? If so, have you considered talking to your doctor about switching to a different kind or maybe even coming off of them all together?

When I was going through all of that, it was in the midst of planning and going through with my wedding. So, I was constantly looking up articles that compared wedding jitters to true problems in the relationship. Though it was geared toward engaged couples, I think it could apply to relationships in general. It really helped me to see that my negativity wasn't logic, it was just hormones and emotions that I couldn't control. I looked up a lot of these, but don't remember specific ones. They all seemed to help me because each one was slightly different, so they all just confirmed each other.



I think those negative thoughts will go away, at least they have for me. However, I still deal with the memories of everything that happened. It's not fun, but it's not the same as in the past when I actually thought the doubts deserved attention.

Yes. I am still on the pill. I am actually starting a new pill on sunday, which is when this pack of ortho tricyclen is finished. I am going on seasonique because it has a steady amount of hormones in it. I am going to give this a go and if it doesn't help in a couple of months I'm going to go off of them all together and consider and IUD.

thank you again! Your words really help more than you know!!!

Hi Everyone,

First of all, I can say that I am so glad I stumbled onto this message board. I am 35 years old as of tomorrow and have been on the pill on and off for about 12 years. I have healthy kids and a loving husband and a great career and family/social life. About a month ago, my husband and I decided to try for a third baby. No idea why, just because. I went off the pill (I had been on for about 5 years staright and it was LoestrinFE) and had the WORST period ever. It was late, and black and painful. Also, my mood was terrible. I had a terrible blow up with my husband who is on anti-depressents himself (he was off it because he didn't refill his prescription) and felt truly suicidal.

 After the period was over, I felt a little bit better. The despair went away and I was functional in about a day or two.  I had about a week of feeling stable again and then like a ton of bricks, they came back. Again, today, I felt hopeless, suicidal, like a complete worthless loser. I have this foggy feeling in my brain, like I don't want to do anything ever. Other than take care of my kids, food, homework, etc. that is it. I feel unfocused at work, I am a teacher and also run the new teacher program at my school. I used to run 5K races and excercise regularly, and I don't even want to think about working out. I have horrible skin, I eat whatever is in front of me, and I HATE the sight of my husband. I get into these rages, like I want to hurt myself, OR punch the daylights out of him. My head throbs on and off, my eyes are super dry, but not like having allergies. Also, I have cramping, loads of it. I keep thinking, maybe I'm pregnant, but again, I have been off of the pill for barely a month.

These types of feelings for me are so tough to get through. I am the one who cares about others when they are down, lifting everyone up who isn't feeling so great about themselves. The scary part is, everyone keeps telling me it's nothing, I'm fine, and I have everything in the world going for me. I feel like worthless loser and go into these wierd crying fits and don't stop until I feel dehydrated. THE WORST thing is the fatigue. I feel tired all the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I am tired.

Well this is what is going on. I feel like giving up on even trying for another child, because I feel like I will either get a divorce or do something regrettable. Again, this is all after I quit the pill. Do these syptoms ever go away? SHould I just go back on Loestrin?

Anita

I'll try to look online for some "wedding jitters" stuff. I stopped birth control at the worst time ever. Started a new job and my boyfriend and I are moving in together. So between the changes in my life and the side effects of quoting BCP, I feel like a mess. I was wondering if anyone has felt like their taste in men has changed since quitting birth control. My boyfriend is the nicest most wonderful guy on the planet. He's so attentive, sweet, and loving. He takes such good care of me. Since quitting birth control, I frequently find his niceness to be a turn off. It's almost like I want to date a jerk instead. And getting "annoyed" by his attentiveness, affection, and overall sweetness is part of what triggers the "you don't love him" and "you don't want to be with him" negative thoughts. it's so frustrating though because i *do* want a nice guy. and i *do* love him. his attentiveness and kindness are some of the things I love most about him. it just feels like my brain chemistry is off since quitting the pills. I can ride it out but I just wish I could know for sure that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that my normal feelings will eventually return.

ibelieveinus wrote:

I know how you're feeling ibelieveinus, back when I first started to notice these wonky feelings, I looked at men quite differently. I used to notice guys alot more and looked at them alot more. I felt very shitty that I was doing that... like yours, my bf is also incredibly nice, loving and kind. I didnt find those traits of his annoying, but they deepened my guilt considerably.

After about 2-3 months I began to feel better, and although my anxiety was still pretty bad, I didn't look at other men nearly as much to not at all, and now am very attracted to my bf. Sometimes those feelings fluctuate (sometimes I am more attracted to him than other times) but slowly slowly I feel things getting back to normal. Its important to have patience with yourself, when all this was happening I was so afraid I wouldn't even begin to feel better but it IS happening, and with help from friends and my therapist (she's helping me SO much) I am working through this.

Keep checking back to this forum to see and remind yourself that there are very many women going through this too. Sometimes when I'm feeling especially hopeless, depressed and anxious I begin to believe that these awful feelings are real.. but then checking back here and re-reading old responses and reading new ones pulls me back from the brink. You WILL get better, it just takes time. Remember, if you TRULY didnt love your bf anymore these feelings wouldnt be hurting you and cutting you as deeply as they are. Remember we are here for you!

Something that has also helped me was to communicate with another of us via email. 

 ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use

Thanks! I'm just frustrated because it's been 6 months post-pill for me and I still feel like a shell of myself. I just started crying on the phone to my boyfriend for no reason a few minutes ago. I keep telling myself that if I didn't love him then I wouldn't be so upset by this and I wouldn't be realizing on some level that it's anxiety and post BCP stuff. There's definitely a rational part of me that knows I love him and I'm holding onto that. Hopefully time will heal all. But at the moment, I'm pretty discouraged. It breaks my heart because he is so sweet and he doesn't deserve this. All he does is be wonderful 24/7 and I'm a horrible person for being so irritated by it and by him. I want to appreciate him like I used to. I want to feel the love again. I'm so worried that now that I have this, it won't go away.