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I am 16 and I just had a bitter quarrel with my mum. She is very strict and cold and I am very nervous and unstable, so we hardly can have a normal conversation. Always some of us lost patience and start yelling. The reason for this fight is, believe or not, my hymen. I don’t know what to think about it and I can’t stand this a tense atmosphere in the house. Everything started when my mum discovered tampons I my bedroom. She accused me that I am not virgin anymore because, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to use tampons. She said that if my hymen hadn’t been torn, I wouldn’t be able to use tampons. My mum said that wouldn’t be possible. She is angry because I didn’t admit that I had sexual intercourse, because I hadn’t. I don’t know what happen to my hymen and I don’t know what the explanation for my hymen is, but I am positive about being virgin. I know what I did and I know what I didn’t do. I can’t explain how come I can use tampons. My girlfriends said that I am not normal and that something must be wrong with my vagina and my hymen. Can you explain me what is wrong with me? I am desperate to find out the true.

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Nowadays, there are many theories and many doubts about hymen. Although, we live in 21st century and in the civilized society, there are still many prejudices around us. Many of them describe having hymen torn or not like simple “black- white” thing- you are virgin or not. Modern science and developed medicine teach us that things aren’t always only “black” or only “white”, which means that many things are individual and unique. The question is- If you are unique are you necessary normal and opposite? I am trying to descriptively explain yours and your mother’s different perception of world. That is normal, but your hymen also is. You neither are cripple, or liar. I trust you. You should accept your vagina and your hymen as they are. First of all, physical condition of your hymen doesn’t indicate are you virgin or not. That issue depends on fact did you have a sex or not. That is simple. Most women have hymen, some of them don’t. You might be one of those who don’t have it at all and that shouldn’t necessary be anomaly. Gynecologist will give professional opinion about it; I give you everything I have about that issue. Some women tear their hymens during cycling, horse riding, gymnastics or masturbating and that they don’t even notice it, because they didn’t feel pain or discomfort or noticed bleeding. Some women have very elastic hymen, which hasn’t been torn when they use tampons or even when you have a sexual intercourse…You see- everybody is different. Don’t be worried or ashamed – that is way you are. Read your mum this article, tell her honestly how do you feel and hug her. Try to establish friendship with her and you might talk to gynecologist about this issue. All the best!
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your mom should belive you. i sometimes use tampons too. i heard that the hymen needs a "tear or slit" in it in order to have your period. and using tampons doesnt nessecaraly mean that you broke you hymen. most girls break there hymen when they have sex (or when a guys penis enters the vagina). some girls, on the other hand, like what hollan said, have an elastic like hymen that takes a couple times at intercourse to break. Either you mom wasnt informed well enough by someone and she doesnt really know what and what cant break a hymen, or she was informed about it and he or she wasnt informed enought and told her the wrong thing or she just didnt understand what the person was saying. hollan is absolutly correct. im just adding on a couple things to what she said. and it might be weird but im 13 and im informed about most things like this. and it might be weird to think " a 13 year old knows this stuff?!" but if you want to know more things about this type of stuff, just google it or look it up on the internet if your not shure about something.
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I use tampon and I am a virgin. Ive heard that just by using a tampon can sort of tear your hymen just enough to be able to use one. I could be wrong, but it would make sense of yours and my situation.
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First of all some woman are born without a hymen others have elastic hymens which means u can have sex and still not break the hymen and maybe when u inserted the tampon u broke it.. But doesnt mean u not a virgin just cause u can wear a tampon its totally normal ....ur friends need to shut up if they dont know sh*t about about hymens and ur mom needs to go online do some research about hymens be4 she accuses you of having sex.
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Well actually there is an opening in the hymen that allows menstrual flow to leave. It also allows a tampon to be fitted without actually breaking the hymen.
I was able to use a tampon without breaking my hymen. It only broke after I had sex. Even on my second time it still bled.
So your mum should believe you anyway because you are her daughter!!
Grr parents.
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i use tampons and i am still a virgin so ur mum is wrong
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Your hymen can be elastic and expand w/o breaking while using a tampon. Even for me losing my virginity,I bled after the second time because my boyfriend didn't go in all the way the first time. But always remember to use protection everytime no matter what. Love is a wonderful thing and sex is a beatiful thing when expressed in a loving way only in a commited relationship, and protection during sex shows how much each other really care about one another.
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I know lots of people who used tampons as virgins. The not being able to use a tampon in your a virgin thing is a myth
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The first few times I tried to use a tampon I couldnt get it in because when I tried it really hurt. The first time I successfully used one it really hurt. I never knew the hymen affected tampon use. I can use them now without any problem. i am still a virgin. Do you think I have already broken my hymen?
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using a tampon doesn't necessarily mean your hymen is broken. when I first started using a tampon it was awful and painful too and now I'm fine. I've been using tampons for a few years now and i used to think that using them broke my hymen. But I got fingered earlier today (by the way, I've never had sex) and i started to bleed. This wasn't the first time I got fingered but I guess this time was way more "intense" (i guess that's a good word for it.) I read a few things and it turns out that was actually my hymen breaking. so you can't know for sure if your hymen is broken by a tampon, unless you go to a gynecologist
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This is just silly. Not for you, dear girl, but 4 your mum. The hymen has a small hole or slit in it to allow menstral fluid and/or discharge (which is totally normal, it's your vagina's cleaning system. Think of it sort of like doing the dishes!) Think about it: If women didn't have a hole or slit in their hymen to allow for menstruation, how the h*ll would the "blood" get out? If there was no tear or hole before sex, then women would be dropping dead everywhere from bacteria buildup or blood poisining or endrometryosis! You are soooooo normal, and, it seems, a lot more informed than your mum or friends. Dont worry about breaking your hymen using tampons. I used them all through High School, University, through my first marriage and my last (and final). At this point I had been having sex for 10 years with 3 different partners, one quite large. Any yet, when I got engaged, a few nights later my fiance broke my hymen! Trust me, there is NO doubt that that was what happened. Not to be graphic, but we both felt a "tear" in three different places and I bled quite a lot, although it was only painful for a couple of seconds. That's how elastic your hymen can be!! Also, to the girl who had trouble with tampons hurting; you may not have broken your hymen. I'm a young woman married woman and to this day I still have at least 1 day of every period where the tampon just "won't go in" or hurts like heck. All this is normal. Try and remember that your vagina is an amazing part of your anatomy; it can stretch to accomodate any size (a vagina is only as "big" or "small" as what's inside of it. When not in"use" your vaginal walls collapse in on themselves, so it's really not a size issue) penis, it allows for menstruation and masterbation, yes, it gives pleasure to your MONOGOMOUS partner, and can accomodate pregnancy and delivery. They come in all shapes and sizes and, barring any medical conditions, all pretty much work the same way. Good Luck to you all; you're all very intelligent young women for seeking answers.
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