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Hi. Me and my fiance have been together for over 3 years now, and upon attempting intercourse numerous times, (both being virgins), her hymen has been too painful upon entry, and all attempts at normal sex have resulted in giving up due to the abnormally high amount of pain, we're certain.

We ask, is any amount of pain normal? Is our problem normal? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

She has regular periods and normal blood flow, though she has had painful cramps before, even at times when she hasn't been menstruating.

If you need any more information just ask.

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It's normal for it to hurt. Even hurt a LOT for some people. I can't really have anything to compare this to as I don't remember mine breaking and I never had a problem with my hymen. From what I've heard though, sometimes a visit to the doctor is needed to get the hymen torn all the way.
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There are a lot of reasons why attempted intercourse might be difficult or painful. They include:

A lack of lubrication. (Use some personal lube!)

A fear of pregnancy. (Use birth control.)

A fear of penetration. (Take your time and don't push it. Let her relax and take it at her own speed.)

A tough hymen might require a visit to a medical clinic and examination by a doctor. If that proves to be the cause, a simple procedure to cut, break, snip or adjustment to the hymen could be done in the office.

In any case, I wouldn't keep attempting it until after consulting a medical person.

And, though a poster above indicates that first sex IS suppose to hurt, I challenge that. It CAN hurt...It MIGHT hurt... but it doesn't HAVE to hurt.
There are many ways to deal with a tight or tough hymen. But I wouldn't insist that the first time is going to hurt. (Of course, I'm not female, so I can't speak from experience, except that my partners never spoke of any pain to me...and I doubt that any were virgins....)

Good luck. Let us know what you decide to do.
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Hey my girlfriend has had sexual intercourse before she met me and her ex boyfriend was really really thin. So the pain she received when i penetrated her with my finger was about the same amount of pain she received from her ex boyfriend. Also when she puts her tampons in crooked, it gives her pain. Is there anything wrong with her hymen? Please help me, im concerned for my girlfriend and i don't want to hurt her because she really wants to have intercourse with me but i don't want to hurt her.
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If your gf has had actual intercourse, then she is no longer a virgin. A penis is a penis and it doesn't matter on the size, length or girth.
If she puts her tampons in crooked, of course it will hurt her and be uncomfortable. A crooked tampon will pinch the vagina.
So to wrap up your concern, gf doesn't have a hymen, she is not a virgin.
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are you sure? because some girls hymen are harder to break, hers did not break when she had intercourse. So how does that answer my question?
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if shes had full on penitration then shes not a virgin...however it is possible that it may not be completely broken it does happen....but not likely....vaginas stretch they are supposed to.... very few men are actually too big for sex. take it slow and talk to her and if shes uncomfortable try changing positions or just going slower and dont forget lube especially if you think you are larger...it always helps
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Yes you are correct, some hymens are tougher than others, but if she had intercourse with full penetration, the hymen has ruptured.

Maybe she is just used to having a smaller penis and she may be getting nervous if you are larger than her previous lover.

Make sure she is WELL lubricated.

If she had repeated intercourse with her previous partner, she lost her virginity for sure.
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Well of course she is not a virgin, but i don't think her hymen has ruptured, because it didn't rupture from her finger, and her ex boyfriend is about the size of her finger. But thank you for the tips, I will go very slow and i will use lots and lots of lube, haha, thank you.
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Tevita,
You asked how does that answer your question.
Your question was, "Is her hymen OK" or is it normal.
That can only truely be answered by a medical examination.
She should schedule an appointment with her OBGYN for a full examination.
That would not only answer any question of hymen problems, but also allow some question and answers for why intercourse is painful, if not impossible.
I would want to do this as soon as possible, wouldn't you?
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Yeah i asked her to get her hymen examined, but she doesn't want to go through it, she says that she just needs to tear it. Because she says it hasnt been torn yet.

Im sorry, but I worry about things too much. There might be nothing wrong with her. But i just don't like to take chances, even if the differences outweigh one another. I still worry, I just care about her alot. Hopefully she will take my advice and see a professional and get her hymen checked out. Thank you so much.
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Ok men, as a female this is what you need to know. Sex does not have to hurt but sometimes it can especially if the female is smaller and you have a large penis by means of length girth or both.

Hymens can be broken at a young age but in some cases a female may have "unbreakable hymen" what that means is the tissue is tougher than most and can make sexual intercourse painful. A simple procedure can be done in office if that is the case.

A doctor can check to see the cause of this issue and if your girlfriend is sexually active she should be seeing her gyno already and bringing up any issues she maybe having.

In addition if she is a virgin it may hurt so be sure to relax and go easy. Use lube if needed and always try to use fingers first getting her body prepared.
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Just because you lose your virginity that doesn't mean your hymen is completely broken, she could have a persistent hymen
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Quite often hymens do not tear during sex, they stretch. It is common for women to retain their hymen whilst being sexually active. Hymens that tear or stretch can also heal and unstretch during a period of abstinence.Pain during sex may also be caused by muscle spasms (vaginismus), nerve damage (vulvodynia) and thrush or infections. Your partner can check her hymen with a mirror - it looks like a small pink crescent over the opening of her vagina. With her finger, she can put pressure on the hymen from the inside (by crooking her finger against it) and outside to establish whether the pain is coming from the hymen or from the vaginal muscles themselves.Surgical removal of the hymen is a possibility, but as your partner has had intercourse before, you may be able to achieve the required stretching with a personal lubricant and / or a topical numbing agent, which your doctor can prescribe.For vaginal muscle stretching, a dilator, vibrator or digital penetration may be used to accustom the muscles to the expansion.For hymenal stretching, use a finger and apply gentle pressure outwards.Your girlfriend should also be having regular sexual health checks and a Pap smear every three years to ensure that her vagina and cervix are healthy.Good luck, and be patient.

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OP have you found any solution? My wife and I have the exact same problem.
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