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I really don't want to eat anymore but I know I have to because if I don't its unhealthy. I feel disgusted with myself every single time I put food into my moth and swallow, sometimes I don't even think about it and I eat my meal but then after I hate myself for eating. I feel myself wanting to throw up my food so I won't feel disgusted and ill be happy because the food will be gone. I almost did make myself throw up one time but I stopped myself. I cry because I don't want to eat anymore, I practically force myself to eat and I feel like my life is starting to get completely out of control and when I eat not only do I feel disgusted but like I'm failing myself. I don't know if I'm going to be able to eat anymore, I'll be so hungry but every time I tell myself that I start to care less and less.




it is really important for a young women s body to get the proper nutrients it needs for your transition in to puberty. reading your post , REALLY HURTS MY HEART to hear the way you feel about your self. but you are still growing and your body will continue to change. I think you need to do some proper recherch on Eating Disorders and find someone you can talk to about your self. i think the first step should be to talk to your parents about how you feel ,before it is to hard and late. and ask lots of questions.i really hope you don`t stop eating and find the proper help. there are lost of community recorcess out there for youth that will be able to help...... GOODLUCK