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Hi. I'm 30 years old and my voice never changed on it's own. I could speak in my deep voice when I was 13 but continued to speak in my head voice thinking my voice would change on it's own. I was embarrassed of my deep voice because I couldn't control the volume so here I am at age 30 still afraid to speak in my real voice. When I speak in my head voice I can't speak loudly AT ALL. I'm very social and handle the embarrassment of having a "pre-puberty" voice the best I can. I know people laugh and joke behind my back but rarely say anything to my face. I'm am sick of being scared. I'm ready to live a normal life and shout from the mountain tops! I feel physically and emotionally weak, limited, unsuccessful and doomed to a pitiful life by not speaking in my real voice. I am terrified of people knowing that all these years I Chose not to speak in my real voice out of embarrassment. I can't even tell my girlfriend of 2 years. I can't stand the thought of her laughing at me. Please help!


What's up dude.  I turned 30 last year and just recently started noticing that my voice is changing big time.  I'm speaking a little deeper but I'm noticing a major change in my vocal chords.  I played guitar and sang "okay" in my 20's.  Now I'm singing songs that I could never sing before.  I'm hitting notes that are much higher than ever before too.  On the flip side, I'm unable to sing some of the songs I've been playing for years.  Some of my best songs, I can't even sing at all.  It's really strange, which is why I did a search on this.  I totally know what you're talking about.  When I'm just relaxing and laid back or just woke up or feeling pretty chilled out I talk in a slower deeper chest voice (I'm 6'5'' and 275lbs).  When I'm on the phone or in a social situation I will often use my head voice or what I often refer to as my "waiter voice" (from when I used to wait tables, hey guys! welcome to Tony Romas! Can I get you something to drink?).  I guess I've always switched back and forth but now I'm starting to use my deeper voice or chest voice more often because it's more comfortable / natural on my vocal chords.  I think this has something to do with the hardening of the vocal plate.  I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.  You should re-think things a bit and do what makes YOU happy.  You are not the same person you were 1 year ago, 5 years ago, etc.  You are who you are RIGHT NOW.  Be the person you want to be.  That's it.  Be the person you want to be.  Period.  If your life was a superhero movie, pretend you're halfway through the movie and do whatever the superhere would do to change things (que music montage).  You need to understand, you are not the sum of all of the years in your past.  If you want to be a painter for example, start painting.  You may not feel the change right away but you will as time passes.  It's not who you were and what everyone else thinks you are.  It's what YOU do that defines you.  People may laugh at first, they may give you s*** and make fun but that's mostly their insecurities that they're projecting onto you.  People fear change and they do and say whatever they can to hold you back and make sure you don't rise up.  A lot of times it's friends and family "joking" around but they don't realize the negative impact their words can have on your psyche.  You have to shake dem haters off son.  Be a grown man.  You need to love yourself and be happy with who you are first and foremost.  With all of the chaos that we can't control in this life, your happiness is one of the few things you can control.  Be happy, be positive, be yourself, and that energy that you project will spread.  It will bounce off other people and right back at you.  Vise versa, you act sad and angry all the time nobody wants to be around you except for other people who are sad and angry.  You are lucky to be alive, you're a human being, with free will.  You control your own fate, not you're stupid friends.  If your friends won't accept the changes you make you will simply have to make new friends.