Okay so I'm 16, in the IB program and female and I have this problem I've been hiding. Well backstory first: My childhood was okay. I was picked on up until the 5th grade and from 3rd grade to 6th grade I used to get into fights. At the same time my father was back and forth between home and somewhere else. My sister was giving my family hell since she was going through her wild teens. Besides that though I am genuinely loved. Around the 6th grade I was exposed to conspiracy theories, which I got deeper and deeper into and truth be told I was not ready for. I was paranoid and had reoccuring disturbing thoughts but I eventually forgave my sister but the anger didn't go away. It was like I moved on but a part of me was left behind and it turned violent and guiltless and I argue WITH MYSELF all the time. I know it cant be me but it is so I just call it Dark Side. And its Dark that has these violent urges and images about killing people and hurting myself. It could be random person. It doesn't matter, Dark enjoys it and doesn't care. Its like part of me is a sociopath. I would never allow Dark to do those things but I feel the urges all the same. I feel like a monster and I've suffered some depression because of this. I can't tell anyone, but it kills me that I don't know why this is happening to me. Why? Can anyone please help or reccomend some free online psychologist please?