Hi, im a 29 year old male who started experiencing with pain pills after a motorcycle accident at age 17. Of course my pain pill addiction got out of control and the worst part was I was too young and dumb to realize I could even get addicted to them until I woke up sick one day. I took pain pills until I was about 21 or so. I would spend nearly my whole paycheck on them just so i could work to get the next paycheck. One day I was introduced to subutex when i was out of pain pills and calling every number i could looking for them. This guy had just gotten a bottle of 90 and was telling me it would make me feel better than pain pills and would last all day so i was all for it. For the first while i got a little high off of it, more of a huge burst of energy than a high but it was still a feeling that wasn't normal so I liked it! I dabbled back and forth for a while until finally going to a doctor myself. For many years it was about trying to score as much as i could from my doctor which topped out at 115 8mg tablets per month. I now realize there is no reason why someone needs this much! Over the years I became saturated. I was drowsy all the time, I would fall asleep anytime I sat still etc. It literally robbed me of my soul. I went from an outgoing very social person to a lazy hermit who never wanted to do anything so thats when I said enough is enough. I was sick of being controlled by a pill and tapering off never worked for me. After about 6 years on subutex I went from 16-28mg a day down to 8mg for 1 day then 4mg for 2 days and I jumped off after my last half a tablet(4mg). Days 2-6 were pretty bad but i expected worse. My anxiety was through the roof! I felt like i had the flu and I could not sleep but maybe 2 hrs per night. Im proud to say I never missed a single day of work though! Im now on day 18 completely drug free and each day gets better. Mentally I feel amazing. Im not living in that soul killing fog anymore and the clarity feels so great! Im wide awake throughout the day and I finally started sleeping good after day 10 or so. Anxiety is gone, no more cold chills or flu symptoms. Now at day 18 my only real complaint is a low energy level but that seems to get better daily. I still have some stomach issues but I came down with a stomach virus (thanks to my daughter) on day 17 so im not sure how much of my stomach problems are really from withdrawal. I see so many people say you cannot go cold turkey and im living proof that that is BS! You just have to be ready, you must want it, you must stay positive and be dedicated. Each day I found something positive out of all the negative feelings and thats what has kept me going. That and the fact that it wont last forever! I went into this telling myself, what is 30 days of feeling bad compared to a lifetime of freedom? Totally worth it!
My faith in God has really pulled me through this journey. Music is also a huge help to get those endorphins flowing. My love for music returned almost immediately and I just cant ever crank it loud enough!
If anyone has any questions feel free to ask! Have a blessed day!