Okay, just a little background. Had some injuries, started in on the Hyrdos for them. Ended up getting an easy, cheap street supply. Went from 4 or 5 tens a day to as many as 13 or 14. Didn’t like the anxiety they were causing. I have some chronic pain from early onset arthritis and a pinched nerve but I took them because I liked the energy and focus. I’m not kidding myself on that front. Anyway, I am basically sick of paying the money and just being on pills. They have not impacted my life or job but I can see how they would and I’m sick of blowing money on them.
I’d say that I have been steady at 8 10’s for several months but have not gone a day without in close to a year. Some days I was taking closer to 15 especially in the past few months. So, that’s the background. And I decided I just needed to stop. There are a lot of great opportunities for my on the horizon and I don’t want to screw them up because I’m in some opiate haze… and they also just aren’t fun anymore.
So Friday I took a total of 11.5 10s, Saturday it was 13 10s, Sunday it was 9.75 10s, Monday it was 5 10s and today I have taken 2 (spaced out over 6.5 hours) and feel fine. I am prescribed buspar for anxiety as well as generic xanax .5s. I am also taking some Alegra D for some allergy issues. Last night I had no problem sleeping through the night after one hit of weed and my usual nighttime buspar. I am not a regular pot smoker but I have no problem with it and I have heard it helps at night with W/D.
My question is, as I am tapering down is it the opinion of the folks here that I still have a rough road ahead when I go down to a day without Hydro which should be Friday of this week? I am a reasonably fit man in my late 30’s. I recently completed a 42-mile canoe race. Eat little meat, etc. You know, I take care of myself in other areas. As I said, I just want to be free of the expense and kind of back to normal. I don’t think that anyone in my family or friend group has noticed that I have been changed much over the past year other than I drink much, much less. Why drink when you can catch a hangover free buzz?
I know I wont just sail through it but so much of the W/D pain when I have been forced to really trim down or go without in the past was primarily in the form of anxiety and muscle soreness and lethargy. I think I can handle all that but I am just wondering how bad folks think it will be. I think my usage pattern is probably dead in the middle of the pack and went on for nearly a year. I have a family history (one member) of alcoholism but other than that the genetic slate seems pretty clean. Of course, I would love to just pop my taper supply and catch a buzz but I have been able to get work done, visit my family, go to work etc today when I had only taken 1 10 in an 18 hour period.
I tried once before to get off of them and it was pretty easy but that was about in September of last year when I had only been abusing them for about 4 months, give or take. I got back on them for the same reasons everyone does, I guess… because they are easy and blunt the full force of the world and, for a time, make you feel like a better and more productive you. The time has come for me to end it, so any advice on soldiering through would be appreciated. Is it possible that I just got lucky and I might skate past the really nasty W/D portion of this with some anxiety and soreness? And don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel awesome, I am pretty low energy but I can hack what it is throwing at me so far.
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I am just checking back in to report on my personal progress with the taper. I have been supplementing my day with the occasional Xanax. Today it has been a .5 and 1mg spread out over about 7 hours. I took 1 10 hydro at 8AM and another at 2:30PM. It is 7PM right now and honestly, I feel fine. I did give a customer service rep a big piece of my mind at one point and send an irate email, but both deserved it. Honest they did. I just probably would not have been so stern under normal circumstances.
I went on a vigorous bike ride into a headwind and stretched a lot, but I really feel pretty good. A week ago I think I would have been climbing the walls if I had just taken 2 10mg hydros in a day but something in my head clicked and I just wanted to quit them.
But, I may be kidding myself. When the day comes, and it is coming very soon, when have to go a day without them I may be a mess. Yesterday, I only took four and slept well with the help of a very little weed, buspar and Tylenol PM as well as Alegra-D. I really think the physical exercise is helping a lot. Staying busy keeps my mind off of pills as well. What it eating me is the boredom. Like now, when it is 7PM and I’d like nothing better than to pop 2 10mg hydros and watch a movie. But, I don’t want to mess with my taper.
I know I have been taking them in smaller quantities and for a shorter duration than a lot of people on this board but I had a pretty solid year of abuse that peaked at around 15 10’s a day. So, my point is that this method is working for me so far. I hope my little story helps someone out there, because you can find yourself in some pretty dark places.
My one regret, other than letting opiates get their teeth in me in the first place, is that I don’t have anyone to share this trouble with. I don’t want to burden my parents or my girlfriend or even my friends. I told a cousin back when I quit for about a week 7 months ago but I don’t even want to bring him in on this. He doesn’t have a frame of reference to understand it with and he lives far away with a life full of its own worries. I think I would feel a whole lot better about everything if I was regularly talking to someone, but this board is an excellent proxy for that sort of thing. I’ll post again as things progress.
I noticed someone put up kind of a snippy post on another topic about how people who take opiates orally need to quit whining. I am sure the agony of long term, powerful, injected opiate use is MUCH worse than anything I can imagine, but I did want to say that everyone has their own path to follow and those kinds of comments are not constructive, IMO.
Be well.
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