My girlfriend and I (both virgins) have been trying for ages to have sex. We've been intimate for about 4 months now, so we know each other's bodies well. The first time we tried to have sex we tried to make sure we did everything right. We spent a long time on foreplay, I'd guess about half an hour, including lots of oral, and we were both very turned on by the time we got round to attempting sex. I made sure her legs were well spread, I went slowly, but I could not find anywhere to put my penis in. I have the same problem when I'm fingering her. It almost feels like there's nowhere I could possible insert anything. There's just a fairly bony layer covering where I would assume the vaginal opening would be. I'm not sure if it's the hymen (I don't even really know what that is) or something else, but even with one finger it doesn't work, she says it hurts her when I try to put it in even a tiny bit. I know first time sex usually hurts the girl but she genuinely cannot stand it. We've been together for nearly a year and a half now, so we're pretty serious about this, and we'd be really grateful for any advice.
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Hello Tem, I don't know how old you and your girlfriend are, but if she is old enough to be experimenting with sex then she is old enough to go see a gynecologist. A gynecologist can give her a pelvic exam to make sure that everything is normal in her vagina and pelvic region. Her hymen is not bony or hard, the hymen (if still intact) is a soft, delicate piece of tissue that should tear away rather easily upon penetration of either your finger or penis. Yes, there can be a little pain for a woman during the first sexual experience, however, it shouldn't be to the point of being unbearable, so she should see her doctor to rule out any problems so that she can have a pleasant first experience. I should note that if her hymen is indeed intact and she has a pelvic exam, there is the chance that her hymen could be broken during that exam, and that that does in no way mean that she is not a virgin any more. She is only not a virgin after her first sexual intercourse experience. I hope this was helpful. Good luck to you both.
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