Okay. So my boyfriend and I are quite curious, and have been discussing sex more and more. We aren't gonna like do it yet cuz we aren't ready and we wanna do some research on it. We are both virgins. We are both worried about the effect it will have on me. I've seen posts on here about girls bleeding and even having a late period. I know everyone's body is different but if someone could at least help us try to like understand, that'd be awesome. We just kind of want to know what to expect. Please and thank you!!! :-D
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1) A lot of things can break your hymen, from intense sports to horseback riding, or even using a tampon, but those things are rare.
2) Well, expecting the guy you're about to have sex with is a boy you're close to and have been with for a while, the guy will know your a virgin, so he should know about breakage of the hymen and all that good stuff =p And if he thinks thats disgusting, he's not mature enough to be having sex in the first place. Plus he's an insensitive douche bag who doesn't deserve something special like virginity.
3) If you're hymen breaks during sex, you'll know because of the pain and the blood afterward.
4) To tear it yourself just insert something into your vagina make sure it is clean and nothing sharp and make sure it isn't extremely large.
Make sure you use a condom when you have intercourse. You shouldn't miss your period. You will be perfectly fine maybe a little bit sore but thats why I advise you to tear it yourself, it wont be as sore. I hope this helps you.
2) Well, expecting the guy you're about to have sex with is a boy you're close to and have been with for a while, the guy will know your a virgin, so he should know about breakage of the hymen and all that good stuff =p And if he thinks thats disgusting, he's not mature enough to be having sex in the first place. Plus he's an insensitive douche bag who doesn't deserve something special like virginity.
3) If you're hymen breaks during sex, you'll know because of the pain and the blood afterward.
4) To tear it yourself just insert something into your vagina make sure it is clean and nothing sharp and make sure it isn't extremely large.
Make sure you use a condom when you have intercourse. You shouldn't miss your period. You will be perfectly fine maybe a little bit sore but thats why I advise you to tear it yourself, it wont be as sore. I hope this helps you.
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thanks for the advice! my boyfriend and i aren't planning to do this anytime soon, we just wanna do research so we kind of have an idea of what to expect. as i said we both are virgins. if theres anything else someone wants to add please do (: thanks again!
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Anon,
First off I have to applaud you and your boyfriend for actually sitting down and talking about having sex. Most teenagers are not responsible enough to do that today. The fact that you are willing to do research and ask questions beforehand and not after the fact show that people are actually sort of raising their kids with intelligence.
Your first time is not going to be all fireworks and glory. For the most part, it is going to suck for at least you, maybe not him (No offense).
As perfectly-Unperfect has stated, if your hymen hasn't been broken already, it will be. Your boyfriend may not bring you to full orgasm and you may feel sick or throw up. It also may only last between a few seconds and a few minutes. (Again no offense.) if you decide to break your hymen on your own or your boyfriend breaks it for you, you may not feel anything or you might and there could be some blood.
Wear a condom when you do decide to have sex because you can still get pregnant even if its your first time.
Hope that helps
Holmestrix
First off I have to applaud you and your boyfriend for actually sitting down and talking about having sex. Most teenagers are not responsible enough to do that today. The fact that you are willing to do research and ask questions beforehand and not after the fact show that people are actually sort of raising their kids with intelligence.
Your first time is not going to be all fireworks and glory. For the most part, it is going to suck for at least you, maybe not him (No offense).
As perfectly-Unperfect has stated, if your hymen hasn't been broken already, it will be. Your boyfriend may not bring you to full orgasm and you may feel sick or throw up. It also may only last between a few seconds and a few minutes. (Again no offense.) if you decide to break your hymen on your own or your boyfriend breaks it for you, you may not feel anything or you might and there could be some blood.
Wear a condom when you do decide to have sex because you can still get pregnant even if its your first time.
Hope that helps
Holmestrix
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I want to challenge what Perfectly-Unperfect has advised you.
Rather than attempt to tear or rip your hymen yourself, I would advise you to go to your family doctor. Ask them for advice on how to deal with this.
Remember, they will keep in confidence what you ask and tell them, and they have heard this all before.
Therefore, a simple question asking "How tough is my hymen? Will I need any help before I can begin to have sex?" will not set off alarm bells. In fact, it would be fair enough to ask if it is still intact, or if you should expect that sports in school might contribute to it tearing.
Your doctor might even offer to snip it or at least make an examination to make certain all is in working order for you.
While you don't mention your age, you should begin regular GYN examinations as part of your health care, as you reach maturity.
Now, your doctor may also advise you how to prepare yourself, or what you should expect, but I'd be surprised if they recommend what Perfectly-Unperfect has suggested.
Good luck.
Rather than attempt to tear or rip your hymen yourself, I would advise you to go to your family doctor. Ask them for advice on how to deal with this.
Remember, they will keep in confidence what you ask and tell them, and they have heard this all before.
Therefore, a simple question asking "How tough is my hymen? Will I need any help before I can begin to have sex?" will not set off alarm bells. In fact, it would be fair enough to ask if it is still intact, or if you should expect that sports in school might contribute to it tearing.
Your doctor might even offer to snip it or at least make an examination to make certain all is in working order for you.
While you don't mention your age, you should begin regular GYN examinations as part of your health care, as you reach maturity.
Now, your doctor may also advise you how to prepare yourself, or what you should expect, but I'd be surprised if they recommend what Perfectly-Unperfect has suggested.
Good luck.
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rapidfire: none offense taken. i already know that i will get the sucky end here. we're still discussing which route to take. we have plenty of time. we are only 20 lol thanks for the advice!
kevin b: thank you for your advice. visiting a doctor right now is going to be quite a challenge right now because i am still on my parents' insurance and so i think my mother or father may need to be with me. and i dont wanna discuss this in front of them/with them until my boyfriend and i discuss it more and get a little bit more knowledge about the steps we are going to take together in our future.
thanks so much for your help guys! i shall share this information with my boyfriend and if u can think of anything else feel free to tell(:
kevin b: thank you for your advice. visiting a doctor right now is going to be quite a challenge right now because i am still on my parents' insurance and so i think my mother or father may need to be with me. and i dont wanna discuss this in front of them/with them until my boyfriend and i discuss it more and get a little bit more knowledge about the steps we are going to take together in our future.
thanks so much for your help guys! i shall share this information with my boyfriend and if u can think of anything else feel free to tell(:
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At age 20, you are certainly of an age where you can seek medical advice on your own. And it would make sense for a mature woman to have an GYN exam. No doctor is going to be shocked by your inquiry.
You ought to be able to seek a medical exam at a medicial clinic on your own.
PLEASE be sure to plan to use protection from the very beginning. Every time. This is SO important.
PS: May I recommend that you pick up a book or two to read up... try either "Sex is fun" by Kidder Kaper or the longer, more comprehensive "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides.
Good luck.
You ought to be able to seek a medical exam at a medicial clinic on your own.
PLEASE be sure to plan to use protection from the very beginning. Every time. This is SO important.
PS: May I recommend that you pick up a book or two to read up... try either "Sex is fun" by Kidder Kaper or the longer, more comprehensive "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides.
Good luck.
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Guest,
I may have to look into those books.
Everyone keeps saying to use protection, and we've planned on it from day one.
I've already explained the medical situation. Definitely with time.
Thanks again!
Keep the advice coming(:
I may have to look into those books.
Everyone keeps saying to use protection, and we've planned on it from day one.
I've already explained the medical situation. Definitely with time.
Thanks again!
Keep the advice coming(:
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im not going to say much because most of it has been said but make shore that u take it esey for your first few time
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you are quite right to prepare yourselves and be prepared. You never know when the occasion arrives. No one is ever ready for sex. Even if you are 30 you can be in a situation where you dont think you are ready for sex.
This readiness thing is milked so much and I think that is the wrong emphasis. What is more important is to prepare yourself, read up, understand your bodies , understand about pregnancy and STDs and take precautions when sex happens.
Just let it happen spontaneously. Dont plan, dont fix a date. BE PREPARED so when it happes you both are safe. Sex is meant to be enjoyed not shelved!!
We are wired to have sex NOT to remain falsely "pure and chaste"
That is total garbage. You do it when you are prepared. The key is to be prepared NOT ready.
This readiness thing is milked so much and I think that is the wrong emphasis. What is more important is to prepare yourself, read up, understand your bodies , understand about pregnancy and STDs and take precautions when sex happens.
Just let it happen spontaneously. Dont plan, dont fix a date. BE PREPARED so when it happes you both are safe. Sex is meant to be enjoyed not shelved!!
We are wired to have sex NOT to remain falsely "pure and chaste"
That is total garbage. You do it when you are prepared. The key is to be prepared NOT ready.
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