Will I ever be normal again?

Well most importanly yes, the drinking, take a month or two months break from it so you can balance the dopamine levels  in your head, and it really calms down moodswings (yes when your feeling down after drinking its your body trying to tell you it's time to calm down a bit with the alcohol). I learned the alcohol related stuff the hard way my self!..And yea you will get better eventually with the mood no matter what, it will pass eventually, but never be afraid to tell your doctor that you are not ok with your depression. 

I've been there. I lost a job I loved and i became depressed. I didn't drink but I had other negative coping techniques.
You need to use positive thinking. Drink in moderation don't drink to get drunk, but I am glad to see you decided to stop drinking all together as alcohol is a depressant. Go to the gym, go for walks/hikes/bike rides with friends these get your endorphins going which are natural highs.
What you went through with your friend seems that it was an anxiety related issue. if you keep having these you need to speak with a doctor as I live with this daily and I can tell you from experience it ruins a lot of things you have going for you.
things will get better you just have to believe they will.

Thanks for your replies guys! (it is me I had to make a new account lost password).

Since that day, my panic attacks have got better. In fact I havnt had one. However, I do tend to wake up with a racing heart rate and feel "horrible" generally. What is happening tho is that I feel pretty sad all day. Like there is a lump im throat all the time, like anything I could burst into tears at any moment.

If I am out and about doing things, I can laugh and have fun and maybe even forget about it. But then when I am on my own I think of this "depression" and then I start getting really upset and scared.

My MAJOR fear is that I have broken my brain and I will never be happy!!! I'm afraid I will never just have "normal" emotions again!

I just hope that when I move out and get this job this will sorted becuase this past month has be horrible. Will it go away? I am so scare it wont?

Surely it isnt normal to feel on the edge of tears all day? I feel like the only one?

i feel like this most often. i just booked my wedding and am sick to my stomach as it is something new, i will be in front of a bunch of people and its a life changing event. its to the point where i am stuck in bed with such horrible stomach pains I cant go to work.

it seems as if your problem started when you lost your job and moved back home. i think once you are out again on your own and start working things will slowly get back to normal. you need to keep yourself busy when you are alone and learn to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy its basically stopping in the moment thinking why do i feel this way? what caused it? on a scale of 1-100 how severe is it? is there anything i can do to change the situation? basically walk yourself through your issue.

as for being on the edge of tears all day im with you i have just come off meds though so i am edgy as i am feeling emotions i havent felt in a while

Thankyou so much for your nice reply.

AFter I talk it out with friends logically, I feel much better and reassured. I went to my friends house before and played computed games and we had a great time. I didn't feel any sadness whatseover. I started feeling slightly nervous when I was on my way home because I starting thinking "oh no im going to be on my own". But I feel quite calm and composed typing this now.

I just have this fear at the back of my mind of being sad. I am afraid of being depressed and anxious. I know my situation will sort itself out. So what I am feeling now is totally illocgical? I am actually depressed about being depressed? I am anxious of waking up and feel on edge and sad?!

I don't want to label myself as clinically depressed because, I have seen know people in the past with real depression and it was truly awful for them. They didnt seem to have a "moment of peace" at any point of the day. Where is I am fortunate enough to be able to take my mind of the sadness for a while. Plus the fact of the matter is I do have a root cause for feeling this way?

For now I think I am just afraid of being sad and anxious, as I have never felt this sad in my life - quite a shock! So I am depressed about being depressed? A strange paradox?

The thing is I have never really been in touch with my emotions, I have always been quite cold. As my girlfriend said to me, this is all new to me really, these overwhelming feelings. So it's super disorientating fo me. I have learnt my lessons not to keep my feelings inside in future. I believe I had an emotional breakdown the other week as a result of putting up with things for too long.

I just hope I can be positive and recover. Because at the moment I am my own worst enemy.

Where could I learn some of this Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

you can get cognitive behaviour therapy work books online i used one called Mind Over Mood by Christine Padesky. Check clips out on Youtube or read up on some reviews of it to see if it is something you would be interested in doing. Eventually you wouldn't need the book anymore as you would be able to do it in  your head. I believe you will get better just dont dwell on those feelings think of the positives you will be ok :-)

I've just ordered the book.

 

I have noticed that I am waking up in the morning feeling really ill and down. I am having very, very intense vivid dreams at the moment, too. The first thought on my mind as soon as I wake up is "how do I feel today". Not a good thing to think. As the day goes on, it can slowly get better. Usually I feel almost fine at night time, but now I have developed this fear of waking up the next day feeling sad/anxious.

Really strange. Hopefully the book will have some answers!

I cannot wait to feel normal again. :(

push those thoughts out of your head when you wake up think of what you are going to do today plan your day ahead of time so it gives you something to look forward too. hopefully the book will help.