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hi good people of the world!!

As my title subject shows here , I really can't take it anymore the pain im suffering. Depression is killing me:(

Im trying to do everything possible to continue living but its to no avail. Now im really scared because my find cant focus and tells me that SUICIDE is something to be afraid of:(( I think im getting more closer to the edge but still part of me is still fighting to survive my life.

Yesterday I met a very good friend of mine hes depressed too and we went out having a coffee and an ice-cream and talked a lot about us . He gave me a bit of courage but today i feel misrebale once again.

Im starting to Hate life!!! . I dont know why but life seems to suck I cant look at the clock hangin to the kitchen wall because i feel paranoid and see that time passes very slowly and im becoming lazy.!!!

I come from a very good background. I have a very good family who loves me and take care of me and my gf !!!. My gf she loves me a lot!!!

I dont know y i feel like this sh*t. I always pray to God in the mornin. but im tired. My mind is tired , my body is tired I cant ebjoy life as it was before. I hate myself and when i see good looking guys i feel very low . Im not ugly i know because when i go out girls look at me a lot. But there are parts in my body that i hate them .

God im tired:(( of it plz help me i cant take it anymore im a very sensitive person and im afraid i will do something stupid soon and I will lose the battle and everything:((


Tell me people pls WHAT CAN I DO!!!??? My anxiety is getting less thanks GOD but my sadness is growing more!!:(xxx


Regards your friend
Gilbert from Malta

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I am really sorry to hear that you are not doing very well. Unfortunately, I don't know of any suicide hotlines in Malta but if you can find any then you should call them to talk to someone. This is not a problem that is going to go away on its own so you should see a doctor and talk to them about a possible course of treatment. Have you ever seen a therapist or anything like that? It would be a really good idea to see one because they can help you out quite a bit. Have you considered antidepressants too? They would be really helpful for you as well. Please consider doing this because it can help you out a lot. Keep us posted, okay?
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try omega 3 ...fish oil...see a doctor..lots of treatable things can cause depression..thyroid..etc.
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Dear Gilbert: I looked into a few sites for you in Malta all I could find was this link below.

http://www.sahha.gov.mt/pages.aspx?page=184

The main psychiatric hospital is in Attard - Mount Carmel Hospital - 356-21-415183 You can phone there anytime for help

Here is a site I found for another person who is suffering as you are.

http://www.enotalone.com/article/3075.html

Gilbert, you need too know that 1st you are NOT alone, 2nd that there IS help out there for you. Anxiety is a HUGE factor in Millions of peoples lives! To outsiders your life can look perfect, but inside of you the turmoil that your mind is in, is inexplicable!!

You reached out too us Gilbert, now you need too reach out too professional people that can help you overcome this terrible time for you. It is NOTHING too be ashamed of. It is NOTHING that you can help or be in control of - YET! You need to be able to find the tools and help that you need.

I KNOW when you are in moments of darkness you think that taking your life is the only way out!!! It isn't!!! I have had friends and friends loved ones that have taken their lives and the pain and destruction that is left behind, I don't think ANYONE of them intended too put on the people left behind. You love your GF, your family, and they you! Too leave them with so much tragedy and despair is not what you want for them is it?! They want you too be the boy/man that they know and love. And you can be my love, you can be! You just need too put trust in others and ask for help.

I promise you Gilbert, this terrible time WILL be a distant memory. MANY have been through what you are going through and they are happy, productive members of society with families and jobs AND a promising future!!! So please reach out too this hospital OK? And read the different Anxiety disorders, I'm sure one of those or maybe a lot of those will click with you. And then you will know that they didn't just type this up for 1 person!!! They typed it up for TENS OF THOUSANDS of people.

Please keep talking and ask for help. Let me know if there is anything else you need. And I will track it down for you OK? Don't give up hon, it WILL be better soon. God Bless and Good health!
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Thanks a lot bambi27 for your help and post.


Somtimes i feel that im getting better . Really i dont know how this state affects all the sufferers. Somtimes i think that my symptoms are unique and are different from the other sufferers.

Hopefully my anxieties are very low . Before i used to be afraid from no reason or feeling to faint. I had a lot of slurred speaech kind like i couldnt speak good. (Couldnt find the workds!!!)

Yesterday i went out with my friends to party . Its a pity that i cannot drink with them because im afraid of the alcahol interections with the medications.

I felt bad because my friends dont know that im depressed and they were buying me alcahol drinks and I was throwing them on the floor without letting them noticing what I was doing.

I felt very happy yesterday with my friends . I was dancing and having fun like I was totally normal.:-)))

I enetered at 5.30 am this morning and I slept 8 hours till 1 pm and I woke up pretty good. Now as Im writing this post I feel a bit down again but tonight im working at my hotel as an entairtainer and I will be in good mood again.

Bambi27 you seem like a nice person I would like to know about u more if you dont mind but I cant send any emails here ::-(((( because they dont let us unfortunatley. Anyway thanks for your kind help God will reward you a lot !!!


Best Regards,

Gil From Malta
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Hi Gilbert; Thankyou for the nice words, the drinking can be resolved by just saying that you're trying not too drink right now - getting healthy! Just remember Gilbert, that being happy can start being more often. It is TOTALLY normal too be happy one day and the next day not so much. So don't try and wonder if you are depressed on the down days OK? Just think, this isn't a great day and tommorrow will be better.

If it gets too much though there is always help out there, I noticed on the other sites that you are on medication. So just think that you ARE getting help, and things WILL be better.

As for me, I am a wife, mother of 2 teenage boys, I am not working due to a disability. I have 5 animals 3 dogs and 2 cats. I live in Canada, Malta sounds like a WONDERFUL place!! We went too France and Britain 5 years ago. And we LOVED the south of France, my next dream destination is Italy - Tuscany! So one day we will make it.

I hope you feel better each day Gilbert! Take care!
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hey people ive passed a week and a half with no symptoms of anxiety or depressed:) . I slept good and didnt woke up at nights.

Today im a bit depressed again:( Sometimes its happening once in a while , like I say from a in 2 weeks im 4 days derpessed on average.

The thing is that im still eating good now with no problems and my weight gained a little too:) I like it because im a bit skinny but not too much. My anxiety levels have gone very low too . Before I use to be much more tensed and fidgety and fear of nothin , depersonalization. Very few now. Maybe Im getting better by time.!!!

I want to keep on taking my medications but i will try to exercise my mind not to let the doses go higher. I want to stay on my dose which ive been taken for more than a year now!!!!....


I have times when Im really feeling good especially when I go out with my friends to party in the clubs ( Im drinking some alcahol with them i will feel funny if I go out to party and to to drink at least a few glasses!!:(xx


Yes today i was a bit depressed quite a well but now I feel better Im going to the club to play snooker and I will meet my good friends there and forget everything. Lately Ive passed from seperation from my marriage can it affect me psychologically in my subconcious??? Because I think very little about it!!!

What makes me alarmed and feel depressed is that How am I going to get back to normal. Depression sucks people and I will join each one of you whos passing from this hell in this world to try and keep on going even though you feel so despaired!!!!


Take care all of you were a bunch of generation who needs a lot of support for each other and thanks God that man invented the computer and thers internet which brings us very close to each other:))

Have a great Day
Gil (Im still surviving!!:)xxx
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You will continue to survive honey!! Just know that lows are totally normal and don't be so hard on yourself when they do!! God bless Gil!
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