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After leaving school and being nervous/paranoid, I met up w. a friend and we went to my dad's house and smoked some really good hydro (marijuana). I was sitting there on my bed playing a little guitar after we smoked and then out of nowhere...BAM! I started freaking out and said something like "Let's go" because I didn't know what was going on. It was the worst feeling ever. We left and I said let's go to town. On the way there, I asked him what was in the pot and he said "nothing." I didn't believe him, of course, because this never happened to me before when I smoked. I asked him the same question probably another 5 times. Still, he replied w. "nothing. Its knockout nug." I thought there was heroin or something in it. I was in the most fear I'd ever been in in my entire life. We walked to my aunt's and on the way there I felt nauseous, dizzy, light-headed, thought I was going to die (basically all the symptoms) and couldn't stop telling myself "You won't be alive tomorrow. This is it." I ALMOST CALLED 911. I made myself throw up because I thought I might have food poisoning, but I was wrong. I got sick again a little after we had left and headed towards my dad's again. These feelings of dread and panic would NOT GO AWAY. I had no idea what was happening to me. A million thoughts were racing through my head. We went to my aunt's house again and I thought sitting down and chilling out might help, but it didn't. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I called my sister and told her to come get me because I thought I smoked bad pot. She asked my friend what was in it and he told her the same thing he told me, NOTHING. We stopped at the store before going home and she said I was having a panic attack. I didn't believe her and kept asking her if it was something internally wrong with me. She said no, but I didn't believe her. We eventually got home and my mom seemed nervous, which made me even more paranoid. I told her I'd smoked pot and she called my friend and asked what was in it. Again, NOTHING WAS IN IT. I wanted to sleep, but I was sure I was going to die. My mom called my aunt, a nurse, and asked what was going on. She said I just smoked really good pot and that I was having a panic attack. I eventually laid down on my bed w. my mom and dog because I was too scared to lay down and go to sleep by myself. She told me everything was fine, but of course I didn't believe her. My dad called later and said the same thing my aunt said. Just good pot and that I was having a panic attack and that I was fine. I eventually got put on Klonopin and Paxil, which I'm still taking. My parents took me out of high school that year because I missed a lot of it getting used to the medication and I had so much work to make up it stressed me out. I was scared to leave the house for days. I barely made it through going out to eat @ Friendly's w. my friends because I was dreading a panic attack was coming on every minute of every hour.
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I smoked pot a couple of times since then and had a few panic attacks, but I knew what they were so I was calmer than before, but still very scared. The LAST time I smoked I had a BADDD panic attack, which in my opinion was worse than the first because I got really hot and sweaty and almost cried because it was so bad (Again, basically all the symptoms). I thought there was crack or something in it. INSANE PANIC ATTACK I might add. I've stopped doing it since then, but NOW I'm always worried people are trying to put LSD, poison, and things of that caliber in my drinks. I can't ever get the thought out of my mind. I always think I'm going to be drugged and can't ever go to work w/o feeling anxious. If a drop of bleach flies in the air, I'm paranoid it'll touch my lip and I'll die. It's THAT bad. The smallest, stupidest things make me insanely paranoid. I LIVE ANXIOUS EVERYDAY NOW. Why me? I hate these feelings. I feel like the old me died March 9th. I feel I'm a diff. person and I just wanna be normal again like I was before I started experiencing these attacks. Depersonalization and derealization own me now. :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(
WILL THIS EVER GO AWAY???????????????
-- Christian (Male/19)
also i realized that it tended to get worse if parents were around or someone who could catch you, and yea now i can use weed to calm my anxiety taking my mind off of things that are bothering me even with that much weed.
ever sense that day my anxiety got worst and when i smoke pot i get panic attacks or high anxiety. i feel as if im disconnected from the world
and i just get so deep in my thoughts u just feel like you cant answer or reply to anyone even if u want to. im now currently taking serequil and believe its
20 mg its haveing an ok effect for now dont have hardcore fear but still deep down in the back of my head its there. like you cant ignore it. sometimes i juss dont wanna live i dont mean to say this i just hate anxiety. nd i dont kno if makeing my mg dose will make it better some advice?
but for now i support everyone with anxiety =]
and dont worry better days will come
hope my shares have made you look up and feel supported thanks
So does anyone have any tips or salutions to my problems? I would really appreciate it if someone helps me. anyinfo can help.. for now im goin to try to stay strong.
I have read out all the comments
and i am glad to know that people from all over the world are discussing their problems relating Panic Disorder and Anxiety Disorder etc.
i have been feeling Anxious for one and half year. i have been having panic attacks too.
Feeling like my heart is beating fast, something is wrong with my heart, feeling vertigo, and burning in palms and toes and around neck, and feel abdominal and gastrointestinal distress.
but a strange feeling that i have is that i feel my scrotum (testis sac) contract and relax during the stress and when i am anxious.
i don't know why i feel like this.
further more when ever i am feeling like to having something very good like i am buying new clothes or any thing very exciting, or if someone is giving me surprise, or something new and exciting is gonna happen which make me feel joy and happy, I feel stress and anxious
even the event is going to happen very late but i feel anxious and worried many days ahead.
whats more i am loosing my weight too. my parent, friends and every one is saying that i have become so thin.. and skinny... even i eat normally as i use to do before..
I have consulted a Psychiatrist in my town and he has prescribed me Citalopram and Lorazepam as well .
Lorazepam helps me sometimes at night time when i feel anxious before i fall asleep. But Citalopram is making my condition more work because of side effects. And i have been trying to be regular about taking citalopram cuz its effect go on fading after continuous usage. But i am afraid that i am unable to take my dose continuously.
Tell me if any one is having the same situation and... what he/she has adopted to make them feel good any medication of whatever..
and please tell me someone how to get my normal weight back.. any one who has been losing weight but he adopted or used something very good and became Healthy..
Take care Every one ..
Thank you SOOOOOO much for your post, because I have had the same problem for years (its not that bad all the time, dont be afraid of my saying "years") and I have never found someone else who has the problem with always being afraid of being poisoned. I cannot thank you enough because honestly just knowing there is another human being with the same problem is really therapy in itself. Its scary thinking you are the only one with a strange paranoia, but when someone else has the same thing, it feels better, like now you are not that alone. So THANK YOU! Keep blogging and posting.
It all started back when i just turned 18, I had just graduated high school. i was your average Joe teen, smoking cigars occasionally with friends, drinking excessively at times, creating havoc. Then one night i was introduced to weed by some of my friends. I swore i would never do any hardcore drugs, but i felt weed was never under a dangerous category. If anything i felt cigarettes should be banned. The first couple of times i smoked i really wasn't "high", but at the time i felt like i was... either because of the inexperience or because i was making myself believe i was high because i wanted to believe it that much. Then within that month of smoking only on the weekends with my friends, one night it finally hit me like a ton of bricks, the cognitive,intellectual, philosophical thinking began to dwell in my head. I didn't know what to do, there was so much information being registered in my head at once... the music, the fan from the computers, the laughs, the ringing of the ears, the aromas, the vivid colors and shapes, the ideas and cognitive thoughts... i was seeing reality from a different perspective. First couple of experiences scared me from smoking pot for a while, it was just to different and new.. but after a couple of more times i learned to accept the high.. and to trust it wasn't going to hurt me...From then on, i was completely intrigued with this plant... i wanted to experiment with it in every situation. I really enjoyed doing it with my friends, but then i started to really get into it solo. So from practically doing it every weekend, it became everyday... I wanted my high to become my life... it felt better.
I've taken breaks occasionally but not long ones. After 5 years of smoking pot, i'm really starting to discover what damage i have done physiologically by using pot as a reward system. Anything + weed = amazing time was my new formula. I would get high just to pass the time at work,school, to get "better" sleep, making every meal extra delicious,everything felt new again, adventurous. I wasn't scared of trying to get more and more high... i wanted to let go and to open my mind. I use to have anxiety attacks when i first used pot, but now i have to smoke to stop stress, headaches, upset stomach and anxiety attacks. One time i ran out of weed on vacation with my g.f and i couldn't sleep because i kept thinking about how i should be smoking now.. and how it will make me feel this way.. or solve my upset stomach. I thought so much i made myself believe i had to puke. Then i started to get heat flashes. As i thought about what had happened i started to see a correlation between what i was using the weed for and what side effects i was having when i wasn't high. I hate using this word but... this ADDICTION is pretty real. I've created this new life with weed... and I'm still slowly trying to swing off this stuff so I'm not dependent on it. I know i should cut it cold turkey.. but having anxiety attacks scare the sh*t out of me, death feels so close... i just hope going slow will work less painfully. Well i hope some of you gain insight. I just needed to let all this out of my head!
I've heard (and feel so myself, now that i tried it) and want to pass on this advice: meditation helps loads.
And sorry if my grammar horrible I'm on my phone and it's touch screen. Not easy when you have nails LOL
There is a very likely chance that what you have experienced was a premature/ spontaneous Kundalini awakening, or otherwise known as Kundalini syndrome. It is not a bad thing, although it DEFINITELY seems like it. Pretty much what happens is, a spiritual transformation takes place before your physical, emotional, and spiritual body are ready, thus throwing you into a state of intense fear and panic. Kundalini is the innate energy at the base of the spine. Kundalini Syndrome also occurs when this energy is channeled into the body and met by negative energy. Symptoms are unaffectionately described as a combination of sensory, motor, and mental changes. Kundalini syndrome is different from a Kundalini episode in that the syndrome develops gradually over several months or years. This could destabilize the person causing what is known as a "spiritual emergency". According to Paramhans Swami Maheshwarananda awakening of kundalini shows itself as "awakening of inner knowledge". Like every form of energy one must also learn to understand spiritual energy. In order to be able to integrate this spiritual energy, careful purification and strengthening of the body and nervous system are required beforehand. By trying to force results considerable psychic disturbances and at times even permanent mental damage can occur. A spiritual master who walked this path before is required to guide the aspirant. Often, it will be found that negative experiences occur only when acting without appropriate guidance or ignoring advice. This acctivation could be through several things. To name a few there are, Near death experiences, trauma (could even be from the panicked state from smoking), deep mediation, and what I've come to realize, being way too much of a deep thinker. The symptoms include :
* Other sensory and motor symptoms may include: the feeling of cranial pressures, the perception of inner sounds, experiences of inner lights, vibrating or tickling sensations in the lower back, tachycardia (rapid heart rate), changes in breathing, spontaneous bodily movements, sensations of heat or cold moving through the body, localized bodily pain that starts and stops abruptly, vibrations and itching under the skin, and unusual, or intense, sexual sensations .
* Mental and affective symptoms include: fear, anxiety, depersonalization , intense positive or negative emotions, spontaneous slowing or speeding of thoughts, spontaneous trance states, experiencing oneself as larger than the physical body , and experiences of paranormal consciousness .
Summary of known problems: Death, pseudo death, psychosis, pseudo psychosis, confusion, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, sadness, suicidal thoughts, urges to self-mutilate, homicidal urges, arrhythmia (irregular heart beat), exacerbation of prior or current mental illness, insomnia, inability to hold a job, inability to talk, inability to drive, sexual pains, temporary blindness, and headaches
(Wikipedia reference )
This does not necessarily mean all symptoms.
I overcame my problem by finding a spiritual path. Meditating, researching spiritualism in all aspects, Kundalini Riki healings and attunements, and working with energy to replenish, activate, and balance my chakras.
I feel reborn and understand what a great gift this actually was.
please read more about it. Again I'm only trying to help.