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March 9, 2006

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After leaving school and being nervous/paranoid, I met up w. a friend and we went to my dad's house and smoked some really good hydro (marijuana). I was sitting there on my bed playing a little guitar after we smoked and then out of nowhere...BAM! I started freaking out and said something like "Let's go" because I didn't know what was going on. It was the worst feeling ever. We left and I said let's go to town. On the way there, I asked him what was in the pot and he said "nothing." I didn't believe him, of course, because this never happened to me before when I smoked. I asked him the same question probably another 5 times. Still, he replied w. "nothing. Its knockout nug." I thought there was heroin or something in it. I was in the most fear I'd ever been in in my entire life. We walked to my aunt's and on the way there I felt nauseous, dizzy, light-headed, thought I was going to die (basically all the symptoms) and couldn't stop telling myself "You won't be alive tomorrow. This is it." I ALMOST CALLED 911. I made myself throw up because I thought I might have food poisoning, but I was wrong. I got sick again a little after we had left and headed towards my dad's again. These feelings of dread and panic would NOT GO AWAY. I had no idea what was happening to me. A million thoughts were racing through my head. We went to my aunt's house again and I thought sitting down and chilling out might help, but it didn't. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I called my sister and told her to come get me because I thought I smoked bad pot. She asked my friend what was in it and he told her the same thing he told me, NOTHING. We stopped at the store before going home and she said I was having a panic attack. I didn't believe her and kept asking her if it was something internally wrong with me. She said no, but I didn't believe her. We eventually got home and my mom seemed nervous, which made me even more paranoid. I told her I'd smoked pot and she called my friend and asked what was in it. Again, NOTHING WAS IN IT. I wanted to sleep, but I was sure I was going to die. My mom called my aunt, a nurse, and asked what was going on. She said I just smoked really good pot and that I was having a panic attack. I eventually laid down on my bed w. my mom and dog because I was too scared to lay down and go to sleep by myself. She told me everything was fine, but of course I didn't believe her. My dad called later and said the same thing my aunt said. Just good pot and that I was having a panic attack and that I was fine. I eventually got put on Klonopin and Paxil, which I'm still taking. My parents took me out of high school that year because I missed a lot of it getting used to the medication and I had so much work to make up it stressed me out. I was scared to leave the house for days. I barely made it through going out to eat @ Friendly's w. my friends because I was dreading a panic attack was coming on every minute of every hour.

Present

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I smoked pot a couple of times since then and had a few panic attacks, but I knew what they were so I was calmer than before, but still very scared. The LAST time I smoked I had a BADDD panic attack, which in my opinion was worse than the first because I got really hot and sweaty and almost cried because it was so bad (Again, basically all the symptoms). I thought there was crack or something in it. INSANE PANIC ATTACK I might add. I've stopped doing it since then, but NOW I'm always worried people are trying to put LSD, poison, and things of that caliber in my drinks. I can't ever get the thought out of my mind. I always think I'm going to be drugged and can't ever go to work w/o feeling anxious. If a drop of bleach flies in the air, I'm paranoid it'll touch my lip and I'll die. It's THAT bad. The smallest, stupidest things make me insanely paranoid. I LIVE ANXIOUS EVERYDAY NOW. Why me? I hate these feelings. I feel like the old me died March 9th. I feel I'm a diff. person and I just wanna be normal again like I was before I started experiencing these attacks. Depersonalization and derealization own me now. :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

WILL THIS EVER GO AWAY???????????????

-- Christian (Male/19)

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EDIT: After I experienced these attacks, I realized I had one after smoking when I was 13 and that I was having derealization and depersonalization from smoking just prior to having my 3/9/06 attack.
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Celebrity
286 posts
Yes they will go away but not if you don't take action. Join a CBT group or read some CBT books like the one by Sam Obitz and start doing the thought countering excise called the TEA form and learn to think more objectively and be able to calm yourself dsown before the pnaic takes hold of you. CBT is the most effective treatment available for panic disorder with an over 80% success rate.
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so actually the 2nd time i smoked pot! i had a really bad panic attack which was because of my anxiety, so i ended up smoking it again and i had one sooo bad i almost thought i died like i just remember saying in my mind omg im dying and freaking out cuz i didn't want to die. anyways back to my subject. and after that i had some weird idea that i could like calm myself before i got high, like as i started to freak out i just said to calm down everything's fine, and so on and eventually i was able to get realllly high without any freaking out.

also i realized that it tended to get worse if parents were around or someone who could catch you, and yea now i can use weed to calm my anxiety taking my mind off of things that are bothering me even with that much weed.
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ever sense my first major panic attack that took over my body and i couldnt move didnt wanna talk didnt wanna move just layed there in my bed basically disabled it was the worst feeling in the world but i got through it
ever sense that day my anxiety got worst and when i smoke pot i get panic attacks or high anxiety. i feel as if im disconnected from the world
and i just get so deep in my thoughts u just feel like you cant answer or reply to anyone even if u want to. im now currently taking serequil and believe its
20 mg its haveing an ok effect for now dont have hardcore fear but still deep down in the back of my head its there. like you cant ignore it. sometimes i juss dont wanna live i dont mean to say this i just hate anxiety. nd i dont kno if makeing my mg dose will make it better some advice?
but for now i support everyone with anxiety =]
and dont worry better days will come
hope my shares have made you look up and feel supported thanks
rodrigo .
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Hi my name is Rj and im 19. I recently just got what I think is anxiety, there was just this one day where it just randomly happen, I wasent ever depressed infact I loved my life with every second of it so I thought how could this be anxiety if im not depressed?? It just happen to me like a week after 4th of july and that it kept hittin me in waves, I started to slowly notice on how my emotions just kept gettin drained I feel like i couldnt laughf or injoy life and it just kept gettin worse as soon as I thought I was gettin better it would just hit me in another wave of non happy feelings. I would go to sleep and hopefully I wake up normal again and it would terrify me even more when I didnt and it still does. It really sux not being able to feel the normal injoyments in life, like heres a test a put to I am what u can say a pot head. I would smoke a bowl with my friends and you know just laughf and have a super fun time, but these last couple of days when i was high I wouldnt even beable to laughf or be happy and that what weed does it gives u a different kind of happy then being sober. As soon as I noticed that I wasent laugfing or talking with my friends when we wer high I noticed how bad this can be and it started to give me a real bad trip and a very high anxiety whitch i kept havin alot of negitive thoughts cause i was high and I would scare myself to death. I went from smokin everyday to being sober. I decided im not gonna smoke for awhile or until I get pass this cause this has to be the most scariest feeling I have ever delt with in my life.. I really hope I get through this and become normal again because i will be so thankful to life. I really hope know one ever has to go through the experince I have been goin through it makes life depressing.. I just have been so scared I went to sleep last night hoping I'd feel better today but i didnt, i dont know what to do.. ive been in fear thinkin that im gonna be like this for the rest of my life, ive been lookin up all this anxiety information to see if anyone was goin through the same problems and I have been reading some that I can relate to like this one and it has been makin me feel better because people say they have gottin better when they have gave up all hopes like me.. well I havent gave up all hopes ive been tellin my self mentaly sayin that ima get through this and that it is just a phaze but it doesent really help when u keep wakin up worse :[



So does anyone have any tips or salutions to my problems? I would really appreciate it if someone helps me. anyinfo can help.. for now im goin to try to stay strong.
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Hey every one !.

I have read out all the comments

and i am glad to know that people from all over the world are discussing their problems relating Panic Disorder and Anxiety Disorder etc.

i have been feeling Anxious for one and half year. i have been having panic attacks too.

Feeling like my heart is beating fast, something is wrong with my heart, feeling vertigo, and burning in palms and toes and around neck, and feel abdominal and gastrointestinal distress.

but a strange feeling that i have is that i feel my scrotum (testis sac) contract and relax during the stress and when i am anxious.

i don't know why i feel like this.

further more when ever i am feeling like to having something very good like i am buying new clothes or any thing very exciting, or if someone is giving me surprise, or something new and exciting is gonna happen which make me feel joy and happy, I feel stress and anxious

even the event is going to happen very late but i feel anxious and worried many days ahead.

whats more i am loosing my weight too. my parent, friends and every one is saying that i have become so thin.. and skinny... even i eat normally as i use to do before..

I have consulted a Psychiatrist in my town and he has prescribed me Citalopram and Lorazepam as well .

Lorazepam helps me sometimes at night time when i feel anxious before i fall asleep. But Citalopram is making my condition more work because of side effects. And i have been trying to be regular about taking citalopram cuz its effect go on fading after continuous usage. But i am afraid that i am unable to take my dose continuously.

Tell me if any one is having the same situation and... what he/she has adopted to make them feel good any medication of whatever..

and please tell me someone how to get my normal weight back.. any one who has been losing weight but he adopted or used something very good and became Healthy..

Take care Every one ..

Good bye
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I had the same problem. EXACTLY. It sounds ridiculous but I tried so hard to tell myself it was lame and just stop feeling that way, but that does not work. I just stopped smoking bud completely, its no big deal no smoking weed. But you never forget that feeling. I do the same thing, thinking that everything is poisoned, it consumes my life. Due to the paranoia, I have developed the worst OCD ever. I check the seals on everything like a maniac before consumption. It sucks, I totally understand. I just want to be able to live without analyzing everything. Some people who do not have the same problem will say just stop thinking about it, but that isnt possible. So, just know this... There are others just like you. I am one. I do ok. I make decent money, I get myself to work everyday, even though sometimes I have anxiety attacks at work and just have to tighten up and get through it. You will get better, but it takes time and determination. OMEGA 3 Fatty Acid vitamins and Magnesuim pills every day, take them religiously. It has helped me tremendously. Also when I am sure to go to the gym daily I feel way better. Also, i tend to be a disorganized person and quite a procrastinator. If I work hard to stay organized, on time and not procrastinte things I have to do, that actually helps too. I am sorry I dont know what the cure is. I am going to school for a medical degree with every intention of curing this c**p. My grandfather has it and had agoraphobia and never left his home for like 40 years. I dont want anyone else to feel the way we all feel. If just quitting pot would have been sufficient that would be fine but now there are residual problems and the anxiety continues. I think the pot just brings an underlyning condition to the surface. I have smoked buds and not had attacks even after the first time that happened, but it is too much of a gamble for me to smoke weed, so whatever, I dont need it. Stay addiction free and dedicated to a good, honest, hard-working life and that truely helps.

Thank you SOOOOOO much for your post, because I have had the same problem for years (its not that bad all the time, dont be afraid of my saying "years") and I have never found someone else who has the problem with always being afraid of being poisoned. I cannot thank you enough because honestly just knowing there is another human being with the same problem is really therapy in itself. Its scary thinking you are the only one with a strange paranoia, but when someone else has the same thing, it feels better, like now you are not that alone. So THANK YOU! Keep blogging and posting.
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As i was searching for answers to my anxiety and problems to my life, i came across this thread and found it very insightful. As to a reply to all the posts, i have this to say:

It all started back when i just turned 18, I had just graduated high school. i was your average Joe teen, smoking cigars occasionally with friends, drinking excessively at times, creating havoc. Then one night i was introduced to weed by some of my friends. I swore i would never do any hardcore drugs, but i felt weed was never under a dangerous category. If anything i felt cigarettes should be banned. The first couple of times i smoked i really wasn't "high", but at the time i felt like i was... either because of the inexperience or because i was making myself believe i was high because i wanted to believe it that much. Then within that month of smoking only on the weekends with my friends, one night it finally hit me like a ton of bricks, the cognitive,intellectual, philosophical thinking began to dwell in my head. I didn't know what to do, there was so much information being registered in my head at once... the music, the fan from the computers, the laughs, the ringing of the ears, the aromas, the vivid colors and shapes, the ideas and cognitive thoughts... i was seeing reality from a different perspective. First couple of experiences scared me from smoking pot for a while, it was just to different and new.. but after a couple of more times i learned to accept the high.. and to trust it wasn't going to hurt me...From then on, i was completely intrigued with this plant... i wanted to experiment with it in every situation. I really enjoyed doing it with my friends, but then i started to really get into it solo. So from practically doing it every weekend, it became everyday... I wanted my high to become my life... it felt better.

I've taken breaks occasionally but not long ones. After 5 years of smoking pot, i'm really starting to discover what damage i have done physiologically by using pot as a reward system. Anything + weed = amazing time was my new formula. I would get high just to pass the time at work,school, to get "better" sleep, making every meal extra delicious,everything felt new again, adventurous. I wasn't scared of trying to get more and more high... i wanted to let go and to open my mind. I use to have anxiety attacks when i first used pot, but now i have to smoke to stop stress, headaches, upset stomach and anxiety attacks. One time i ran out of weed on vacation with my g.f and i couldn't sleep because i kept thinking about how i should be smoking now.. and how it will make me feel this way.. or solve my upset stomach. I thought so much i made myself believe i had to puke. Then i started to get heat flashes. As i thought about what had happened i started to see a correlation between what i was using the weed for and what side effects i was having when i wasn't high. I hate using this word but... this ADDICTION is pretty real. I've created this new life with weed... and I'm still slowly trying to swing off this stuff so I'm not dependent on it. I know i should cut it cold turkey.. but having anxiety attacks scare the sh*t out of me, death feels so close... i just hope going slow will work less painfully. Well i hope some of you gain insight. I just needed to let all this out of my head!
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Hey, I hear you. I didn't smoke that long at all, but i felt that I needed it and i hate getting attached to anything. I been clean for a while, only ****** up once when i got drunk, but I don't believe in addiction as being a disease. I went with my younger buddy to NA and thought it was quite silly that you had to admit you are an addict, only went once. I been much more productive without weed. I feel that work and my studies are really what pulled me away from it, and it feels great to not rely on anything for satisfaction in life.

I've heard (and feel so myself, now that i tried it) and want to pass on this advice: meditation helps loads.
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286 posts
Meditation is great and coupled with the thought countering exercises it helps even more :-|
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Celebrity
286 posts
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and one with better skills to manage your anxieties :-D
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I need advice. I've had extreme anxiety ever since I got too high one day and freaked out. I also thought someone laced the weed and they didn't. Now every time I'm around weed or any kind of drugs or pills or anything I have really really bad panic attacks to where I think Im Dying. The other day someone offered me somas, jusst muscle relaxers. And I pretended to take them and gave them to my friend instead. But because I drank out of the same glass of wTer as everyone that took them, I felt like I was drugged. I knew mentally that I was fine but my heart wouldn't stop Racing and I thought that if I couldn't get it to stop I would have a heart attack and that just made It worse. So basically, how do I get rid of iy? Obviously I can't take drugs for it because taking the drugs will give me panic attacks! And not suprising but thinking about this is giving me really bad anxiety. Please help.

And sorry if my grammar horrible I'm on my phone and it's touch screen. Not easy when you have nails LOL
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Hey R.J, don't worry, you will get better. But with some help ofcoarse. For me it started 2 yrs ago when I became pregnant. I had this sudden panic attack and never felt the same since. It was the worse thing in the world for me. I was going to become a mom and all I could think of were negative thoughts. Even after the baby was born it got worse. So I went to a Dr. who prescribed me some xanax and anti depressant pills and a few months better I felt soooooo much better. I'm currently off the meds and feel good. I'm not gonna lie every now and then I get a lil weird and feel anxiety but I can better control it now. Currenlty I went on a trip outta town and the airplane I guess got my nerves jumpy and ive been feeling bad but It gets better trust me. Talk to your family and see if they can get you some help. You dont always have to take meds there are other methods of help. Take care and try and not be scared. a lot of people out there suffer from this c**p.
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Please take this into consideration as I was in the same situation and did not come out of this derealization/depersonalization for almost three years. Mine was brought on from Marijuana and thinking too deeply. I finally came to realize what this actually was. I've seen and read about so many people that this has happened too and I want to help all of you. I finally have gotten completely rid of it by the way =]. Please do not over look this, It may seem extreme but take it into consideration. It really helped me. here it goes...

There is a very likely chance that what you have experienced was a premature/ spontaneous Kundalini awakening, or otherwise known as Kundalini syndrome. It is not a bad thing, although it DEFINITELY seems like it. Pretty much what happens is, a spiritual transformation takes place before your physical, emotional, and spiritual body are ready, thus throwing you into a state of intense fear and panic. Kundalini is the innate energy at the base of the spine. Kundalini Syndrome also occurs when this energy is channeled into the body and met by negative energy. Symptoms are unaffectionately described as a combination of sensory, motor, and mental changes. Kundalini syndrome is different from a Kundalini episode in that the syndrome develops gradually over several months or years. This could destabilize the person causing what is known as a "spiritual emergency". According to Paramhans Swami Maheshwarananda awakening of kundalini shows itself as "awakening of inner knowledge". Like every form of energy one must also learn to understand spiritual energy. In order to be able to integrate this spiritual energy, careful purification and strengthening of the body and nervous system are required beforehand. By trying to force results considerable psychic disturbances and at times even permanent mental damage can occur. A spiritual master who walked this path before is required to guide the aspirant. Often, it will be found that negative experiences occur only when acting without appropriate guidance or ignoring advice. This acctivation could be through several things. To name a few there are, Near death experiences, trauma (could even be from the panicked state from smoking), deep mediation, and what I've come to realize, being way too much of a deep thinker. The symptoms include :

* Other sensory and motor symptoms may include: the feeling of cranial pressures[19], the perception of inner sounds[17], experiences of inner lights[17][20], vibrating or tickling sensations in the lower back[17], tachycardia (rapid heart rate)[21], changes in breathing[22], spontaneous bodily movements[22], sensations of heat or cold moving through the body[20], localized bodily pain that starts and stops abruptly[20], vibrations and itching under the skin[20], and unusual, or intense, sexual sensations [23].

* Mental and affective symptoms include: fear[24], anxiety[24], depersonalization [20], intense positive or negative emotions[20], spontaneous slowing or speeding of thoughts[20], spontaneous trance states[24], experiencing oneself as larger than the physical body [20], and experiences of paranormal consciousness [25].

Summary of known problems: Death, pseudo death, psychosis, pseudo psychosis, confusion, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, sadness, suicidal thoughts, urges to self-mutilate, homicidal urges, arrhythmia (irregular heart beat), exacerbation of prior or current mental illness, insomnia, inability to hold a job, inability to talk, inability to drive, sexual pains, temporary blindness, and headaches
(Wikipedia reference )

This does not necessarily mean all symptoms.
I overcame my problem by finding a spiritual path. Meditating, researching spiritualism in all aspects, Kundalini Riki healings and attunements, and working with energy to replenish, activate, and balance my chakras.

I feel reborn and understand what a great gift this actually was.

please read more about it. Again I'm only trying to help.
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