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Hey guys, I'm new here. I've had a history of obsessive worries and panic attacks. I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD, but I have done the diagnostic test from the University of Florida and I do go through the typical cycle of doubts, compulsion, and reassurance. While mostly mild, my obsessions have jumped from fears of being gay, being schizophrenic, being a serial killer, and lately of schizoid personality disorders. Anytime I learn about a new disorder, especially personality ones, I freak out. This SPD worry has been lingering for awhile and while I can clearly recognize the obsessive patterns and traits in my worries, other times I'm not so fortunate and get depressed or pretty anxious. I posted a topic about it in some other forum here but it never got answered:

Hi, my pseudonym is Frankly (Frank over at neuroticplanet.com) and I just registered. For the past few weeks I've been worrying off and on that I could have schizoid personality disorder. I was discussing with my friend about her bipolar disorder to see if there were parallels between her 'highs' and my obsessions. By the way, I've been living with what I believe is 'pure' OCD. Topics of my obsessions and panic have umped from worrying I could be gay to possibly being schizophrenic to possibly harming people. Recently I've been worrying about being Schizoid.

My cause for concern I will lay out and my cause for anxiety and panic will have to lie in genetics!

1. I am a bit of a loner. I say this because I do spend time in my room often on the computer or playing PS2 (can't afford a PS3!) or my guitars. I love playing my music and have been recording since last summer.

2. I don't typically go out at night because when I come home from work I want to relax. I do hangout sometimes. I'll go to eat with a friend at a restaurant here or there or go to see bands with some friends when our favorite bands come by. This weekend I'm travelling with a friend to meet some of my old friends in another city to see the Kids in the Hall perform. It should be fun. I do have friends at work and I do look forward to working with my pals. They're really cool dudes and are probably the only reason I'm still working at this place. However, we don't hang out much outside of work. This limited social activity may worry me in the future as this is a sign of SPD right?

3. When I'm panicky or am reading about SPD I start to see myself when articles say they have no sexual responses or very limited. This, again bothers me since in my own head I seem to have a low desire. This could or could not be attributed to a familiar OCD of possibly being gay (yet I'm not). YET I'm still checking out women and with OCD
I'm always second guessing it lol. But there's another ticker - I haven't had a girlfriend and I'm 19. Well isn't this SPD?

4. In my panic, I have worried that I could go crazy. I heard this fear is yet another symptom of SPD but also that it could just be attributed to a panic attack as that fear is common amongst the panicky. Also I should restate that I've had obsessions of going schizophrenic and in this case schizoid. That used to give me lots of anxiety but the latter is the one sending my heart racing.

I don't know if this is of any relevance but I should restate that I've had a few panic attacks after reading articles about this personality disorder. Years ago I couldn't be bothered but ever since a string of panic attacks before and after high school graduation, I've become such a worry wart (and I've read that being a hypochondriac could be a sign of SPD).

I guess my overall questions are, does this sound like SPD? Or am I simply making
faulty connections here? Is this just the OCD working it's magic making me think I
have SPD or is this the real deal? This stuff at times scares the sh*t out of me.

Thanks,

Frankly

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You don't have SPD. You don't have severe anhedonia (lack of enjoyment) or flattened/inappropriate affect. Just the fact that you're worrying about having it means you probably don't. As a psych student with anxiety issues, I also self-diagnose and worry about possible disorders, both psychological and physical. You just have a severe anxiety disorder, and this is one of you subjects of obsession.

Personality disorders are very tricky to diagnose, and sometimes controversial. You don't seem to have any deep, persistent pattern of dysfunction other than your OCD. Personality disorders are pervasive and extreme deviations from social normality, and must span many, many years to diagnose properly.

If you aren't already in therapy, I suggest getting some help with your obsession issues. Medication might be helpful in dealing with this as well, but the most important thing is that you work it out with some long-term psychotherapy.
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