I came to a conclusion recently that I have two options: to learn how to deal with this friend of mine who is suffering from antisocial personality disorder or to simply give up on her. I came to realize that i would hate myself if I just gave up on her and didn't really try hard enough so I am here to ask you if anyone has any experience when it comes to dealing with someone who has antisocial personality disorder? Can anyone give me any tips or an advice that would help me to understand this person better?
I have some experience with people who are suffering from antisocial personality disorder, I used to hang out with one person suffering from this and I have learned something from that so I have an advice for you.
The best thing you can do for your friend is to persuade her to start seeing a psychologist because she needs therapy. She will get mad at you and she will yell at you and she might not want to talk to you anymore but that doesn't matter, as long as you can make her talk to a psychologist. Otherwise, it's no use spending time with her.
Gaia is right, you cannot help these people on your own because they think that they are somehow better than other people. They will hurt you without even caring about it, they are quite selfish and you simply cannot change them.
I would have given up on this person if I were you but Gaia gave you a good advice there, the best thing you could do is make this person talk to a psychologist, if you can do that. I honestly don't think that you can do it, not because you are unable to or that you are not up to the task, but that this girl simply won't want to do it.
One girl that I met on the therapy couple of months ago has this antisocial personality disorder. She is the first person who I met with this type of disorder. When I asked her what this really is, she explained me very informative. She told me that antisocial personality disorder is characterized among the doctors by the way a person thinks and perceives situations that are much different from normal people.
It is hard to tell how to deal with this type of people, but I have to say that I hang out with her and I think that she is totally normal person.
I think that the most important thing you can do is to understand that person and to give her or him your full, unconditional support. I am coping with one person that I really love and that person has this disorder. Of course, it is hard, but I am dealing with it pretty good so far. The most important thing is to learn to accept a person with antisocial personality disorder. That matters at first place, because when you accept that person you will gain the trust for life. But that is all you can do because there is no chance that you can help that person. That person needs to have medical help and maybe to use some medicine.
Yes, I totally agree with what you are saying - that you can't help that person on your own even if you want to help her. This person really requires good and professional help. So I know that it is very hard to convince person with this type of disorder to go to the doctor, but trust me it is the best for her.
When I asked this girl that I know who convinced her, she told me that she came there because her bf begged her. For their own good. And she listened to him.
So there must be a way.
You can't help that person. All that you can do while you are trying to help that person is that she feels better for a while, but that is all. Anyway, I believe in the medications and antidepressants so I believe that this is the only way to help that person - convince her to see the doctor and let her know that medications are nothing bad. Medication treatment for the personality disorders is quite limited and you should know that at the beginning,. Generally, there are no medications to treat or cure the actual disorder. But doctor can give those people something else, because usually those with this disorder are angry, aggressive, etc.
Okay, I will give you an answer you don't want to hear but it's absolutely necessary that you understand it and follow what advice I have to give.
People that are answering this question don't have the clinical background in regards to ASPD, for which the sub-category is sociopathy; more rare usage is psychopathy, it's old name, to distinguish between learned / engrained personality & behavior or if it's genetic inheritance.
First off, you need to make sure that your friend does truly have ASPD and not some other problem. You can't just do a snap diagnosis, you'll need a psychoanalyst in the very least to make this distinction.
Now, psychologists; psychoanalysts and therapists can't treat ASPD because that's a very serious and often time dangerous personality disorder, the only people qualified are psychiatrists. Which all psychiatrists are medical doctors, too. Psychologists can't write prescriptions nor force patients to take said medications.
About ASPD; those people AREN'T suffering, everyone that's surrounding them ARE suffering from their wrath.
What you need to understand about ASPD is while you may befriend them, they don't befriend you. You belong to them, you are they're property, they don't see you as a person but an object to be used and manipulated how ever they see fit. You need to understand that sociopaths and psychopaths don't follow relationship dynamics at all, any level, for they don't have empathy, which is the reason why they do what they do.
Don't try to urge this person to go see a doctor, that will only get you on their sh*t list or, "the object is defective, time to get rid of it, destroy it so nobody else can have it". When I say, destroy, it's either means kill or decimate another person, to get them to comply.
You're not a bad person for wanting to get the hell out of there. People with Cluster B personality disorder are master manipulators, especially NPDs and ASPDs.
I need to explain something to you regarding the differences of NPD and ASPD. The biggest difference is in their aims for domination.
NPDs have an abject need for adoration, supply (attention), resources, accolades because of a wounded ego. They do everything for the constant ego strokes, even if it's distructive to other people. They don't use violence despite what many people in the social sciences claim, everything they do is mind games but they don't do it to "hurt you on purpose and enjoy it".
ASPD is essentially a phase shift of NPD or NPD's evil twin. They do what they do to actually hurt you, they enjoy all kinds of pain that you endure; mental, emotional and physical, if they get an ego stroke out of it, that's a plus but not required.
ASPD use violence to control their victims / objects. In psychology and psychiatry, it's very hard to tell the difference between NPD and ASPD.
Narcissists (NPD) are never sociopathic / psychopathic but sociopaths / psychopaths are always narcissistic.
Don't be too quick to label your, "friend" as ASPD because we don't know if she truly is and has been clinically diagnosed as such.
Also, not all people with ASPD need to be on medication, that depends solely on if the condition has a neurological (medical) origin or not of if it's more of a serious character flaw (which is called a personality disorder).
Do yourself and your friend a favor, don't label her as ASPD just because you think she fits a clinical diagnosis, leave it to the professionals.
What can or should you do? If this person truly has ASPD, get away from her, go no contact, don't tell her why you're leaving, just cut contact in all forms, don't feel guilty; you're just protecting yourself.
I was assusting a 58 yr old man to apply fir a pension.
Over a period of about 6 months I ascertained he had Anti-social Disorder,Persecution complex...in the end I resluzed hiw much of my time and energy was was being wasted just defendin,clarifying my words and behaviour,just a look( he would take any little thing I did and bliw it uo as a negative for himself and remunerate on it.
I tild him exactly what his behaviour was doing to me and that I was not wanting him in my life in the future.
He carried in though I showed him the door and requested he leave NOW.
HE finally went.
I will NEVER do that again.
Wasted time,money,energy was not worth him.
He will never change.He has no insight.