During my teens I keep a lot of what was going on in my head to myself as it caused alarm from friends and family when i didnt. Such as constant suicidal tendencies at the age of 14 that appeared from nowhere with no causes. Infact sometimes I would get so bored I saw nothing wrong with wishing it - I was convinced it was natural to do it which I attempted several times. Ocassionally I would burst into tears for no reason and it scared me. Eventually I saw an expert who diagnosed me with high anxiety.
Now older and in a marriage of 6 years I have started having the same thoughts and feel like I cant control them. Older and wiser I know the impact it will have on my family if I did something terrible but some days I am not incontrol of myself and understand I am not thinking mindfully. In these states I believe all sorts of fantasies such as believing I can teleport anywhere I fear the most, such as the bottom of the ocean or outerspace. Another common one is convinced I have severe terminal diseases.
I dont know if I am thinking thoughts that most people have that dont speak about it, this isnt something I feel I can disclose with someone I know. Opening up on this forum feels safer for the simple reason no one knows me here.
Now older and in a marriage of 6 years I have started having the same thoughts and feel like I cant control them. Older and wiser I know the impact it will have on my family if I did something terrible but some days I am not incontrol of myself and understand I am not thinking mindfully. In these states I believe all sorts of fantasies such as believing I can teleport anywhere I fear the most, such as the bottom of the ocean or outerspace. Another common one is convinced I have severe terminal diseases.
I dont know if I am thinking thoughts that most people have that dont speak about it, this isnt something I feel I can disclose with someone I know. Opening up on this forum feels safer for the simple reason no one knows me here.
Loading...
You sound exactly like me when I was younger. It sounds to me like you don't just have high anxiety--but that you actually suffer from OCD. It is a little-known variant called unwanted thoughts disorder or primarily-obsessional OCD. I would recommend seeing a therapist. Is that something that you'd be able to do?
Loading...
I hope you can get some professional help for that. I don't think it's normal to feel that way.
I have never experienced any of the thoughts you described. I would lke to be able to go to outer space but I never even had a dream where I was able to.
I have never considered suicide as an option no matter how bad things seem to be. I don't believe I could actually do it and I have often wondered how someone can. If you have those thoughts, please see someone who can help you.
When I get down, I just have to think about all the people who have to live in some of those places where our soldiers are stationed and I realize how wonderful it is here and how much I've been blessed to be born in this country. I can't imagine living in a place where women are denied medical care as part of the religion that is forced on them.
Life is so much better than it was even a hundred years ago, I can see no reason for all the negativity that seems to be so pervasive today.
I have never experienced any of the thoughts you described. I would lke to be able to go to outer space but I never even had a dream where I was able to.
I have never considered suicide as an option no matter how bad things seem to be. I don't believe I could actually do it and I have often wondered how someone can. If you have those thoughts, please see someone who can help you.
When I get down, I just have to think about all the people who have to live in some of those places where our soldiers are stationed and I realize how wonderful it is here and how much I've been blessed to be born in this country. I can't imagine living in a place where women are denied medical care as part of the religion that is forced on them.
Life is so much better than it was even a hundred years ago, I can see no reason for all the negativity that seems to be so pervasive today.
Loading...