I started dating a guy with schizophrenia and bipolar. Things were fine at first. He was the best guy I had ever dated. We had so much in common. He is a music producer and I'm a vocalist so it started out being a business thing but our energies must have pushed us together. We only dated for about a month and a half... but we moved very fast. We were already telling each other we loved one another and discussing what the future might look like if we wanted to be together. But he and I both were also in a place in our own personal lives where we were both emotionally unavailable and going through some tough things. I think at first it was nice because we confided in one another and we communicated well and understood one another. I myself have generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive thinking. So when we met and started dating I was also in a couple of shows. The first was a talent show... he was supposed to come see me perform but he got sick last minute. Now, I am in a musical. We had our first performance last weekend. It was a Friday night, and I remember feeling like I was noticing something was already off the week prior but I didn't worry about it. But after the show Friday, I drive an hour at like 11:00 pm at night after being exhausted and having a cold just to see him. The next day he seemed very off. And he was supposed to come see my show that night too (in like 3 hours). But after texting me a couple of times asking about ticket prices...he randomly says he is sick and can't make it. 

Now, mind you, yes I was sick.. so he could have been being honest, but any girl I know, would have thought it was suspicious when he wasn't sick when I left, and when he missed my last performance due to being sick. So, when he told me he couldn't come... I didn't accuse him of lying, but I did let him know that I thought it was odd. He got super offended... 

I guess I should add that with my generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive thinking, when there is a problem, my brain doesn't like the pain and will work really hard to try and solve it at any cost. He also has "disorganized schizophrenia" to be specific. So when I told him it was odd, he got very upset that I was questioning his integrity. I apologized and told him that in my last relationship, my ex would cancel plans last minute and never showed up to support me. He would also "ghost" me all the time. So, I mentioned that we still had four more showings and that if he felt better the next day, there would be a matinee performance at 2:30 and if he felt better he should come. I was ready to drop it. He stated, "tomorrows perfect." 

The next day however, he never showed to the show, and never texted me the whole day. Mind you, he used to text me on the hour, every hour, so I was pretty concerned. He also knew that "ghosting" is a heavy trigger for my anxiety. So I messaged him a ton and no reply made m anxiety worse to the point I couldn't stop texting. He finally said that. He had been off his meds for about 6 months and he was blaming his schizophrenia, saying it makes him withdrawal from society. But he also said that he was hurt I questioned his integrity. He says he shuts down when there is conflict. He told me in the past when a girl he was dating didn't trust him, she would go and cheat on him. I told him in the past when a guy "ghosts" me, or dips out last minute, it's because he is done with me and is avoiding me, which is a huge trigger.

So, essentially, it was all a huge misunderstanding between two people with mental disorders but when I told him that I was sorry for making him feel that way, he said he just doesn't think it's going to work out because he has to withdrawal sometimes because of his schizophrenia and if I have issues with that then it won't work out. 

 

It makes me so so sad because my heart is feeling 3 different things. 1.) I really liked this guy and I understand what it's like to have mental issues while still being a while still being an emotionally aware and intelligent individual, and I'm hoping that he comes around and we can figure out how to communicate... 2.) run like hell!!!!!  3.) What if he is totally playing you and lying to you and now he is just done getting what he wanted? 

 

I dont knie what to think at this point or do....