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I been dating a bipolar girl for past two months. Everything was going well, up until last friday the 13. The two days after work each night, she spent all day at a guy friends house. Apparently from what i gathered, she and him fell asleep in bed. Nothing happened, just fell asleep. Since then she's been sick and hasnt really wanted me around for the past 3 days. I visit her daily to see how she's doing. She doesnt protest to me being with her, but she wont let me touch or hold or cuddle with her. She says we're still together. I'm a forgive and forget kind of person, and i believe her when she says nothing happened at the guys house. But the only way i can communicate with her is to drop in and see her at her house. She doesnt answer my calls or IM's. I tell her i love her and want nothing more to be with her to love her, and comfort her. Is this semi-normal for bipolars to behave this way? This is my first relationship with a bipolar person. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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You should be the one who she goes home to, not him. Who is this guy by the way? Is it a close friend? If not, she's probably sleeping with him, and I don't mean the kind with your eyes shut and you dream.
It's very sweet that you trust her, but if she is having episodes, she is not in her right mind and her judgement is impaired. If you can, try to get her to open up to you, and better yet, get her to see a doctor.
This is coming from a bi-polar girl, so I'm not just talking out of my arse.
You have to have a great deal of patience and understanding to be in a relationship with a bi-polar individual. And a bi-polar individual must have alot of support and be able to trust their significant other.
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It's sounds to me like she's using avoidance to not face guilt feelings. As a bipolar person myself, i know that when being silly enough to get yourself into a situation where another man may want something from you, it's hard to then say no. It common for bipolar peeps to make bad desicions in regards to sex etc. recklessness and promiscuity are typical behavioural traits.

Thats not an excuse, just immediate situations overcome potential consequenses. It's entirely possible that this is not the case with your partner, this is just an opinion. She may just be experiencing a mood disturbance.

Bipolar peeps are particularly good at denial. There's a mental process that isolated something that happens, and deny it until they almost believe it themselves (to cope with guilt feelings). It's a strong enough emotional pain that stops you ever wanting to go through it again.

It can be a roller coaster ride being with a bipolar person. and sometimes bipolar peeps crave the turmoil. open communication is the key, and letting go of fear that the relationship is about to fail, That can lead to possessive thoughts and co dependency.
Even if you imagine the worst to have happened, it sounds like your the sort of person to be able to move on from it, so waiting it out may be the best choice. pushing for the truth now could force a strong denial that will be difficult to reverse at a later, more open moment.

I hope that may be of some use to you, everyone's different though so interpretations are subjective.
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I'm a bi-polar grandmom on lithium for over 25 years. I'll talk to you as I would one of my sons. First of all spring and fall are the worst times for bipolar patients. Is she taking her meds right? It sounds like she is trying to leave you but doesn't have the heart to tell you goodbye.
You sound like a really special person, I think there is somebody else out there waiting for you.
Don't be overprotective because she has a mental illness. Bi-polar people are very strong, we don't need to be coddled. Don't be afraid to confront her with your feelings, in other words, treat her as a "normal" girl, not as someone who is disabled. I hope you know what I mean. Be loving but not enabling.
I might be bipolar, but I'm a deans list college grad, and have an active life.
Bi-polar doesn't mean fragile. :-)
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She isnt on meds as far as I know..A friend of hers she confided in told me she said she had meds at first, but they was causing some bad side effects, so she stopped taking them. She seems fine, just the brief 2-3 week periods here and there. And, I believe you was right, Arizona Granny, in that she may have been trying to leave me but didnt have the heart to tell me. When She and I started dating, it was a week after she said she "sorta" broke up with her previous ex. He came around and is still bothering her, wanting to spend time with her. I believe she never told him. Same with me. I told her that given the situation...going on 3 weeks..I guessed the relationship was over and shed rather be with the friend. But, ways she's seemed when I left her house with my stuff, and the past week when ive bumped into her around town, and ive been talking to her as a friend now, she seems like she may still have feelings for me. Even now, I know she's cheated, I still love her. And Ill be willing to do anything to get her back. Thanks for all you for writing.
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This doesn't sound like an bi~polar person afterall cause if this the case then all the wives,girlfriends,husbands, and boyfriends that cheats then all of them has bi~polar.
Basically she lied to ya in that time span and yeah she cheated on ya with that dude. I think most folks that cheated on someone is feeling guilty and don't want to talk about it and also they don't want to talk or want to be around ya. That right there is not bi~polar.
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Run as fast as you can from this woman and never look back. Save yourself and whatever is left of your dignity.
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I'm bipolar, and when I get depressed I stay away from the world to 99%. I was together with a guy for 6 months when he couldn't take it anymore. It totally crushed me, but I understood. But it's really hard to be alone because you have a disease. Remember that if she is acting wierd doesn't mean that she's been cheating. Maybe it's just her illness and that's not her fault. Although, it's not okey to cheat, but still, maybe what until she's more stabil to confront her?
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I couldn't agree more with the previous post. Run as fas as you can. She already cheated on you. But worse is yet to come. She will try and convince you that YOU are the one who is mentally ill - or at the least that you are ALSO mentally ill. I know.. I have dated a bipolar woman too. It is so much work to love a person like that. The good times are great but also the bad times are horrible. It is so not worth it. I think men are attracted to bipolar woman because in some ways they have no sexual inhibitions. Which is exciting for many men. But after a while, that wears thin.
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Im currently in an on again, off again relationship with a beautiful young lady with bipolar. I was married for 20 years when I met her, and I left home to be with her. I don't regret it, she was a wonderful girl during the good times, but then the horrid bad times came along and she too cheated on me, not with one guy, she did it with four guys including her therapist! I'm also a very forgiven person, so I took her back every time. She would go through these episodes where she wouldn't answer my calls nor my text messages, and when I worried and showed up on her doorstep, she would go into a frenzy, calling me a stalker and a freak. She goes away every Friday to Clearwater, Fl with her "family" but sometimes I feel like its another guy she's seeing. I try to give her space, which she always tells me she needs, but quite frankly its more often than not. I feel for this guy, and I certainly understand what he's going through. Sometimes I want to let her go, but my feelings for her are so strong. Right now, she broke it off with me and asked me not to call her anymore, and if I do she will change her number, so I haven't call; I really don't know what to do, I'm really good to her, I give her everything she asks of me, all I ever asked in return was to spend time with her, and to let me love her as I know how. We have been dating off and on for 10 months, and this continues with her, with no change in sight; I fear that this relationship will not work because its a one way street, I adore her but the feeling isn't mutual. Be Strong dude and follow your heart.
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Run as far as you can,it will drive you crazy.. I've been in the same situation.
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I’m a male and have been diagnosed with ADHD, i have dated several girls who have bipolar, and i think most of the guys here are spot on.. Several traits do seem symbolic of bipolar the main one is bipolar and adhd don’t comprehend risk, we are addicted to anything that gives higher levels of adrenaline and in doing so it helps us to feel normal. Its the very thing that makes us spontaneous.
e.g.
Staying up late
Recreational drugs e.g. marijuana
Impulsive thoughts
Highly Addicted to Addictions
Addicted to ideological ideas to the point of dismissing reality
Unable to complete tasks
Day dreaming / easily distracted.

I understand many people without ADHD/Bipolar would fall within this criteria but we have it to the extreme.. e.g. i repeated the same level in high school 5 times before giving up. Yet at work (years later) I’m in a position which requires a very high level of intellect? aka as people we just don’t make sense.. All the dots are there but the lines are missing XD

Bipolar and ADHD people need to keep themselves emotionally charged its how we feel normal, this often is achieved by being unpredictable / impulsive which often makes us highly attractive people.. The negative side is impulsiveness without calculating risk can make us promiscuous and not necessarily good long term partners until in our 30’s.

Another trait is we often judge our happiness through others, and seek approval from people.. This can mean with the right social situations we find ourselves trying to prove ourselves to a new comer (new challenge) at the mercy of people who have been around a while including friendships/relationships often making people feel they have been replaced.. My whole life i have had 2-3 year relationships since 16 years old now I’m 32.. I’ve cheated on almost every single girl, I’m not excusing my behaviour and envy people who are committed to 1 person because I can’t seem to manage it.

Girls with bipolar have AMAZING personalities and are exceptionally fun and challenging to date, but if things go bad, hell will seem like a luxury holiday to the mental rollercoaster you will face if you stay around. I can tell you from experience if you want to keep her you have to leave.. ADHD/Bipolar need approval from others.. but don’t like people trying to prove to them, in fact its a complete turn off! By leaving, you are opening the door for another challenge and thus have a higher chance of getting them back.. When i say "Leave" I mean no Text Messages no phone calls etc. Don’t act weak, or give in and drop to their every need, you need to make them work for it and make them feel lucky to get you back.. IT’S THE ONLY WAY! If you don’t you will just go through the same process again, just 2 months later, thus drawing it out. She needs to approach you not the other way around and if she doesn’t you had no chance anyway.

Another amazing trait of bipolar is, in a heavily emotionally charged conversation expect her/him to say/do things that will hurt you, its another way to raise adrenaline levels, the more you show hurt the more they are likely to do it. Worst of all, expect in 1 week's time they will completely deny it happening and make you feel crazy for thinking otherwise. As the previous poster stated, thoughts/memories that are too confronting (aka cheating etc) they can completely suppress and will mentally out wit you into thinking you just got it all wrong. :-P Then ask yourself are you up to the challenge of dating someone with bipolar? If so the only personality type that can do it are people who act as a ground for the person with bipolar, meaning no matter how crazy they get the person they come back to is their emotional rock, just expect it to be a bumpy ride.. But I illiterate when its good you will think of no other girl on this planet.. When its bad you wish you could think of another girl.. Good luck. :-P
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what are you doing dating a bipolar girl???? you should be getting checked for mental illness for not running for the hills the first time she uttered "I'm bipolar"!
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I am every bit what you have described here !

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Wow! This has been very helpful. I love her, but fear she will kill me. She tells me she takes direction from a spider and that she gets dark thoughts about burning down the house or jumping off a building.  She sends nude pictures I have taken of her to other men; denies doing so until I confront her with evidence. She breaks down and begs for forgiveness. I forgive her, but can no longer believe anything she says. She can be nice, but is often cruel. I may need to leave her, but how do I do this without breaking her heart or getting into real trouble with her. I thought I could take it, but I am beginning to doubt it. 
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