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I will try to be as specific as I can, my apologies for my lack of apostrophes.. 

We have been married for 9 years, none of them were perfect but like normal married couple, we fight and get on each others nerves.

My husband was raised by a very abusive mother, he has even told me that one time he blacked out from a hit he received.

I didnt had a normal upbringin either although my abuse was psychological and promised myself that I wouldnt let my kids go through the same as I did. 

Anyway my husband in some arguments has thrown things at the door or screamed while on discussion but this has been going on for about two months... when this has occured I had made it very clear that this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated but this time I think it has gone way over the line.

We live overseas and while on skype with my inlaws, my 8yr old didnt want to talk to them. My husband told me to convince him to at least say hi to them which I agreed so I went and talked to my kid but without much success... this irritated me a lot because I dont stand my kids being rude but thought that we could have a talk with him later about manners. I went back to the livingroom where my husband was still in skype, he saw that my son was not with me so he went ballistic about it, put the microphone in mute, went to my kids bedroom, drag my son and slapped him in his face.

I was in complete shock, I didnt know how to react, I still dont know how to react. After this happened my husband in complete control of himself turned off the mute button and said goodbye to my inlaws in the most normal way.

He then, grabbed my son and put ice on his face... He looked really ashamed of himself and went out to buy a mc donalds meal for him.

I mean, I am just in awe.. is he being abusive? Is this something that is just escalating? I hated the fact that he hit my son and then went and bought him something, for me that is completely wrong.

When he got back from Mcdonalds I went also in a rage, I sent him off my home.. I just thought it was too much.

While he was packing, he started crying telling me that I should go in the first airplane outta here, that he didnt deserved us and so on... My son was listening so he started crying asking me to not throw him away. I asked him in the most calmed way I could to just go and stay the night away from home, I think I need to clear my head.

I just dont know.. am I overreacting? am I finally doing the right thing for my kids? (we also have a 1 yr old baby)  Should I continue my marriage or will this only gets worse?

Please, give me your sincerest point of view...


Hi there! It sounds really that you are living a very stressful moment, and the first rule is: never make definitive movements when you are angry. If I understood the last period your husband has been more aggressive right? Apart from this time you have mentioned, did he ever touch your son aggressively before? Or is this something new? And apparently he realizes that’s not acceptable and feel ashamed. What I would do if I were you is wait for a moment where just the two of you can talk to each other, without your children and preferably not at home, and discuss what can of help you are interesting in have. I would go for a couple counselling therapy together with single therapy for him. And one more thing I would do is make a serious agreement that physical abuse will absolutely not be tolerated. 



I am reading this because I am in a similar situation. If you are not in therapy I suggest going immediately. If this is the only time he has struck your child in 8 years and he obviously realizes he lost it, I would suggest therapy. A woman knows her husband. You know of he just had a weak moment and lost his temper or if this is a problem. Are you afraid of him? Are you worried that he will hit your children again? Go to a therapist and work on developing tools so this doesn't happend again. If he's done it before and you are concerned- go. When a person tells you who they are, listen the first time