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We are both 52 and have been married for 23 years, happily, I add, most of the time. Recently my husband took up a very stressful activity from home, involving sitting in front of his computer daily and constantly watching the currency markets. He has been learning this trade and trading virtually for 2 years and now trades live. The problem is that he is angry with himself most days as he cannot make the money he wants to and even sometimes loses. He is always down on himself and his default mood is anger and disappointment. He considers himself a failure in professional life and really shies away from dinner parties where he feels he has nothing to offer the corporate boys who have made it. I have always been his ray of sunshine and for years up to now I didn't mind coaxing him back from his obsessive workaholic behaviour into a peaceful mind state. I have always told him he is a great husband and father and that at least he tries to do something brave and adventurous as opposed to being in corporate maelstroms. However, I am now feeling vulnerable and alone, as I am going through a very easy menopause but a slightly emotional one with moods up and down. My youngest daughter is still at home and needs our support as she can feel moods and is intelligent and quite intuitive. I am starting to sleep poorly and invariably at 7 am on weekends I wake up because my hubby is snoring. All this to say I am at my wits end. I can't take him out of his context and home life has now become hell for him because he sees it as work. Also, he doesn't spend any money on anything outside of the house, as he says we have to save. But save for what? If he doesn't enjoy life now, when!? Also we are lucky enough to have my inlaws who have a house for us to holiday in and every time we leave here he is better. But the minute we come home to our regular life it is hell or me and my daughter. I love him loads but am getting so tired and really at my wits end as to what to do now to help him. He also has been tested for thyroid.

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It is really hard to help someone when there are all these emotional insecurity issues. But you have been so supportive and encouraging, i will suggest you continue to do that because if you isolate him and give up, things will get worse as you might be his only anchor and life support and the only one he has that actually has anything positive to say about him.At the same time, you will now need to take care of yourself so you can remain emotionally and physically healthy to be there for your daughter. You should find an outlet for you at this point whether it includes him or not. Find someone you can talk to and if need me, you might even consider seeing a therapist. Maybe in time, he might be encouraged to join you. Go to those dinners yourself if he doesn't want to go, you have to try and do what makes you happy, so you don't break down and resent him.You have been there for him for so long, its now time to take care of yourself to keep the family together. You are a good wife and mother and thank you for been so supportive of your spouse. I have been married for 17 years, and i wish i get support and encouragement from mine like you give yours, instead of constant negativity and always reminding me of all the wrong things i have done in the past. I never get support of any kind, she will rather focus on others, she will rather make others happy at my expense, my emotional needs always comes last, its always about others, i come last. Stay strong, you are a good woman.
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Thank you, that is helpful.
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