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Call me ni ;-) eve, but I just recently learned that my mate (husband) of 12 years, views porno on the computer and masterbates, even while we are in the same house together ALONE, sometimes 10 feet apart, he would rather go out in the garage or downstairs and masterbate, then allowing me to service him. Meanwhile, I am extremely attractive (I've been told this by many men) and I also feel attractive and sexy, with an OUTRAGIOUS sex drive, (I have multiple orgasms to his 1), and would love our sessions to be 2-5 daily) ? . I have NEVER said NO to him, I swear (he will tell you that is the truth), I usually request that he just lay back and relax and I will please him, (That is my favorite, I would do it 24/7, and I tell him he doesn't have to touch me, just think about what I am doing and how good it feels. I feel CHEATED out of the intimacy with him, the lack of sex and orgasm for me, as well as the cum that he would wash down the drain than give to me. I'm over being frustrated with him, now I'm pissed and feeling totally rejected. Truthfully, I really need to understand this or I am proceeding with the divorce papers I recently had drawn up. I feel like he has cheated me out of many things, for the selfish act of a quick cum and roll over. Why does it bother me so much that he likes to get himself off ? I have NEVER touched myself without him being present, and I do not care when he does himself when we are together, it's the sneaking around, lying sh*t that drive me nuts. Honestly, after writing this I think I may have answered my own questions, but it would be nice to hear what you have to say on the topic. Just for your enjoyment... we currently started going to a marriage counselor (something he wanted and arranged after he heard of the impending divorce), you should have seen the shocked expression on the counselors face when all the above was discussed and my husband openly admitted that Yes, infact, I NEVER say no to ANYTHING, I am game for EVERYTHING, and providing him with oral stimulation is my first choice ALWAYS (sorry, I love it) The counselor, needless to say, was shocked and didn't know what to say, so he said, "I will need sometime to think about this then we will discuss it next session. This week, he was flabergasted that my husband would rather have a "man's hand (yes, his own, but still a man's) then my mouth, hand or ALWAYS extremely ready P***y. Believe me when I tell you, I am VERY CONFIDENT because I put my all in it, would never stop of thinking until he's done, and I know, I am one of the BEST at ORAL (because I love the end result SOOO much), and probably almost everything else, there is. I could really use some help here.

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hmmmm...my husband is the same way. Damn computers. I have taken a different route than you tho. Because he is so interested in computer porn i have basically stopped having sex with him. We have talked about it and he knows how angry i am that he does this, but he still persists on doing it. I would be okay with it if we looked at it together, but he prefers his hand.
It's good that you and your hubby have decided to seek counseling as he has an addiction to pornography. I suggested counseling to my husband and he looked at me like i had three heads.
I gotta say that a computer can cause some serious problems in a marraige or a relationship. Friends of mine have actually left their marraiges because of this sort of stuff.
My son in law is a porn freak and he actually has a personnal ad on one of the no pay sites. He hit on a friend of ours and didn't even know it.
Sex is very important in a marraige and if the counseling works for you two, great, if not, well...push the divorce papers, after all you tried.
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Check the history if hes viewing straight porn or gay porn which is what i think hes just gay.
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I'm freak-en pisted about my 18 year relationship.. I love my husband to death.. But I don't understand this obsession with porn and master-batting he sneaks and does it and tries to hide his under ware.. why hide them.. why not just take them off when doing the dirty deed in the first place if your going to do it... I am a great wife and mother of 2.. and I feel I'm here for him when he needs it... I don't do a lot of the things the lady said in her letter she does for her spouse .. may be that is why he does this behind my back. But No.. He didn't have this crazy feeling until he got into the military and once he got out he had boxes and boxes of porn tapes... I had to burn them all .. I feel this is evil ..it needs to stop.. I am there for his needs.. in all ways I can be.. that he knows me after all these years .. why stay if he was sexual frustrated... I am so ready for a divorce.. all I get is nothing .. the same thing everyday.

I come home.. and he is in one room and I'm in another .. the kids are gone. most of the time.. . but we don't talk or do anything .. we just live together.. he love the TV.. COMPUTER .& reading Books AND BEING ALONE.. he is very sneaky he never talks to me so I never know what is up or why he feels this way... he just says "It is what it is.".... WTF does that mean..?

I feel were over and he is GAY or something and he just don't wan to admit it .. Something is wrong with all our men for them to rather a man'" hand on there penis than our.... something just isn't right.... I don't know what to tell the first lady .. If you can rock his world and blow it like there is no tomorrow... WTF... IS WRONG WITH HIM.??.. AND Want to do it so many time.. by p**** would cry at my age now.. and I'm not 40 OR NEAR IT by far.... but I can't do all that 5 days a week.. with 2 kids and a job.. and a house to clean .. I am too dam tired.. But I do give it to him RIGHT.. WHEN I want it and when he wants it no matter when he wants it.. except when its that TIME OF THE MONTH I'M NOT DOING c**p WITH ANYONE AT THAT TIME... BUT I'M AVAILABLE TO HIM ANY OTHER TIME DAY NIGHT 28 days of 30days in the month.. EVENING AFTERNOON.. AND I DO AND I ASK FOR SECONDS.. HE CAN'T HANG or just don't want too.. I Feel cheated and less of a person for him doing this to me.. I feel like c**p.. and this is sad I did nothing wrong.. Check this out.. I found where he was doing it and he was hiding his underwear in his drawer out of all places... I place them on the bed with a note.
saying "wow you have been busy .. I guess that is why I haven't seen him in 4 weeks.. and left it at that.. told him I was done... HE GETS PISTED AT ME !! AT ME... HE IS MAD.. LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG....AND now want talk to me and just does worse things to get to me now... where he want do c**p now.. nothing... he acts like I'm not here... at all but refused to leave or get help he will not discuss our personal issues with a stranger is all he says.. is he crazy . or am I just crazy. is all he will say... . I feel I've lost my best friend of over 20 yrs.. may be its because we dated and married so young we didn't get to know each other enough... I really believe he was abused as a child.. I don't know if this may have something to do with your husbands too. but .. I really feel something happen to him as a child.. and I'm just going to may be have to let him go and fight his own demons on his own... because nothing I CAN DO will help him.. and he don't want my help... I'm ending my life... because he choose to not stop and I choose to believe there is hope when year after year it only gets worse or worser.. with something new he is doing trying or buying...

I am a woman torn and destroyed... by a man who loves himself or porn more than ME OR HIMSELF... GOOD LUCK LADIES... I Don't know If I HELP MUCH.. but we all need to move on and get the live we were meant to have instead of hoping and wishing for what we know is never change.. .. I hope you can read what .. I'm saying and understand my pain and frustration... this is so embarrassing I'm not able to share it with anyone.. I'm thankful for this page and sight.. to let go and release it all and hope someone will understand my pain and how embarrassing this is for me and understand how I feel and help me to know why?> what did I do wrong.. ?? TO THE LADY WHO IS GETTING HER HUSBAND TO GO AND GET HELP AND TALK ABOUT IT... MAY BE YOU BOTH CAN MAKE IT .. HE KNOWS HE HAS AN ISSUES AND HE IS WILLING TO TALK ABOUT IT.. WITH SOMEONE .. YOU ARE HALF WAY THEIR GIRL .. HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU... MINES WILL NEVER TALK to anyone to get us better.... SO I KNOW WERE CLOSER TO DIVORCE THAN YOU ARE.. KEEP TRYING TO GET IT BETTER... BOTH OF U.. THANKS FOR LISTEN.. LOOK FORWARD TO YOU COMMENTS..
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i don't know about them, i'm a guy.. but if i had my lovely & hot wife beside.. i would have sex with her 24/7 if possible.. i'd rather do it with someone i love than watch porno.. and besides, my arms wouldn't feel tired from stroking my thing. lol. :$
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Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen.

I was referred to check this website out as many people are sexually frustrated or need plenty of help/advice.

I am a husband and have been with my sweetheart for 13 years even though im 22.

I love her more than myself and more than anything possible.

I love sex and oooooohhh my god my wife loves it more than me.lol

we make love twice a day and have sex like mad once a day.

I am working part time as a sex therapist and am studying sexual psychology and sexual mentality and its effects.

Email me if you got any querie.

My life is all about sex and its deeper meaning. I aint a sex a holic because I stick to one lady only and never watch porn.
Y would a guy watch a lady getting rammed and then get so turned on because he wants to do that and feel the feeling and use his hand even though he may have a girlfriend/wife?

Sad men these days. probably addicted to what we call childhood attributes.
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You are all rediculous!
The women posting in this are "poor me" and the guys are b.s.ing.
I am a married guy and I love Porn. Fact of life- I also mastur bate too much. I love my wife and while she doesn't have the sex drive she used to (at 31) we still have sex, tho there are times not for weeks because I'm used to taking care of myself after she goes to bed and she goes to bed.

COMMUNICATION ladies... you need to be communicating with your partner about everything- that is what a marriage is, remember??
Forbidding him from looking at porn is a joke, divorcing because you haven't got the guts to address the issue and communicate with him is ridiculous. You need to talk to him, find out what he thinks and tell him what you think and how you feel. If you cannot come to an understanding, possibly with the help of a therapist or marriage counselor THEN divorce is a possibility, but if you don't talk it's not just him who has failed.

Now, to the b.s.ing guys--- yeah we've all heard it before, if you have a lovely lady with you you'd never stray, or never master bate ... no matter what someone looks like there is MORE to a relationship than looks. Attitude, personality, persona... all have importance in compatibility for a relationship. Would we be more into sex with our partner if she was 20 lbs lighter, like before she had your child? Maybe, depends on the specific guy. Different guys like different things- some like ultra skinny girls, some like petite board straight (masculine definition) hip less curve less girls, some like hourglass figures, some like thicker and plus size figures. Just as some like blondes while some like brunettes... all taste and what you find attractive is not necessarily what someone else does.

Now, to the therapist who replied- if you honestly believe what you posted you have a lot to learn my friend. Keep the Freudian stuff in the text book- childhood attributes...by what you typed you're a type A personality I would expect and... well, you're the therapist, diagnose yourself.
Many guys look at a relationship, or marriage as the end of their life in one respect- common culture exemplifies it in bachelor parties, movies, and jokes. Porn and mastur bation can be one way for a guy to have verity in his sex life without straying, or sex without commitment (again without straying), or exposure to fetishes or sexual acts he may be too embarrassed to discuss with his partner.
There are endless reasons the situations could have happened, but the solution is communication between partners... period.
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"Posted: 08/26/10 - 07:52 " --> Right on target from that last poster.

This last post was right on the money. I am a dude and my gf is totally ok with me pleasuring myself. We still have sex quite often and yet we are open and honest enough with each other to be comfortable doing this. That so called sex therapist has a penis up his ass and is just trying to make himself feel better and trying to make himself look good. Ladies, talk to your partners and once you do that, things will get better. If not, leave him as he doesn't deserve you.
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Oh boy this sounds very familiar. I do think that my fiance has some kind of insecurity, or just prefers masterbation rather than the real thing. I am a middle aged woman, and I know that I am attractive. Have never had a problem turning a man on, or pleasing him. This time is the exception. Although I have no problem once he's "in the sack" with me, we can go over three wks before another session(if I just idly sit by and wait). I have found porn on the computer, and he has admitted that he used it to get off. I don't care so much about that, as I am a little worried about my own sexual pleasure since we are suppose to get married, and rarely have sex. He is also my age, but there is no problem with an erection. I think (since I tend to analyze) that something that happened when he was a boy has affected his sexuality, or perhaps has "messed him up" that way. I know that men masterbate, and so do women, but this is a little different. He hides it from me. And avoids sexual contact with me, yet I have found indications that other stimulae is used frequently so he can get himself off. I don't think this will change. I think he has been this way for a very long time.
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I don't know why guys' do that for, mine does the same thing, 
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All I can say is that people who watch internet porn and enjoy it are actually sexually addicted. By masterbating watching such material creates chemical changes in brain that only get used to only hand practice. These people will never enjoy sex with someone else. There is a body called SAA (sexual addicted annoymous) similar to Alcohol Annoynymous which provides real help in this regard. Any marrried woman finding changes of sexual behaviour in recent times must watch their husbands. Once boys crosses the limit that means out of control there is no coming back. Porn on internet must be banned altogether.
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hi, i hate to say it, but you might need to have an affair. the way your husband acts is not normal. especially when you enjoy sucking his penis and jacking him off and f*****g him.
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hi, you need to have an affair.
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Hey Lovely! I am almost facing the same problem my husband and i are married for three years and he is not interested in having sex with me. I have caught him watching him porns a lot of times and he says he don't do it. He can live with out sex for more then a month( i just have waited for a month bcz i have a limit). He doesn't discuss it like your husband too. I am very frustrated and feel sooooooo rejected. It was a love marriage and i want to be loved by my husband but he is not into having sex. Even if he do it its very quick and no passion in it. He don't want to consult any body and don't want to discuss it with anyone. :( i am soooo losstttt like you ...... i just don't know what to do ... my friends says that he is gay ... bcz i am willing to do it at any time and in any pose and i am attractive too.... :( i don't know what to do .... i still love him :(

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