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I've had a friends with benefits arrangement with a guy friend for over a year now. At the start I loved flirting with him and having this secret, but that soon fell away. I know he's a sucker for the chase and I think it's too easy for him now. He expects me to come running to him whenever he wants without any effort on his part whatsoever. He doesnt even say nice things to me anymore, I feel like i'm just an outlet for him and he's not attracted to me even. To the contrary he's treated me pretty bad lately. The smallest thing makes him fly off the handle with me big style. He apologises for being aggressive but he never changes his behaviour. Worst part of all of this is even though he treats me bad, doesnt act like he's attracted to me in the slightest and I feel cheap and nasty after we hook up, I cant stop going back to him. I think I have issues with sex addiction so the pull of sex outweighs everything else in the heat of the moment. Even though I know i'll feel c**p afterwards it's like i get tunnel vision. I don't want a relationship from him at all, his mood swings have scared me so much that I wouldnt be with him even if i wanted to, but am I right to think he should treat me better than this? I wish I could stay away from him, I just don't know how. It sounds messed up (cause it is probably) but when we've called things off because we're dating people we're really good friends. When the arrangement is back on we only seem to get along when we have sex, we just get into arguments otherwise. It's so toxic to our friendship but neither of us can stop. When we call it off because we argue we change our minds a couple of days later. I can't break free!

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I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to make some guesses about you.  Pardon me if I'm off the mark.

The main guess is that you don't like yourself very much.  Addiction itself can be quite self-destructive and a person often becomes addicted to something because that thing artificially feeds a need.  Sex is an act of love and affection and you probably feel like you receive that when you have sex.  Being around this guy means you get your "fix" for affection; however, you also receive punishment that you may feel you deserve because you don't like yourself.

I suggest you seek treatment for sex addiction.  Seek out a sex therapist.  These are psychologists trained in treating sexual disorders, such as addiction.  See what they have to say.  Be prepared to talk about any negative feelings you have for yourself.  In my experience, negative perceptions of the self are the inherent reason why anyone has an addiction.
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Did you ever break free?
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