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How do I tell my boyfriend that it hurts when we have sex??? I’m 16 and he’s 17 and every time we have sex and I’m not turned on It hurts really bad. Sometimes if I tell him it’s hurting to bad he’ll stop... other times he won’t... he’ll keep going even if I’m crying or trying to get him off me (he’s 6’4 and a star football player). Sometimes if he’s too aggressive I’ll bleed and be in a lot of pain after, our size ratio doesn’t help either I’m really tight and he’s at least 8 inches. I love him and I don’t want this to end our relationship. My friends know about this and are threatening to tell his coaches and mine if I don’t do anything about it, i don’t want to get him in trouble and I’m also on varsity basketball and don’t want to get kicked off.We’ve had sex many times but at least 6 times he’s done it and hurt me. What should I do??!!!

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If it only hurts when you are not aroused than I have three suggestions that may help make it more comfortable:

1.) Ensure he uses LOTS of a good quality lubricant on his penis and also apply some with your finger to the inside of you vagina. The pain is most likely due to you not producing natural vaginal lubricating fluids when you are not aroused.

2.) Ask him to give you plenty of foreplay (Oral sex, fingering and clit stimulation) before you engage in intercourse. This will again stimulate your vagina to produce lubricating fluids. (though before period you may still require artificial lubricant as the vagina is more dry just before period)

3.) (ONLY If you are on birth control (the pill or implant)) Have him to masturbate and ejaculate onto the outside and entrance of your vagina. Cum makes very good lubricant. Then have intercourse and use is cum as lubricant.

In saying all that, I feel he needs to learn to respect you and stop if you are not in the mood or are uncomfortable. Not stopping when asked to do so could be considered rape.

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