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hey, first off please dont go off at me for being young but i am 15 and my partner and i are both sexually active so we do have sex. recently he has wanted to try anal, i want to try it as well but i'm scared it will hurt because im not exactly loose down there, so i want to know how to i could possibly loose down there.

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Hey,

The best thing I can suggest is lube lube lube and to relax.  Be sure this is something you want to try and your not just saying yes because your partner really wants to try it and your trying to make them happy.  Anal is not for everyone, even if you do try it and don't like it there is nothing wrong with saying nah it;s not for me (even midway) and giving up on it.  That being said some people really enjoy it, so it's about making it safe and not painful.,   Like vaginal sex you may want to start with him using his finger to get you used to the sensation or a smaller sized dildo It's usually advisable to wear a condom for anal as that area is a lot easier to tear and become infected.  Make sure the lubricant you are using is not oil based for use with condoms as they may tear.  A water based lube from the store or chemist such as KY or aqua gel is best.  You need to be very relaxed and ask your partner to go slow letting you take control,  you can lean into it as much as you feel comfortable to get used to the feeling, as it makes you feel like you need to poo at first.  It's worth pointing out at this point if you can go to the toilet before, even if its a few hours before as you don't want any embarrassing situations,  If it's not for you and you both decide to go back to vaginal be sure he nips to the bathroom and washes.  The bacteria in your bottom, when put in the vagina area can cause big problems and cause a lot of pain from infections, urine infections being the most common.

I hope this is helpful<3

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thank you so much
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So can we please make this web site for 18 and up kids
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I agree with Violet Cherry. I would like to add to it a little. If I get carried away and overwhelm you, just skip anything you don't understand for now or ask for clarification. I am also rather tired, so I hope I don't mistype too much.

While many women occasionally provide anal sex to please their partner, it is not true that women do not like it at all. More women engage in anal sex than they are willing to admit. Many of these find it enjoyable from time to time, and it is not uncommon to find women who really enjoy it on a regular basis. Whether you enjoy it this time or not, your opinion may change at a later date. And at some time you might like to find what it would be like to do him this way too. I am sure that would come as a shock to him! ;)

Let me remind you of the importance of foreplay, arousal, and lube throughout all of this, and please refer back to this sentence frequently!

Many people help prepare by loosening anus up first. This is done by using a small, that is the keyword here - small, dildo or vibrator which is inserted into your anus where you will leave it for a while, for around 30 minutes or so. Then it is pushed in and out simulating intercourse to help loosen the muscles. It should be no thicker than half the width of his penis, preferably smaller, possibly only finger width depending on how it feels. You will have to evaluate the best starting size. Often, but by no means always, the small dildo/vibrator will be replaced after a while with a slightly larger one - maybe half the width of his penis or up to 3/4 or 2/3 width if you started with the half width - and anal play is continued for a bit. Sometimes the larger one is left in for a while too. If needed use as many sizes as you need, increasing the size a little at a time until you are ready. Some do this on their own prior to engaging in sex, and others do it together as part of their foreplay. This does loosen you up and help you to prepare.

Let me warn you it can be embarrassing and it may very well make your lover fall over laughing for a while. Basically you are going to be running around for 30 minutes, up to an hour if do some of the optional extra stuff, with an object sticking out of your ass the whole time! If that image doesn't strike you as funny maybe you need to have your funny bone checked, it may be defective.

If you do not have a small dildo or vibrator, an appropriately sized vegetable - or something similar - wrapped in a condom can be substituted. Just make sure it is not too small, you don't want it to slip all the way in your anus and then have to work to get it out. That could end up with you explaining it to the emergency room doctor and then your parents shortly after!

Something else you can try if you have problems is a dynamic tension stretch. You squeeze your anus around the dildo/vibrator and hold it for a few seconds (similar to a kegel excercise if you know what that is) then release and relax Repeat this a few times then stop for

Even more than usual, foreplay is critical. He should do anything he can to help you relax and become as aroused as you possibly can. Oral sex is a great way to relax, and if he can bring you to orgasm so much the better! This may sound gross to you, but sometimes anallingus is performed to help lube and relax his partner's anus. This is oral sex on the back door! At first many sexually inexperienced men are reluctant or even refuse to provide oral sex for their partners, despite the fact they expect you to go down on them and often expect to cum in your mouth and top it all off with the hope you swallow it! If he is one of these that don't want to give you head, then set him straight.

Sex is about mutual pleasure and satisfaction, a woman has every much a right to sexual satisfaction as any man. This should be obvious and beyond debate. I doubt he disagrees with this, yet because of our cultural taboos, many (maybe most?) of them don't realize (at least yet, they usually get it eventually) what that means. The reasons for this would take a book (or two, or three) to cover properly and fairly, so I won't go into that right now. It means that sometimes you are going to half to insist on your sexual rights. He should work to please you just as much as you please him. Not only is it unfair to demand for oneself but refuse your partner, it is flat out wrong!

He doesn't know what you like and what really works for you, and you can't tell him if you don't know it yourself! Spend time exploring your sexuality and guide him into learning what works really turns you on and excites you . Show him how you masturbate and teach him how he can masturbate you almost as good you can. You don't have to be demanding, verbal and physical indications of what you enjoy should work just fine for him to pick it up. Men can be really sensitive about sex so gentle guidance is often best but show him yourself if he just doesn't get it. (As above, you sometimes have to insist on your sexual rights.)

If you take your time together to really warm up and get excited, use plenty of lube, and move slowly and carefully (save the rough anal sex experimentation for a different day), anal sex does not have to hurt. That doesn't mean it won't be uncomfortable at first, but there shouldn't be any sharp pain. If there is, stop and spend more getting aroused and loosened up, such as with the dildo technique I listed above, or stop and try again on a different day with.

To enhance your pleasure, I would suggest one of you massage your clitoris, maybe stroke or tweak your breasts, or anything else you enjoy and find erotic. This could lead to your having an orgasm which is always good. But don't be upset if you don't have one either. While it is true a woman can have an orgasm from penile penetration during intercourse - whether in the vagina or anus - it is estimated that as high as 70% of all women do not have orgasms from penile penetration alone. Most women require additional stimulation of their clitoris in, whether external or internal. to reach orgasm. So your best bet for an orgasm during penetration is to lend a hand.

In any case an orgasm is great before or after just as well as during. Why not have one at all three times if you can?* Yet you should also know that you will not always have an orgasm (he doesn't know it yet, but that will be true for him as well at some point) and you may not have one during this planned lovemaking session.

* = Note that I mean you, if he has an orgasm early he may lose some enthusiasm or even entirely lose interest. It takes time for a male to regenerate. The good news is at this age it really doesn't take long for him to recover. So it may work out fine blowing his mind a few times in the process! Still, for the first time, I would recommend keeping his interest at the fullest so he doesn't get distracted and he really concentrates on taking care of you and making sure you are ready.

While we are talking about orgasms, learning a little about your body can go a long way towards helping you achieve one. As I have written elsewhere, the clitoris is like a iceberg, the majority of it is below the surface and it gets much bigger as your arousal increases. This is because the clitoris is made of erectile tissue that engorges with blood as your arousal progresses, similar to what the penis does but below the skin instead of above it. The clitoris has sections that reach down deep into your tissues that are often called "legs" because of their shape. These can be massaged through the walls of the vagina or anus but that might be difficult to do under normal instances. When fully engorged, however, the inner clitoral tissues have enlarged so that it is much easier to stimulate them internally. (We can discuss the where and how later.)

This is why it is so important take the necessary time for foreplay and to become fully aroused. Although only 35% percent of women routinely have orgasms from penile penetration, most of them want to be able to do that. Your best bet for this is when you are aroused enough that his penis is better able to massage the clitoris from the inside. (The g spot for example, but there are others.) Don't get your hopes up too far, though. It may be your best shot but the reality remains that the majority of women need more than that to reach orgasm.

A really good short, non-pornographic, video about the structure of your clitoris is called "The Internal Clitoris" and it can be found on YouTube. I don't know the rules on using links, but you can find this by searching for "youtube the internal clitoris". Most likely it will be the first link. It is just over 3 minutes long and it really is worth your time. Further research on this can open a path to greater sexual enjoyment. You might consider searching for terms like: clitoris, clitoral legs, urethral sponge, female prostrate, and g spot just to start.

I hope this isn't too much. I apologize if it is.
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I messed up on my post and didn't finish part of what I was saying. It wouldn't let me edit because it said it was past the allowed time to make any edits. Here is the corrected one though it isn't that much different. I apologize for effectively double posting.

-------------------------------------

I agree with Violet Cherry. I would like to add to it a little. If I get carried away and overwhelm you, just skip anything you don't understand for now or ask for clarification. I am also rather tired, so I hope I don't mistype too much.

While many women occasionally provide anal sex to please their partner, it is not true that women do not like it at all. More women engage in anal sex than they are willing to admit. Many of these find it enjoyable from time to time, and it is not uncommon to find women who really enjoy it on a regular basis. Whether you enjoy it this time or not, your opinion may change at a later date. And at some time you might like to find what it would be like to do him this way too. I am sure that would come as a shock to him! ;)

Let me remind you of the importance of foreplay, arousal, and lube throughout all of this, and please refer back to this sentence frequently!

Many people help prepare by loosening anus up first. This is done by using a small, that is the keyword here - small, dildo or vibrator which is inserted into your anus where you will leave it for a while, for around 30 minutes or so. Then it is pushed in and out simulating intercourse to help loosen the muscles. It should be no thicker than half the width of his penis, preferably smaller, possibly only finger width depending on how it feels. You will have to evaluate the best starting size. Often, but by no means always, the small dildo/vibrator will be replaced after a while with a slightly larger one - maybe half the width of his penis or up to 3/4 or 2/3 width if you started with the half width - and anal play is continued for a bit. Sometimes the larger one is left in for a while too. If needed use as many sizes as you need, increasing the size a little at a time until you are ready. Some do this on their own prior to engaging in sex, and others do it together as part of their foreplay. This does loosen you up and help you to prepare.

Let me warn you it can be embarrassing and it may very well make your lover fall over laughing for a while. Basically you are going to be running around for 30 minutes, up to an hour if do some of the optional extra stuff, with an object sticking out of your ass the whole time! If that image doesn't strike you as funny maybe you need to have your funny bone checked, it may be defective.

If you do not have a small dildo or vibrator, an appropriately sized vegetable - or something similar - wrapped in a condom can be substituted. Just make sure it is not too small, you don't want it to slip all the way in your anus and then have to work to get it out. That could end up with you explaining it to the emergency room doctor and then your parents shortly after!

Something else you can try if you have problems is a dynamic tension stretch. You squeeze your anus around the dildo/vibrator and hold it for a few seconds (similar to a kegel excercise if you know what that is) then release and relax Repeat this a few times then stop for 5 or 10 minutes then repeat. This type of stretch is used to get blood flowing and loosen the muscles all over your body. It is very effective but it should be used moderately and only after regular stretching for most muscles you want to exercise. This doesn't really apply to what we are doing this time, but let's play it safe anyways. The reason you need to be careful, not so much with this anal excercise, is it is possible to pull or sometimes even tear the muscle you are stretching if you insist on doing this too hard. Tearing doesn't happen often. What usually happens is the nerves in the muscle or tendons detect the strain and determine there is a risk of tearing , so the nerves trigger a defensive reaction which freezes the muscles and tendons in place. It doesn't do it in a nice way, it really hurts! Often when someone says they pulled a muscle this is exactly what they mean.

The muscle and tendons lock very painfully and freeze for a few seconds. When they release the muscle is left weaker, sometime a lot weaker, which is sometimes referred to as partial paralysis but what they really mean is significantly weakened. This is useful reflex that can be used against an aggressor. By strongly striking into where the tendons attach to the bone and muscle (the insertion points) you can confuse their body into this response. It works really good against their leg, it really hurts and when it releases the weakness makes it difficult to use the limb effectively. It would make it difficult to chase you, for example.

I know, got carried away and got way of track. I will get back to it, I promise! I hope you found it interesting at least.

Even more than usual, foreplay is critical. He should do anything he can to help you relax and become as aroused as you possibly can. Oral sex is a great way to relax, and if he can bring you to orgasm so much the better! This may sound gross to you, but sometimes anallingus is performed to help lube and relax his partner's anus. This is oral sex on the back door! At first many sexually inexperienced men are reluctant or even refuse to provide oral sex for their partners, despite the fact they expect you to go down on them and often expect to cum in your mouth and top it all off with the hope you swallow it! If he is one of these that don't want to give you head, then set him straight.

Sex is about mutual pleasure and satisfaction, a woman has every much a right to sexual satisfaction as any man. This should be obvious and beyond debate. I doubt he disagrees with this, yet because of our cultural taboos, many (maybe most?) of them don't realize (at least yet, they usually get it eventually) what that means. The reasons for this would take a book (or two, or three) to cover properly and fairly, so I won't go into that right now. It means that sometimes you are going to half to insist on your sexual rights. He should work to please you just as much as you please him. Not only is it unfair to demand for oneself but refuse your partner, it is flat out wrong!

He doesn't know what you like and what really works for you, and you can't tell him if you don't know it yourself! Spend time exploring your sexuality and guide him into learning what works really turns you on and excites you . Show him how you masturbate and teach him how he can masturbate you almost as good you can. You don't have to be demanding, verbal and physical indications of what you enjoy should work just fine for him to pick it up. Men can be really sensitive about sex so gentle guidance is often best but show him yourself if he just doesn't get it. (As above, you sometimes have to insist on your sexual rights.)

If you take your time together to really warm up and get excited, use plenty of lube, and move slowly and carefully (save the rough anal sex experimentation for a different day), anal sex does not have to hurt. That doesn't mean it won't be uncomfortable at first, but there shouldn't be any sharp pain. If there is, stop and spend more getting aroused and loosened up, such as with the dildo technique I listed above, or stop and try again on a different day with.

To enhance your pleasure, I would suggest one of you massage your clitoris, maybe stroke or tweak your breasts, or anything else you enjoy and find erotic. This could lead to your having an orgasm which is always good. But don't be upset if you don't have one either. While it is true a woman can have an orgasm from penile penetration during intercourse - whether in the vagina or anus - it is estimated that as high as 70% of all women do not have orgasms from penile penetration alone. Most women require additional stimulation of their clitoris in, whether external or internal. to reach orgasm. So your best bet for an orgasm during penetration is to lend a hand.

In any case an orgasm is great before or after just as well as during. Why not have one at all three times if you can?* Yet you should also know that you will not always have an orgasm (he doesn't know it yet, but that will be true for him as well at some point) and you may not have one during this planned lovemaking session.

* = Note that I mean you, if he has an orgasm early he may lose some enthusiasm or even entirely lose interest. It takes time for a male to regenerate. The good news is at this age it really doesn't take long for him to recover. So it may work out fine blowing his mind a few times in the process! Still, for the first time, I would recommend keeping his interest at the fullest so he doesn't get distracted and he really concentrates on taking care of you and making sure you are ready.

While we are talking about orgasms, learning a little about your body can go a long way towards helping you achieve one. As I have written elsewhere, the clitoris is like a iceberg, the majority of it is below the surface and it gets much bigger as your arousal increases. This is because the clitoris is made of erectile tissue that engorges with blood as your arousal progresses, similar to what the penis does but below the skin instead of above it. The clitoris has sections that reach down deep into your tissues that are often called "legs" because of their shape. These can be massaged through the walls of the vagina or anus but that might be difficult to do under normal instances. When fully engorged, however, the inner clitoral tissues have enlarged so that it is much easier to stimulate them internally. (We can discuss the where and how later.)

This is why it is so important take the necessary time for foreplay and to become fully aroused. Although only 35% percent of women routinely have orgasms from penile penetration, most of them want to be able to do that. Your best bet for this is when you are aroused enough that his penis is better able to massage the clitoris from the inside. (The g spot for example, but there are others.) Don't get your hopes up too far, though. It may be your best shot but the reality remains that the majority of women need more than that to reach orgasm.

A really good short, non-pornographic, video about the structure of your clitoris is called "The Internal Clitoris" and it can be found on YouTube. I don't know the rules on using links, but you can find this by searching for "youtube the internal clitoris". Most likely it will be the first link. It is just over 3 minutes long and it really is worth your time. Further research on this can open a path to greater sexual enjoyment. You might consider searching for terms like: clitoris, clitoral legs, urethral sponge, female prostrate, and g spot just to start.

I hope this isn't too much. I apologize if it is.
Reply

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