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A couple months back i had just consented to "fooling around" with my BF. It has all been good up till recently. For some reason when we want to try actual intercourse he can't get in. We tried warming up thru fingering, we've tried lube (yes we are using condoms) but no matter what the pain is excrusiating. Let me highlight that i have a high tolerance to pain and that i only complain when I can't stand it. when he goes in it feels like a yest infection! The first time there was an awful lot of blood. Kindly he checked me with his fingers saying "I riped the opening so we don't have to worry about getting in now but we have other problems". "what?" I asked. Basicly he pointed out that my 'bones' were tight and there was the 'cherry'. (Some times it moves down but as i'm warmed up it moves back. weird?)every single time it hurt to the point my body was shaking and only once out of three has he reached my hymen and that hurt so much it almost made me cry. We almost resort to forcing it in but i tense up more to deal with the pain.

I'm a bit wider now but it still hurts like no tomorrow and i am continually sore for days. He can't get passed the 'bones' and reach the hymen. Why is it so painful and why is my hymen so hard and difficult? He's not pressuring me and I'm comfortable and i know it will feel good... but once the pain hits its hard to deal with.

by the way---
I thank him for his patients and bareing with me! and disagreeing that i am defective(he says i'm not)

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I have a little sexual experience so i somewhat know what to do, the last girl i was with didnt have the problems me and my current Gf are having. Every time we try to go deeper inside her, it's causes her imense pain and we have to take a break most sexual things anywhere from an hour to a couple days. She has already pointed out the pain. We can get it in ok, but me being 6 inches, we can only get it to 3 or 4 because of either her bones won't let me passed or hymen which won't break or stretch.

Oh, does the vaginal wall and cherry get tender before/during/after mentration. Just wondering.

by the way---
YOU are NOT DEFECTIVE!!!!!, you're just vaginally challenged.

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Many people are under the impression that the hymen is located within the vagina. It is not. It’s a mucous membrane that is part of the vulva, the external genital organs. It’s located outside the vagina. The hymen is a layer of tissue, just like the tissue around the opening of your vagina that partially conceals the vaginal orifice. You may or may not have one, most females do. What you and him both could be feeling inside would most likely be your cervix which is a coned shaped passageway that connects the uterus to the vaginail area The narrow opening of the cervix is called the os. The os allows menstrual blood to flow out, and widens during labor to allow the passage of the fetus through the vagina during childbirth. If you are concerened about this you could go to your obgyn and talk to her about this problem, sometimes they can strech the female so that she is able to have intercourse more comfortably with less pain...If you have any more question please let us know and we will try to answer them the best way that we can!!!! Hope this helps!!!!
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:-( i jus recently became involved with my exboyfriend again and everything we try to have sex it hurts. like relaly hurts to the point where i cry and won't let him in. then of course he starts worrying about me and softens and we have tried different positions but it jus seems to hurt or i cant get him in me. my gyno has no problem checking me out down there so i know that something can get in. i feel so self concious and not normal that it has gotten to the point where i just want it over and done with. Part of me is even thinkin about buying a vibrartor so i can see if its just him or if its me. please tell me whats wrong with me because i know i want it.
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me and my bf was tryin to have sex but as soon as it his penis was starting to go in side me i just burst out screaming and cry and told hiim 2 stop i just couldnt take the pain everytime we try to have sex this always happens wats wrong with me iit just hurts so bad what should i use oil baby oil or some thing to make it go in easy plese plz help mee
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first of all if your using condoms, then dont use baby oil as it can sometimes damage the condom (eg making holes in it). secondly, the same thing happened with my boyfriend! we were fooling around and he started fingering me , i bled so i think he popped by cherry :S but we still tried sex after that and it HURT, but i think thats because he wasnt hard enough :S if anyone has any tips and tricks on getting it harder then please let me know :-(
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Hey Honey, I feel your pain, my boyfriend and I had the same problem. It's not you nor is it him, is it your first time? coz if it is, it's because the hymen hasn't broken yet. it will be painful but in the end worth it. as the more you do it, the more enjoyable it'll become, if you feel buying a vibrator will help break your hymen in, maybe you should, sex usually is easier in a bath/shower as the water acts as a lubricant. If it isn't your first time maybe you should see a gynecologist, just to check everything's OK.



Good Luck and be careful.



Glasgow Girl.xxx



PS I recommend Durex 2 in 1 massage oil to help you relax, a lot of foreplay tends to help as well:) you can find it in most big retail pharmacies like Boots.:)
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I am 22 years old and my bf is 25. I am in Worse condition than anyone in this world. I feel like to END myself for having this sexual problems. We have been trying to haves sex for 3 years and i cant have it. I have soo much pain intolerable pain that i cant even put fingers in there. My bf is so patient that he takes it so patiently. he bought me dildo vibrators lube every possible thing but i cant take anything in there it is absolutely unbearable pain. I have Yeast and severe bacterial infection and i also had bladder infection... i recently changed my gync she is treating me with bacteria and yeast. It is so itchy, burning irritation. She told me i have a BV ( bacterial vaginism) and my symptoms sound like interstitial cyst thats why i cant have sex. So i went for pelvic and renal ultrasound and my reports came normal with no cyst.. My bacterial discharge is now getting fixed with antibiotics she gave me, but its still itchy there. i cant have sex at all its toooo painful and the worse part is i am not even getting wet anymore which i used to be super wet. whenever i touch myself its all dry. I have no idea what is going on with me. not even sex, i have no pleasure at all , i cant even feel aroused anymore. Although i am dying to have sex but everything is going down. It seems like i am towards the end of my relationship. As my bf and i think i can never have sexx I feel like to die. Any professional Help!!
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What the doctors don't tell you about this subject or are just to stupid to realize! Go to your local pharmacist and ask them for a tube of Dibucaine Ointment. They may have to special order it for you. It is not something you need a script for. What it is normally used for is for woman after they have a baby and they have rips and are healing. It works like Novocain.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Put this on about 15 minutes around the vaginal area, not inside, before you begin your love making. You only need a small amount; however get every spot where the penis will touch. What happened to me was the pain was from the ripping of the tissue in the begining of entry, and once I had penetration I still hurt because the ripping still hurt but with the Novocain effect I could enjoy the penetration. It actually felt great!  The ointment should last about one hour. It should not bother your partner. If you are dry, have your partner wear a condon so it will slip out easy.

I am shocked and upset that no other doctor I went to or OBGYN ever told me about this product and I heard about it on TV "How I met your Mother" when the group was in the baby store.

My doctor told me I had Vaginismus and I have an appointment with him tomorrow. Can wait to tell him he was wrong and show him my product.

I now can have sex again with no pain and then after when it wears off I use some more every so often when I pee, because it will burn, but eventually it will heal on its own and just like flying when I took my motion sickness pills, one day I forgot them and I was fine!

Good luck ladies!

 

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I have a problem too. I can't have sex. Its not that I dnt feel like, its just that when for the first time I had sex with my bf, its was very very painful.we tried from morning till evening. It was bleeding. now we are married for like 2 years but still i am not able to have sex.I mean i pretend that I am having sex but i dnt know somehow he has never realised that I dont allow him to insert. What should I do. I am too afraid of the pain. I feel guilty. I feel bad. please help me. what should I do so that I can have sex without pain. Sometimes I feel that am not in a mood. Do u think am not normal? I have heard that there are few medicines which makes you feel like having sex. Does it work? N if yes can you suggest me some medicine?should I go to a doc fr some treatment. M very very much depressed because of this. plz help me...
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jesus, this sounds like me. i haven't had sex in a year. he used to be able to insert and it was just a slight burning sensation, now it's gotten to the point, i can't even get his tip in. i've gone to the gyno twice, and both times she prescribed me with the same antifungal creams for a yeast infection. i've also tried the monistat 7 day cream, and taken azo yeast pills, as well as a daily vitamin (which i can honestly say i haven't been faithful with). i thought maybe i had what is called vaginismus, which is when your vagina literally closes up due to stress, and usually a secondary problem, after you've been diagnosed with something like a yeast infection. the cure for vaginismus is practically a set of different sized dildos and lube, to stretch it out, but i can get even the largest size in, after starting from the smallest, but it burns so bad on the top of my vaginal wall. it is extremely painful, and i pray that we both can find the answer to this. i feel so abnormal, and i too feel dry, and don't feel aroused ever. i'm sick of blow jobs, and not feeling good enough. hopefully we find some answers.
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I am exactly the same... I never feel aroused ever, I really try my hardest to make him happy (and no he doesn't pressure me, we both just don't know what to do about this). He can go in a bit but it's very uncomfortable, I don't see how this is ever supposed to feel good, and any more than that and it hurts like it's way too big and like a burning feeling... I even just wish there wasn't such a thing as sex because if I never have to do this again I would be happy
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you're really lucky to have a boyfriend like the one you have now :) ANYWAYS have you tried talking to a doctor or your gyn about it? i know this might sound akward but take your boyfriend with you so he can describe what it is like for him trying to get in. that way you're more likely to get a better diagnose. Otherwise it might be you are stressing about whether his penis will go in or not and that causes the muscles around your vagina tense up which would make it more painful and harder for him to get it in. Hope this helps :)
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What did ur doctor say after u showed him the product? I don't hv any infections but I want to use it for the numbness so I don't get pain during sex.. Will it work? Is it safe?
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we haven't had sex much because I get pain during sex. I don't like to do anything sexual anymore because I always fear the pain now. I have pain when entering the vagina and deep inside. What could this be? What should I do? this is our 4 time having sex together .My Husbands is getting irritated because of this can yo please tell me anyone is there any cream or oilt to be used to enjoy sex please suggest me i cant show my face to mu husband

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First, go see your doctor - to rule out any infections. If all is negative:

Inquire if you could have lichen sclerosis or VVS (vulvar pain). These are often misdiagnosed and I personally went years not knowing I had lichen sclerosis. My doctor kept saying everything was fine (it was a gynecologist who finally diagnosed me).

It may be a muscle spasm problem and there are some physical therapists who specialise in pelvic and sexual dysfunctions. Also, you can buy a small thin vibrator and gradually use it until it feels comfortable and you can work your way up to a larger vibrator. Find an oil, or vaseline that helps soothe your itch and pain - nothing with perfumes. Avoid using lubes with flavour or warming sensation.

You could also consider seeing an acupuncturist or naturopath doctor, they have been know to work wonders just by getting in tune with your body and prescribing certain herbs and making certain changes to your diet.

Don't give up hope, do lots of research, be persistent (especially with drs), and be patient. It may take time to figure out what your problem is and to get yourself back to having a sex life. Be very very honest and informative with your doctor - the more details you can give them, the better. For some, antibiotics and birth control can make the problem worse (depending on what the problem is). Here are some sources that may help:

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