Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Is this rape??? I’m 16 and my boyfriend is 17 and last week we had sex and I didn’t want to but he really wanted too. He kept kissing me and touching me and fingering me. I was ok with the fingering part but I didn’t want to have full on sex. He started to take my clothes off and I kept telling him no and to stop. He got them off after like 3 minutes and took off his clothes. I was screaming and telling him to stop and he wouldn’t and he finally penetrated, I wasn’t turned on so I wasn’t wet at all and it hurt really bad. The next day I had a basketball game and could barely play because I was in so much pain. The thing is, I’m 90% sure he thought I was doing foreplay. 2 of my friends know about what happened and think it’s rape and are threatening  to tell his football coaches. I don’t want them too bc he’s 6’4 and a star player. Also it’s basketball season and I’m on varsity and don’t want to get kicked off or get in trouble with both our parents. I love him and I don’t want to break up with him.

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

  hey there so technically by definition what he did would be considered rape. I totally understand your hesitation for making an accusation like that against him could certainly mess up his future very badly. Because you are possibly considered a minor he may have to go on the sexual offender list. Has he ever been threatening or forceful to you before ? How long are you guys been going out for? Has he had other girlfriends in the past? And if so have you talk to any of them and has she done this to them before? Have you talk to him since this happened? There’s definitely some explaining that you both need to have with each other and he absolutely needs to respect you and your wishes as Far as sex and relationships go.  Seeing how you are both young and so close in age I can also see how hormones can take over but this should be a one time thing and he needs to be able to control himself in the future if you even want to consider being with him reporting. What you decide to do good or bad so I think at the minimum you both have a serious conversation. Does he ever hurt you or threaten you ? Or ever make you feel not safe? 

Reply

Loading...

To answer your questions, (in order)
There’s been some pushing and grabbing during arguments. We’ve been dating for 7 mouths. He has had other girlfriend in the past. I know that he’s had sex with another girl before me but that was only one time and I doubt he did this to her (They didn’t date for that long). We haven’t been texting or meeting up as much as we did before it happened. He’s grabbed me when I’ve tried to walk away in a arugument and has held me against a wall which both hurt but he doesn’t know his own strength and I talked to him about it and he understand that him grabbing and pushing me isn’t ok. Sometimes he makes me fee unsafe or scares me when he gets mad at me because he moves closer to me until I’m in a corner. He’s made me cry really hard one time but all couples fight....

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

Ok so these responses make me a bitt nervous. He sounds like he either 1 doesn’t have the most respect for you and or has a difficult time controlling himself .... both are not ok and can be dangerous. I take it he’s a star player and probably very popular at school huh ? Perhaps the reason the other girl didn’t stay long with him is because he might be treating her bad too.... are you able to talk to things girl? You don’t have to tell her he was forceful having sex but maybe just ask how he was in other ways like grabbing her or getting in big fights or scaring not her.... do you know how his family is ? Like is his dad or other sibilants aggressive too?

Reply

Loading...

Yes we both are very popular at school and people call us the “power couple” at school because we both play sports and are athletic. now that I think of it him and That other girl didn’t date they just had sex that one time. I don’t know his other girlfriends that he’s had but I know that most of them were in middle school and I’m pretty sure this didn’t happen. He lives with both his parents and he has a little sister who’s a year younger then us. She’s actually one of the two friends that found out about it. His dad isn’t aggressive at all and doesn’t disrespect or hurt his wife. I also think his Mom is suspecting something’s going on and I’m scared she’s going to tell my parents (they’re all friends).

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

So obviously no parents know you’re having sex and also they probably wouldn’t approve of you having sex?.... another thing I didn’t think of is did he use a condom? And did he ejaculate in you or anywhere that would risk you getting pregnant?..... I’m glad his family is nice but you really need to have a serious talk with him. And explain that he can’t be doing that and that it really hurt you.... also that it is technically illegal and you don’t want him to risk getting in trouble ..... but be aware that often when stuff like this happens it usually tends to escalate and get worse and so if things do not get better you need to get yourself out of the relationship.... does that make sense? Also has he always been aggressive or pushy ? I’m wondering if maybe he could be taking some form of steroids which can definitely affect his mood

Reply

Loading...

Our parents don’t know for a fact that we have sex but they probably know we do. I don’t think they would like it if we had sex because we’re both athletes and have huge futures. I don’t think he used a condom because all he was thinking about was having sex. He did ejaculate near my vigina but he wasn’t inside of me but I don’t know if it got inside of me. Should I take a pregnancy test??? I’m scared to tell either of our parents because I feel like there going to blame him for us having sex even when I gave him permission. Yes I understand if it turns completely abusive then I need to leave him. He’s started to get pushy and aggressive towards me about 2 months ago. I don’t think that he’s taking steroids or anything he wouldn’t do that I just think he’s really stressed out I think that’s why he’s starting to hurt me when I don’t agree or fight with him.

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

Ok well how long ago did the sex happen ? Are your periods regular and when was the start date of your last period ?

Reply

Loading...

This happened on Friday night so the 21st around 10:30pm. I got my period 2 days later but I don’t think I’m pregnant.

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

Ok you’re fine then no worries about pregnancy .....

Reply

Loading...

If he ends us pushing me again or holding me against the walk, any tips on how to get him to stop in the moment? Also should I talk with him alone or talk with him with our parents?

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

Well that depends on your parents and how they will react maybe talk with your friends who already know what happened that way you aren’t alone

Reply

Loading...

Ok thank you so much

Reply

Loading...

User avatar
Health Ace
6473 posts

You’re very welcome please keep me posted

Reply

Loading...

I will. My family always goes over for dinner every Friday so I’ll talk to him tonight and update you.

Reply

Loading...