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How do I tell my boyfriend I don’t want to have sex for a while? We’re both seniors in high school and I know his hormones are racing, but sex isn’t on my mind. Getting pregnant is my biggest fear considering he has a scholarship to a D1 College for sports...

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Well.. for starters that question is partly open ended and by that I mean there’s a lot of variables within your question; what is it about the sex that’s making you not want it with your boyfriend, I’ll name a few possibilities. There’s the first possible reason being that some people don’t like to have sex either every day or even every second day or multiple times a day, to be honest for myself in particular I can’t be anywhere from once every week or two-all the way up to multiple times a day, I don’t have a preference I’m comfortable with what pace my partner sets. Tho I must admit sex to me is supposed to be special and if I have too much sex for a certain period of time eventually I begin to lose interest because it’s just a normal thing and begins to lose that special spark. So if your boyfriend is wanting sex constantly then my advice would be to talk to him about the ways in which your feeling and address the things that are bothering you/ concerning you, and it’s okay to remind him it’s supposed to be special, yeah it feels amazing but it’s not as special if you get it whenever you want/very often. Your boyfriend SHOULD be willing to talk about how your feeling and SHOULD be understanding of anything you bring to his attention. If he can’t have a healthy conversation about feelings that are concerning you when you have the courage to even bring it to his attention then honestly he’s not worth your time life is short sweetheart and any real man would gladly listen to his woman when she’s trying to communicate anything concerning her that’s affecting the quality of the relationship negatively... so that’s one possible reasoning then there’s the pain factor, if your reason for not wanting sex revolves around the way sex feels examples are, pain (light-intense), weird/uncomfortable feelings that are either causing pain or abnormal discharge or even bleeding either during or after intercourse then I would contact you doctor or if that’s uncomfortable for you I would highly recommend going to the walk-in clinic instead, yeah it’s a stranger but that stranger isn’t the doctor you go to see any time your need to see a doctor in the future. I know how hard it can be to address things like sex with a partner but it shouldn’t mean anything bad will happen, if it’s health related you should  get checked out even if you think it might just be minor it could continue to worsen and do irreparable damages and that’s not something you want to be gambling with...if it’s not health related and has anything to do with him I would suggest trying to have a talk with him about what exactly is bothering you. Sex is supposed to be special, generally speaking I would expect it to be enjoyable for you or anyone for that matter, so when you say how do you tell your boyfriend you don’t want to have sex for a while my take on it is; what is the route cause for your desire to tell him you don’t want sex for a while. You will have a healthier solution to your problem by addressing the cause for this issue. If you feel comfortable telling me why you are feeling the way you do I will give you my thoughts on directly addressing the situation, I hope this gives any light to you darkness, let me know how it goes I wish you the best it shouldn’t have to be scary to bring something like this to his attention, any real man will give you the chance to communicate and should be understanding of anything you bring up, if he doesn’t like what you have to say then you two should talk to eachother about why you both feel the ways you do, if he just says “well I still want sex” make sure he knows why you don’t want it and give him the chance to help change how your currently feeling, sometimes men are just dumb and too blind to see when something is wrong, you’d be surprised how many problems can be fixed in a relationship when you tell the other that the problem exists, you should be able to feel safe telling your partner if something is bothering you and your partner should be willing to help you both come to a healthy resolution for your problems. Healthy communication is so important sweetheart without it the relationship will tare itself apart.. I speak from experience.. it really sucks if you lose someone you love and then realize you could’ve changed how things ended out. Imagine how many relationships and marriages would be saved if people were able to bring up things that bother them when they first begin. 99% of the problems that occur in a relationship start with something small but it doesn’t get addressed and as a result it doesn’t go away, then the next small things comes along and adds to the first, again not being addressed so it too does not go away, this cycle continues until the problem has turned into something more unhealthy for the relationship, it can create resentment, fear, emotional pain and stress, it becomes toxic and usually once problems get to this point they get so built up that it eventually is too damaging to be able to get addressed or resolved. When you address the issues when they first start it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your partner. Just look at it like this.. there’s a high likelihood that when something minor begins to make you concerned or is undesirable, most likely it’s not gonna change if it’s not brought up. So what do you expect will happen if you leave it to fester and build, when something doesn’t go away by itself it just builds up and by letting it build up it actually makes it even harder to have healthy communication in general even about something unrelated to what is bothering you. So I stress the importance of healthy communication, without it the issues will just become too hard to deal with and will pollute your relationship. I wish you the best, I hope he’s  a good man to you, not enough real men in this world these days it bothers me a lot how those 50+ year marriages that were ohso common not very long ago now in today’s day and age that kind of love is slowly but surely going extinct if we don’t change something before it’s too late.. I hope any of this can help guide you on the right path. ~ Joshua 

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