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I’m a very depressed person. I’m 15 and I just lost my virginity last night. After I had promised myself to wait until I was legal and to lose it to someone I love but I’ve only been talking too this guy for 3 months. I really can’t stand thinking about it. It adds to my depression even more, I just want to f*****g kill myself. I had this feeling of despair, I had the heavy weight on my chest to where it’s hard to breathe, I can’t take the crying anymore. I can’t even go in public without having a meltdown. I feel sick everyday, all I can do is lay in bed and think about how much I hate myself and the stupid decisions I’ve made. I can only think about how much I let my parents down. I’ve told my mom how I feel multiple times and broke down crying in front of her, she used to see my cuts when I self harmed but never said anything about it too me or anyone. I’ve asked her to take me to the doctor for this but she doesn’t call or make any attempt to understand. My father is a man who is extremely bipolar and is a  misogynist.  I have a friend but she is always with her other friends and doesn’t really talk too me so ig  she’s not even a friend. I just don’t see a point. I’m stupid and worthless. I can’t even keep my damn grades up, I just want to end this nightmare. It hurts so much, my chest hurts my head hurts my body aches. I just want to end it. I wanted to shoot myself today but I couldn’t pull the trigger. I just need help, please

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It’s official, I’m killing myself-the person who wrote this topic
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No I- a stranger who doesn’t know you at all- am BEGGING you do not kill yourself. I almost tried 4 times. It’s not worth it. Find a doctor and therapist. Remember therapists- they’re there to help you not judge you. So it’s okay if you have a complete meltdown in their office the first time you meet them. Tell one person only one person if you need. Have them help you get to a therapist ASAP. If need they can sign you in and bring you there. But please don’t give up on yourself.

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