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I’m still a kid, 13 to be precise, I hadn’t lived long but sometimes I wish I wasn’t ever born or sometimes wished I could die. I’m skinny, I’m not so smart, I’m just flawed. I know everyone is, everyone is different and I don’t understand why my parents won’t accept it. I don’t really know if I have depression but I have taken multiple quizzes online which all say that I do. I have always had meltdowns over the years but lately the past two years I been getting worse and  having the “thoughts”. My parents can always seem to find the negative things in me. My mom have always called me names but I normally never paid attention till now i just can’t seem to handle it. My mother has told me I have some sort of mental problem because I have bad memory. When I cried she just responded “it’s a joke”. Who jokes about their child having a mental problem? She has always told me how ugly I am due to the fact that I am skinny. I know I am awfully skinny, I try to gain weight but just seems like I can’t. My mom blamed me for eating picky, if she knows that I’m picky wont she try to cook things I enjoy? At school I have been bullied for being skinny, and when I come home same thing. It’s one thing for others to criticize me but my parents are suppose to bring me up. I try to keep the house clean, I even babysit my sisters, I put them to sleep, feed them, watch them and  play with them but I’m never enough. I’m always yelled at for doing nothing. My dad had told me a couple of times that he could punch me into a wall if I didn’t behave. When I was younger and did something wrong my parents would yell at me telling me I shouldn’t copy others(who said I do??). They made me write 100 times to not do it again and kneel at the wall and even skip meals but they don’t do that much anymore. Parents say that we shouldn’t yell because they won’t listen but mine constantly yell at me. My mom has always yelled at me for coping the wrong and not listening to her. My parents had started to keep putting me down so much and so often now it’s starting to get me. I don’t know what to do, I started having thoughts to kill myself but afraid on if I might be saved and be a even worse disappointment since my family is always saying that suicide is so stupid such as depression. What am I suppose to do if I have depression? I have also had run away thoughts but don’t know how to plan or even where to go. Can some please help me and give me advice or even positivity? 


Hi Guest. Your not flawed your just your own person. It's unfortunate your struggling with these things that are upsetting you. Do you see your family doctor for regular checks ups? If you do you could talk to your doctor about how your feeling. There are also kids help lines that you can call if needed. Hurting yourself is not the answer reaching out for help is and you have done well by making a post on here. Not sure if your a boy or a girl but for kids body image is really concerning and there is so much pressure to look a certain way. Being 13 your probably going through puberty and that can really impact your emotions. Working on being comfortable with who you are how you look is worth doing. Are you able to talk with your mom and dad about things that are bothering you? Maybe you could ask to talk with them and try to explain how some of the things they say and do hurts you. It's sounds like you try hard to do do things around the house to help out and that's great hopefully they appreciate it. Parents complaining about grades is normal they want what is best for their kids and figure they can try harder and do better. Maybe asking for extra help with the subjects that you struggling with will help to make things better for you. Suicide or running away is not the answer getting help to deal with these things is. If your school has a counselor you can see that person, talk to your parents about seeing your doctor keep posting on here or other sites if it helps if needed call the kids help line. Please don't give up your doing the right thing by reaching out online and that's a great start.