I can't eat anything without feeling nauseous, anxious, or having diarrhea after.

I'm going to separate this into 4 main sections to make this easiest to understand. The first will be basic facts about me, then what has been going on in the past, and then what's been happening over the past month or so and why I'm so worried about it. Sorry if this is all over the place.

About Me I'm a 21 year old female and I've been going through bouts of diarrhea for the past 2 years or so. I wouldn't call myself a hypochondriac, but recently I'd saying I've been "reaching" to figure out what's going on with my body. My father has Non-Hodkins Lymphoma, my mother has MS, my grandfather has colitis and prostate cancer, my grandmother has osteoporosis and epilepsy and something unknown going on with her bladder, and my half-sister (father's side) has an underactive thyroid and just got diagnosed with tonsil cancer.I used to have an unbelievable fear of doctors until recently, and hadn't been to a doctor in like 8 years. I don't have a job, and I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, I spend most of the day by myself. I'm pretty much your basic couch potato except I'm not overweight; I'm 5'4" and was 136 pounds before this started. My boyfriend is gone between  5am - 6pm usually and has Sundays off, and my friend I usually see, only has Thursdays off. Because I spend so much time to myself, I got into the routine of going to bed at odd hours in the middle of the night/morning (usually between 3-7am) and sleeping through the day, so I don't have to spend time alone. I am lonely though, I live in a basement apartment underneath a chiropractor's office, so I find it awkward for myself to just sit outside and enjoy the sun with so many people coming and going throughout the day. So I just stay down here by myself.

The Past Two Years It all started when my boyfriend worked night shifts, driving a truck all night. I was allowed to tag along, but at 3am, usually the only place open for food was places like McDonalds. We ate a lot of fast food. After about a year of this, he found a new job and my body didn't take well to the lack of fast food anymore. That's when the diarrhea seemed to start. I always figured it was lactose intolerance because lactose always seemed to set me off, but even after cutting lactose out for several weeks, I was still having diarrhea. So I just kept eating it. It was never crippling diarrhea though, so I never got it checked out. I figured since I could still go out during the day and have fun, it didn't need to be addressed. The diarrhea would usually only happen after a big meal (dinner) and never by small snacks throughout the day. I was a smoker since I was 16 and mid-April 2017, I quit smoking. I was going on vacation at the end of May and we decided it was perfect time to stop smoking and be able to relax. I was fine for about 3 weeks, until the second week of May hit. All of a sudden I was getting car sick, the heat was bothering me more and more, I couldn't go out because I was having horrible anxiety. When I went to the doctors, I never thought to mention the diarrhea, and they said it seemed like symptoms of withdrawal, just kicking in late. So I got nicotine patches and they seemed to help. Once the end of May hit, we were packing and I realized I wasn't allowed to bring my nicotine patches with me on a plane. I thought I would be ok, even though this was my very first time flying. I wasn't. I threw up and had panic attacks the entire 2 hours of the plane ride. Once we hit solid land, I was fine. We drove for 2 hours and once we arrived, I started to feel sick again. We were there for a total of 8 days and I was sick almost every day. I couldn't eat, we could barely go out anywhere, and we both were miserable. We went to a walk in clinic while there and the doctor prescribed me Lorazepam for the flight home and for the few days I had left there, if needed. Except for the fact that taking the medication without knowing how it would effect me, freaked me out, so I never took it. I was surprisingly fine on the way home though, no throwing up and only minimal crying. I was completely back to normal from when we got back (June 4th, 2017) for about a month.

The Past Month (and a bit) On July 4th, 2017, the day we got back, I got my period. I was completely fine until the 9th. On the 8th my period had ended, and on the night of the 9th I had a horrible panic attack and had them almost non-stop for the next 6 days. I couldn't sleep, and I just laid on the floor next to the toilet every day until I felt somewhat better. I couldn't eat anything at all most days, just minimal amounts of crackers, which would pass through my almost instantly. I have constant feelings like I was going to throw up, and did about 3 times during those 6 days, but mostly just bile. The first time I went to the hospital was at 12am. They addressed the diarrhea and said it could be a lactose intolerance, saying stay away from dairy for 2 weeks, no exceptions, then come back. Because I had tried that in the past, after 3 days and not feeling any better ( actually I felt worse, to be honest), I returned and tried more to talk about my digestive system and what could be going on. The doctor seemed to brush that off and only address my anxiety, but did nothing for it. They gave me a Lorazepam because they knew I was nervous to take them, and it calmed me down. The said take them when needed and try to stay in stress free situations so I didn't need to take them... even though nothing seemed to be setting off my anxiety attacks in the first place! A few days later I went to a walk in clinic and they did a urine test. That doctor was checking if I was pregnant, I guess. I wasn't, which wasn't surprising to me. He said under no circumstance should I continue taking the Lorazepam, as it made stuff worse in the long run. They put me in for an appointment the following week (July 18th, 2017) with my (new) doctor. I was perfectly fine the rest of the day and the next day, but the day after I was throwing up a lot of bile and having a lot of diarrhea. I went to the hospital one more time. They took a stool sample, a urine sample, did 3 blood tests (not entirely sure for what) and put an IV drip of salt water solution (I think) in case I was dehydrated. Everything came back clear and I didn't seem to have any issues. I was told I was fine; and I felt mostly fine, even up until my doctor's appointment. I was told to do 2 stool samples, one for a parasite and the other to check if there was any blood in my stool. I brought the samples in on the 20th, as I was unable to have a bowel movement before then, as I was still eating very minimal. With lack of food on my stomach, I was passing mostly a yellow foam. I've had no visible blood in my stool though. It had been 13 days before I called back the doctor's office to see if they got results. They had, but they told me back of the fact everything came back negative, they never contacted me. The following day I got a note in the mail  regarding my colonoscopy; a consultation meeting has been set up for the 5th of December... seems so far away...  At that point, I put in for another appointment with my doctor, for the 8th of August. I was mostly fine until the appointment, except for my period week. Last time I had gotten the anxiety attacks the week after my period, this time I was getting them during my period, though not nearly as severe. I'm also not sure if this is because I have been stressed/anxious, because of the lack of food entering my body, or for some other reason, but my period only last 1 1/2 days instead of 4, like normal. So by the time I saw my doctor, I was not having the attacks anymore, so I couldn't show him how bad I was. At this point, he's only met me twice and clearly thinks I'm crazy. He asked if I've weighed myself at all since this started, and with all that's been going on, I guess I never thought of it. He weighed me and I was 117 pounds. I have lost 19 pounds in a month. I was so shocked I started to sob. At that point, he put in a rushed order for me to see a psychiatrist and prescribed me Zoloft. I took it with dinner and a couple hours later, started vomiting my brains out, for about 2 hours. I called the pharmacy the next morning and asked about it, she thought I might have the flu (-_-) and suggested trying it again in a couple days, because vomiting isn't a typical side effect of the drug. My mom however doesn't seem to think it was a bad reaction to it, since it happened hours later, not immediately. Either way, I haven't taken it since. I have been mostly fine since about the 10th. I was at my mom's house from the 10th to the 13th, being out of the basement maybe helped, I'm not sure. Although, over the time I was at my mom's, whenever I was starting to feel anxious, I have had a smoke and it seems to calm me down almost back to normal (but I still feel emotional and cry a bit). I'm not planning on starting up smoking "full time" again, but I also will smoke them when I'm feeling anxious if I have to, especially if I'm out in public.

Boyfriend's "Notes" I feel like I should mention this, simply because my boyfriend is very persistent about this idea. He's taken a look at my stools and now has it in his head that I have "Candida Overgrowth" in my stomach or something. The only thing is, I mentioned that to my doctor, and he basically laughed in my face. He says that's not a real thing and it's something people on the internet have made up because they never got the answers they wanted. That would be actually why I'm eating dairy/gluten/sugar free... AKA the Candida diet. The only reason I haven't told him to shut up yet though, is because the diet actually seems to be the only thing moderately working. And most of the symptoms of this made up illness is actually what I've been suffering from. So I don't know...

Wrap Up Since this all started a month ago, I've been eating gluten/dairy/sugar free. It seems to be helping, until I have a craving (because this diet actually sucks and everything else smells amazing), and then spend the entire day/night sick with anxiety/nauseousness/diarrhea. For example, the day my period started this month, I had a 100g box of sour patch kids, because I had horrible cravings, and was throwing up and very ill. And yesterday afternoon I had literally maybe a 1/4 cup of chili and have had 4 bouts of diarrhea since, even though that was basically all that was on my stomach. The past 3 days or so, I've also had a pain in my lower right abdomen. about 3 inches to the right of my belly button and 3-4 inches down... the pain seems to move around that 1 inch radius though, so I'm not sure if it's pent up gas or what. I also have been super sore the past few days and in certain spots, I feel like I have big bruises on my body, even though there's nothing actually there. I've passed this off as I've lost so much weight that my muscles are deteriorating and that was causing my pain... In the past few days, I've also learnt that my uncle, my mother and my grandfather have all had their gallbladders removed, could all this pain and suffering be because of my gallbladder? If I'm honest, I really used to eat like complete sh*t. I would wake up and not eat right away, then when I got hungry, I would pop a microwavable pasta meal into the microwave and eat that, then potato chips until dinner time, and more chips after dinner. So I guess I could understand why my diet could have gotten me into trouble, and now all I want is to be better, no matter what it takes. I just feel like the doctors now only think it's anxiety and nothing else, because of my anxiety attacks. But I feel like I could be anxious because I know something is wrong with me and nothing is helping and nobody thinks what I have is real. I honestly don't even know what to do anymore and it's getting to the point that if I have to continue to keep living like this, with people constantly brushing me off, that I don't know if I want to keep living. Not that I would ever kill myself, but if this keeps happening and I keep losing weight, I'm genuinely concerned I may die... and I feel like I don't even care as much as I should about that fact anymore.

At this point, I honestly have no idea what is going on with my body and I'm hoping somebody else might, because all my doctor seems to do is pass me off to specialists and make me wait months before anything can be done. I mean, I'm grateful that he is, if he thinks I need to see a specialist, but I just wish something could be done sooner, especially because of my weight loss. I have another appointment with him on the 29th of August to see how I'm doing on the Zoloft... except I haven't been taking it so I think I may push the appointment closer. I just feel so horrible because my boyfriend shouldn't have to put up with this and I'm afraid after a while, he's going to have enough of this and leave me. I mean "technically" there is nothing wrong with me, that I know of yet, besides anxiety, and he really can't wrap his head around how mental health is a real thing. As horrible as that is in today's day and age, I get it. No one in his family has ever dealt (at least openly) with mental health issues, so he's never been around it and he seems to be not handling it great. It's putting a lot of unnecessary stress on him...

What I Think it Could Be At the end of it, I feel like this could be a couple things...

In a lot of ways, I fear this could be MS. I live in Canada and I know that's more common here, and because my mother has it, I know that increases my chances. I get the brain fog, anxiety, I have been having trouble sleeping, I occasionally get the numbness and tingling in the hands arms and feet (which my doctor told me was part of the anxiety), I flip flop between constipation and diarrhea. I know that isn't close to all the possible symptoms, but it is always in the back of my head. 

A little far-fetched, but I also fear this could be fibromyalgia. With all the symptoms listed above, plus the feeling of bruises all over my body, it would make sense in my head. But with no family history of it, it makes it harder for me to believe it's that. 

More plausible, I feel like this could be either IBS or colitis. Between the two, I'm not sure which one sounds worse. With no cure or even medication for IBS, I will have to continue to eat like a rabbit for the rest of my life and after one month, I already hate it. On the other hand, colitis almost always turns into Colon Cancer and that freaks me out, simply because I'm only 21 and I have so much life ahead of me. And because bowel issues have known to cause anxiety, that would be where the anxiety is coming from.

It could also simply just be anxiety. That all of this is literally in my head and I feel like this and that is wrong with me and worry so much, that stuff has actually begun happening. It just seems to real to pass it off as "just anxiety" to me though... I don't know.

And finally, as absurd as it is, I mean it could be this so called "Candida Overgrowth". The diet is working bit by bit every day. Because I've "cheated" on the diet every time I start to feel better though, I don't know if it's just coincidence, or if I'd actually feel better next time my period comes around because I'm not eating anything I "shouldn't" be. I need to work on my will power. 

ANYWAYS, I'm so sorry this was so long and all over the place, I just wanted to make sure I added everything and anything I could think of. I'm just, like I said, reaching anywhere for possible answers until I find out actual facts from my doctor about what is going on. I'm just scared and sick and tired of all this. I can't wait for it to all be over, if it ever can even be over with. To the people that actually took the time to read this and respond, I thank you. Feel free to ask any questions if you think I may have missed a symptom that could lead to another illness or whatever. Please try to be nice, I know I sound absolutely crazy, but this situation is driving me crazy... I just want to feel normal and like myself again.